Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Post-mortem comments

There have been memorable post-mortem insults and comments from celebrities:

'Posterity will ne'er survey, 
A nobler grave than this: 
Here lie the bones of Castlereagh: 
Stop, traveller, and piss.' 

— Lord Byron, 
on the death of British elder statesman Lord Castlereagh

Lord Byron

Pic: Lord Castlereagh

“How can they tell?”

- Dorothy Parker, 
on hearing that American President Calvin Coolidge had died

Dorothy Parker

Calvin Coolidge

“Goddamit, 14 heart attacks and he had to die in my week. In MY week.” 

- Janis Joplin,
 when US President Dwight D Eisenhower’s death bumped her off the cover of Newsweek in 1969


"He was unfortunate, but the publicity generated by his death was so much...It was good for F1. It was a shame that we had to lose Ayrton, but it happened. He was very popular, but the actual event interested so many people who did not know about the sport, and increased interest in F1 because of it."

- Formula 1 boss Bermie Ecclestone
 in 2009 on the death of Ayrton Senna, killed in an accident in the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix

Bernie Ecclestone

Ayrton Senna

The winner, however, of the greatest (in content and volume) post-mortem insults would have to be non-celebrity Wilma Jones, who hated her son in law so much that she arranged to continue insulting him from the grave.

Her is the story from World News Daily, 28 January 2015:


by Barbara Johnson

When his mother-in-law died in November 2004, Jimmy Thornton believed he would finally be released from her constant insults and condescending comments. He was far from suspecting that 10 years later he would still be receiving letters and all kinds of messages from the old lady.

Wilma Jones, who deeply hated her son in law, took arrangements with a notary before she died, to make sure that Mr. Thornton continued to suffer from her regular reproaches even after her death. She wrote a total of 1758 letters destined to be sent to him at the rate of one per week, as well as preparing audio and video recordings containing up to four hours of continuous insults.

The lady, who died at 79 years old, clearly did not lack vocabulary when it came to insult her son in law. Asshole, ass-kisser, ass-wipe, brown-noser, bum, buttmunch, cheesedick, creep, dickhead, freak, fruitcake, fuckface, fudge-packer, jackass, jerk, lardass, limpdick, maggot, meathead, piece of shit, retard, scumbag, shithead, twit, twittlefuck, wanker and wimp are just a sample of the names she calls him in her messages.

Ms. Jones wrote a huge pile of hate mail and recordings for her son in law before she died, in order to constantly remind him how much she hated him.

In just over 10 years, the Pennsylvania man has received no fewer than 525 letters, 44 audio recordings, 10 video recordings, and even 9 singing telegrams, all of them reminding him that he is “lousy” and a “loser”.

“It’s a real torture!” said Mr. Thornton. “Every week for 10 years, I have been receiving letters from her in which she calls me an idiot and a piece of worthless scum. I receive sung telegrams every year during my birthday party, videos of insults for Christmas… my life has become a real ordeal! The notary who mails the letters says he has no choice butto continue sending them because she prepaid all the fees before she died. The old bitch … even dead, she continues to ruin my life! “

The man even contacted the Philadelphia Police Department in order to try to stop the shipments, but was told that it was impossible to obtain an injunction against a deceased person or an executor. Mr Thornton therefore seems condemned to continue receiving messages from his mother-in-law for the next 20 years.

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