Friday, August 26, 2016
No, it’s not a mistake, the ear of corn being at the top instead of at the end.
The whole of today’s Funny Friday is a Corn Corner. You think you’ve groaned in the past, wait until you read today’s collection of head slappers . . .
There are two types of people in the world.
Those who extrapolate from incomplete data
A Higgs Boson walks into a church.
The priest says we don't allow Higgs Bosons in here.
The Higgs Boson says “But without me, how can you have mass?”
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?
Student: Miss, horizontally or vertically?
Teacher: What do mean?
Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?"
The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4."
Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question.
With little thought he replied, "4.0"
Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question.
The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician,
"What do you want it to be?"
The teacher asks Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."
"Can you tell me what comes after three?"
"Four," answers Johnny.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven," answers Johnny.
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.”
“What comes after ten?"
"A jack," answers Johnny.
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 20 metres away.
The biologist shoots and hits the tree 2 metres to the left.
The chemist shoots and hits the tree 2 metres to the right.
The statistician jumps up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
A C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes but no lighters or matches or anything to light them with. What do they do?
Throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
A weed scientist goes into a shop.
Scientist: “Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate-carboxyvinyl transferase?
Shopkeeper: “You mean Roundup?”
Scientist: “Yeah, that’s it. I can never remember that dang name.”
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Some interesting items in last night’s weekly trivia comp, not including our team name for the night, Ben Dover.
Here is one of those items, courtesy of Master of Ceremonies and questions deviser, Graham E, aka Mr Trivia.
Q: Who was the first superhero to wear a skintight outfit?
A: We took a punt on The Batman, see below who it was.
- Superman appears in comics published by DC Comics.
- The character was created by writer Jerry Siegel and artist Joe Shuster, high school students living in Cleveland, Ohio, in 1933.
- The look of Superman was influenced by action film hero Douglas Fairbanks, including his stance:
- The look of Clark Kent was influenced by actor Harold Lloyd:
- Siegel and Shuster sold Superman to Detective Comics, the future DC Comics, in 1938.
- The character debuted in Action Comics #1 (cover-dated June 1938) and subsequently appeared in various radio serials, newspaper strips, television programs, films, and video games.
The first comic appearance of Superman, June 1938
- Superman helped to create the superhero archetype.
- Nicolas Cage’s nearly-pristine copy of Action Comics No. 1 featuring the first appearance of Superman, sold for a record $2,161,000 in an online auction in 2011. It is the first comic to sell for more than $2 million at auction. Cage's comic was stolen from his home in 2000 and only recovered in April when an unidentified man bought the contents of an abandoned Southern California storage locker.
- Batman is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics.
- The character was created by artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger, and first appeared in Detective Comics #27 (May 1939).
The first Batman comic
- Originally named the "Bat-Man", the character is also referred to by such epithets as the Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight, and the World's Greatest Detective.
- Unlike most superheroes, Batman does not possess any superpowers; rather, he relies on his genius intellect, physical prowess, martial arts abilities, detective skills, science and technology, vast wealth, intimidation, and indomitable will.
- Batman became popular soon after his introduction in 1939 and gained his own comic book title, Batman, the following year. As the decades went on, differing interpretations of the character emerged.
- The Phantom is a long-running American adventure comic strip, first published by Mandrake the Magician creator Lee Falk in February 1936 and now primarily published internationally by Frew Publications.
The first Phantom comic, February 17th, 1936
- The main character, the Phantom, is a fictional costumed crime-fighter who operates from the fictional African country of Bangalla.
- The series began with a daily newspaper strip on February 17, 1936, followed by a color Sunday strip on May 28, 1939; both are still running as at 2016.
- Falk worked on The Phantom until his death in 1999.
- In the strip, the Phantom was 21st in a line of crime-fighters which began in 1536, when the father of British sailor Christopher Walker was killed during a pirate attack. Swearing an oath on the skull of his father's murderer to fight evil, Christopher began a legacy of the Phantom which would pass from father to son. Nicknames for the Phantom include "The Ghost Who Walks", "Guardian of the Eastern Dark" and "The Man Who Cannot Die"
- The Phantom wears two rings that can permanently mark whomever they touch. The ring on his left hand features four overlapping sabres forming a cross known as "The Good Mark". Those touched by it are under The Phantom's protection and the mark itself is said to give the wearer amazing luck. (I have always thought it looks very much like a swastika). The right hand ring bears a Skull, and those that receive its mark (usually via a strong right hook) retain the mark of a skull for life.
And if you have not yet worked it out, the Phantom was the first costumed hero.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
‘I don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha’: Aussie phrases added to dictionary
Aussie phrases “wouldn’t know a tram was up him until the conductor rang a bell” and “I don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha” have been added to the Australian National Dictionary.
The update adds more than 6000 new Australian words and phrases, including words from more than 100 indigenous languages.
It now has definitions and the history of 16,000 words and phrases unique to Australia.
Babyccino, long black, battered sav, chiko roll, dagwood dog and fairy bread — all everyday descriptions of what we eat and drink, but only now officially recorded.
“Carry on like a pork chop”, “couldn’t run a chook raffle” and “a cup of tea, a Bex and good lie down” are included, as are “do a Bradbury”, “straight to the pool room” and “happy as a bastard on Father’s Day”.
Launching the dictionary, Labor’s Andrew Leigh also picked-up “I don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha”, the “blood’s worth bottling” and “wouldn’t know a tram was up him until the conductor rang a bell”.
“To read a dictionary like this is to delight in the richness of the Australian language and to recognise it is a language that is always changing,” Dr Leigh said.
“May the third edition not be 28 years away.”
Oxford University Press boss Peter van Noorden said it was the first comprehensive update of the Australian National Dictionary since 1988.
Mr van Noorden said politics aside, former prime minister Tony Abbott added colour to the Australian language and was missed by the country’s wordsmiths.
“We’re a bit disappointed that Tony Abbott isn’t as prevalent anymore on our TV screens,” Mr van Noorden said at Parliament House in Canberra on Tuesday.
“He certainly brought us some beauties in terms of ‘shirt front’, which was a real winner. ‘Captain’s pick” was a beauty as well and he sort of the became the poster boy for ‘budgie smuggler’.”
For the benefit of overseas readers:
“I don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha.”
This has nothing to do with cross dressing or lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and/or intersex. It simply means being in a state of confusion.
The phrase was first recorded in the 1940s, a 1948 example from the Sydney newspaper Truth being “Players were all over the place like Brown's cows, and most didn't know whether they were Arthur or Martha.”
The word dates from the 1990’s in Australia and means a drink of frothy milk with a chocolate topping, designed as an alternative to coffee for young children.
A saveloy (frankurt) which has been battered and deep fried. It is often sold on a stick at shows such as the Royal Easter Show and can be dipped in tomato sauce. It has been described as a heart attack on a stick.
Related: “Fair suck of the sav”, meaning that a person’s views or comments are seen as extreme, untenable or untruthful.
The Chiko Roll is an Australian savoury snack invented by Frank McEncroe, inspired by the Chinese spring roll and first sold in 1951 as the "Chicken Roll", despite not actually containing chicken. The snack was designed to be easily eaten on the move without a plate or cutlery. Since 1995 they have been owned by Simplot Australia.
A Chiko roll's filling comprises primarily of cabbage and barley, as well as carrot, green beans, beef, beef tallow, wheat cereal, celery and onion. This filling is partially pulped and enclosed in a thick egg and flour pastry tube designed to survive handling at football matches. The roll is typically deep-fried in vegetable oil.
At the peak of its popularity in the 1960s and 1970s, forty million Chiko Rolls were sold annually in Australia, and the product has been described as an Australian cultural icon. Increasing competition in the Australian takeaway food market in recent decades has seen a decline in the profile of the Chiko Roll, with consumption down to 17 million per annum in 2011
Since the 1950s, Chiko Rolls have been advertised featuring the "Chiko Chick" character, a seductive woman on a motorbike accompanied by the slogan "Couldn't you go a Chiko Roll?". During the early 1980s, the accompanying slogan "You can't knock the roll" was used.
In 2008, the company began a nationwide search for the new "Chiko Chick", hoping to downplay the traditionally raunchy look in favour of more wholesome, "girl next door" image. On 17 July 2008, the new advertising poster was unveiled at the Wagga Wagga Showgrounds featuring Annette Melton as the new face.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Wayne asked for more images of a historical nature, so here you go Wayne . . .
Photographs of inspirational women:
During the liberation of Paris, Simone Segouin served as a French Résistance fighter.
Margaret Bourke-White climbing the Chrysler Building in 1934. Bourke-White was one of the first prominent female photographers.
Leola N. King, directing traffic in Washington D.C. in 1918. King was America's first female traffic officer.
Japanese suffragist Komako Kimura, at a 1917 march in New York City.
Elspeth Beard, the world's first woman to travel the world by motorcycle. The trip took three years, and in that time, Beard covered 48,000 miles.
Smith College's first women's basketball team in 1902.
Gertrude Ederle, the first woman to swim across the English Channel in 1926.
Marina Ginesta, a 17-year-old communist militant that fought during the Spanish Civil War.
Female volunteers who chose to learn how to fight fires at Pearl Harbor.
Amelia Earhart, the first woman to fly an aircraft across the Atlantic.
The two women who showed Toronto their bare legs, the first time a woman's legs were seen in public.
The above photograph reminds me of Ruth Orkin's famous photo "American Woman in Italy", 1951: