Balls, Hearts and Minds

 

"Cuius testiculos habes, Habes cardia et cerebellum"
If you have their balls, you have their hearts and minds. 

“If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.”

(Variations:  some versions replace the word “If” at the beginning of the quote to “Once” or “When”).

The above quotation, widely quoted during the Vietnam War, has an uncertain origin.

The political concept of “hearts and minds” is that protecting and helping civilians will assist in bringing the population onside and bring about a local or national change of allegiance. 

Some comments: 

Trees: In Memoriam

(The following post is lengthy, I make no apologies for that.

As always, click on the images to enlarge.  Not all will enlarge.) 

Byter John sent me an email just before Christmas that was headed "Loggers (Not for faint hearted tree huggers)".  This was an onsend, meaning that John merely relayed what he had received.  The photos are amazing, the heading sucks, the issues raised are sad.  I researched the photographs and they are genuine, more about that a bit later. 

The email is as follows: 

When the Northwest logging industry was still young. . .

Just look at the length of the hand saw they needed. . .

Funny Friday

 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I've come out in spots like cherries on a cake.

Doctor: Ah, you must have analogy.

A letter from Grandma: 

Dear Granddaughter

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Grandma

Thanks, guys

  

Thank you to Byters Doug and Diane, who sent me complimentary emails (ie containing compliments, not that they were free), in response to my complaint yesterday that there is little feedback until I miss something or make an error, then everyone is onto me like a ton of bricks. 

I appreciate your comments, Doug and Diane. 

The item was tongue in cheek, as indicated by the smiley emoticon near the end: :-) 

Don’t think I am disgruntled, crabby or bitter, far from it. 

Cheers.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand. 

-         Irish blessing

Mick Corby

 

I am presently reading Eamonn Duff’s book Sins of the Father, which was given to me for my birthday.  It is, to quote the words on the cover of the book, “the untold story behind Schapelle Corby’s ill-fated drug run”.   

For overseas readers, Schapelle Corby is an Australian woman serving a 20 year sentence in a prison in Bali for trying to import 4.2kgs of high grade cannabis into Bali.  Convicted in 2005, she has always maintained her innocence and ran a defence that the cannabis was planted in her boogie board bag. With remissions, she will be eligible for parole in 2024 when she will be aged 46.

A paragraph in the early part of the book about her father, Mick, in his younger days had me chuckling:

Noel Vinall remembers very clearly Mick getting busted by the cops for possessing pot in the early 1970’s.  He says: ‘There’s quite a funny story behind one of those early marijuana convictions.  Mick was on his motorbike, high as a kite, when he smashed straight into the back of a parked car.  He was lying there on the ground.  His leg was messed up and broken and he couldn’t move.  He was going nowhere.  Mick was on his back and as he stared upwards, he could see someone standing over the top og him looking down.  His vision was all over the place, but he could see there was someone standing there.  So he shoves his hand in his pocket and pulls out a bag of grass.  He then holds it up to this fella peering over him and says, “Quick, mate, hide this before the coppers come.”  The bloke standing over him took the grass and said:  “thanks, mate – I am the police and you are under arrest.” ‘

Mick and Schapelle Corby

Some Anecdotes

Let me share with you three personal anecdotes which have a wider, symbolic significance:

#1: A Card -

Yesterday I received a late Christmas card from a friend.  I don’t know why it arrived so late, it was mailed well before Christmas.  It is a beautiful card made entirely by hand by my friend, with gold embossing, quilling, glitter and pearls.  The photograph above does not do it justice, it does not show the sparkle of the glitter or the richness of the gold embossing.

I showed it to two of my colleagues in the office, Mark and Lorraine.

Mark said that it was beautiful but he could not understand why anyone would want to spend so much time on something and go to so much trouble.

Lorraine said that if someone had the time to do it, she could understand that creating such an item could be a joyous experience in itself.

My comment was that Mark’s outlook was reflective of Western society today.  Everything is designed to be faster, cheaper, more advanced, disposable.

It's sad that someone taking the time to create something beautiful is looked upon as odd. 

More Names of Bands and Performers, C - D

Canned Heat	Slang term for Sterno, a commercial jellied alcohol used to heat food, typically placed beneath metal pans on a banquet or buffet line. Strained through cloth (or sometimes even white bread), it can be drunk to get intoxicated. Early Mississippi Delta bluesman Tommy Johnson is said to have drank "canned heat," and wrote his song "Canned Heat Blues" about the nasty stuff. The 1960s blues-rock band Canned Heat took their name from the Tommy Johnson song.
Charles, Ray	His actual name is Ray Charles Robinson, but he did not want to be confused with boxer Sugar Ray Robinson, so dropped the Rosinson.
Cheap Trick	They say the band members asked a Ouija Board what they should call themselves.
Chubby Checker	Dick Clark's wife thought up the name as a take off on Fats Domino.
Chicago	Originally named "Chicago Transit Authority" after Chicago's public transport department, they changed their name to Chicago when the department threatened legal action.   Presumably the citizens of Chicago were thereafter able to sleep safe in their beds, protected by the vigilance of the suits of the CTA.
Chumbawamba	In a band member's dream, he didn't know which door to use in a public toilet because the signs said "Chumba" and "Wamba" instead of "Men" and "Women"

Quote: Happiness

 

- Author unknown

Penny Wise

Byter Enid sent me an email which included the following:

I was at the Men's Workshop at Bowden Brae yesterday and said that I had returned 'like a bad penny'. We then pondered the origins of this saying. Of course, Philip suggested that you were the right person to ask.

One wonders firstly what Enid was doing at the Men’s Workshop and secondly where Bowden Brae is, what the words mean and how it received that name.  Still, that is not the task in hand, which is bad pennies and how/why they return.

 “Come Watson, come!  The game is afoot! Not a word! Into your clothes and come!”

-       Sherlock Holmes, The Abbey Grange

More about names

 

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

-          William Shakespeare

Juliet, Romeo and Juliet 

Bytes has previously written about New Zealanders naming their kids with weirdo and bogan names.  See:

http://bytesdaily.blogspot.com/2011/07/in-case-you-missed-it_20.html

http://bytesdaily.blogspot.com/2010/01/news-bogan-names-in-new-zealand.html 

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,

and I'm not sure about the former.”

-          Albert Einstein-           

The willingness to name a kid something weird without thought for consequences is not confined to our Kiwi cousins, the Seppos also have their moments (we in Oz may also have our quota but it is not reported).  In 2009  a child named Adolf Hitler Campbell and his sister Aryan Nation have been taken from their family by child welfare workers. The New Jersey, US, Division of Youth and Family Services removed three-year-old Adolf and his younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (named after SS head Heinrich Himmler) from their home but would not provide reasons.  Dad Heath Campbell claims to be related to a member of the SS.  Mum Deborah also has a normal name.  How did all this come to light?  Because Mum and Dad received publicity for making an issue of the unwillingness of the local cake shop to put the words “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” on the child’s birthday cake.  According to aggrieved father Heath:  “Other kids get their cake. I get a hard time.  It's not fair to my children.”

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/little-hitler-taken-from-parents/story-e6freuy9-1111118571654 

Funny Friday

 

Today’s Funny Friday is dedicated to my doc, David, who is also a personal friend and a subscriber to Bytes.  He is, to use an expression that in the Australian vernacular is the ultimate accolade, “a good bloke”. If someone is described by another as a good bloke, nothing more needs to be said. 

By the way, does anyone know why doctors are colloquially referred to as quacks?  It doesn't happen as much these days, it was more common when I was younger. . . 

 “Gees I’m feeling crook."

 “Then go see the quack and take a sickie.”

The description of doctors as “quacks” dates from about 1570 and comes from the Dutch kwakzalver, a hawker of salve (kwak – peddle; salve – ointment), and from the Middle Dutch quacken, meaning to brag, boast, to croak.  It referred to a peddler who sold fraudulent medicinal ointments in the street and who made claims of cure-all properties for such items.  The word was also used in England and was translated to quacksalver, having the same meaning but later referring more generally to a fake or unethical doctor.  It was eventually shortened to quack and over time became a colloquial term for all doctors, but still retaining an element of not being genuine.  

Caution:  there are some risque items in the following. 

Origins of Names of Groups and Performers, A-B

     

Abba	Abba is "father" in Hebrew but the band claims that to be unintentional - rather it is an acronym for the first names of the band members: Agnetha, Björn, Benny and Anni-Frid (Frida).
AC/DC	1)  It is said that one of the band members saw it on an appliance and thought it had something to do with power. (It does mean "alternating current / direct current".)  The band used it not realizing it was also slang for bisexual- the band claims NOT to be bisexual.    2)  In the vogue of other anti-everything bands it stands for Against Christ/Devil's Children.
Aerosmith	Joey Kramer came up with the name Aero. One day he and a friend were just throwing out words to go at the end of Aero and his friend said Smith. So that stuck
Air Supply	5 years prior to the band's signing, Graham Russell saw the name in a dream.
Alice Cooper	Alice Cooper was a band before one of its members started a solo career under the same name. Allegedly, Alice Cooper was the name of a spirit members of the band came in contact with through a ouija.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Knowing of my interest in quotations, my wife’s gifts to me for Christmas included two books of quotations.  The first is a 2009 small red book called “Keep Calm and Carry On”.  Its 2010 companion volume is called “Now Panic and Freak Out.”  They are pictured below.

In the months to come I will share some of the quotations from both books with you.  The first book summarises its content on the back of the cover by the simple words “Good Advice for Hard Times”.  The second book has a longer commentary: “Keep Calm and Carry On is all very well, but life isn’t that simple.  Let’s own up and face facts: we’re getting older, the politicians are not getting any wiser, and the world’s going to hell in a handbasket.  It’s time to panic.  Here’s a book packed with quotations proving that keeping calm is not an option.”

What is especially interesting about these books is the cover of the red book.  I will explain.

 In 1939 England went to war with Germany.  Herr Hitler had the intention of invading and occupying Britain but the Brits weren’t about to let Adolf and his jackbooted soldaten march through their streets.  No sirree. 

An Answered Prayer

 

An Answered Prayer

I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brains to work.
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for patience and God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favours and God gave me opportunities.
I asked for everything so I could enjoy life. 
Instead, He gave me life so I could enjoy everything.
I received nothing I wanted, I received everything I needed.

- Author unkinown

Rex 'Buckets' Jackson

 

News report, 1 January 2012:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-01-01/rex-jackson-dies-aged-83/3754114

Rex Jackson dies, aged 83 

Rex Jackson, one of Australia's most controversial politicians, has died on the New South Wales south coast at the age of 83.  The former MP, who represented seats in the Illawarra beginning in 1955, held ministries in the NSW Labor government from the mid-70s until his spectacular fall from grace in 1983.  He was convicted of conspiracy as prisons minister for accepting bribes in exchange for letting prisoners out of jail early. He served just over three years of his 10 year prison sentence before returning to Helensburgh and running a hotdog stand.

Happy New Year 2012

 

As we enter another new year, I am reminded, surprisingly, of the words of John Wayne. 

I know that it’s easy to send him up, to regard him as some sort of redneck boofhead who said things such as “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do,”  who upset feminists (story below) and who made the term “Pilgrim” a form of derision.

But he also said a lot of things that made good, sound commonsense.  Those comments will be the subject of a future Bytes post.

The quote that came to mind tonight as I was watching the Sydney fireworks on TV with my wife, Kate, was what The Duke once said about today and tomorrow.  Substitute this year and next year for today and tomorrow and you’ll see that it is quite apt: 

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.”

The words are on the plaque marking Wayne’s grave.

2012 and Mayan Calendars

 

  

Anyone who has seen the movie 2012 will know that:

·         2012 will see the end of civilisation as we know it;

·         the Mayan calendar predicts the end of time will occur on 21 December 2012;

·         the cause will be neutrinos (electrically neutral subatomic particles) from a massive solar flare causing the temperature of the Earth's core to increase.  

So what is the deal with the Mayan calendar and 2012?  Numerous groups have predicted that 2012 will mark the end of the world, a spiritual shift,  a cataclysmic event, a societal upheaval, and so on and so on, the list continues.  The internet is abuzz with it and numerous books and articles have been written about it.  Separate from the Mayan calendar, there have been predictions of a reversal of the Earth’s magnetic field, severe solar storms associated with the 11-year solar cycle (which may peak in 2012), a reversal of Earth’s rotation axis, a 90- degree flip of the rotation axis and bombardment by large comets or asteroids.    In many of these predictions the Mayan calendar prophecy, as it is called, is relied upon or cited as corroboration. 

Some interesting bits: 

Funny Friday

 

The priest was waiting on Saturday afternoon for his usual parade of people coming to confession. In comes a man so drunk, he is stumbling down the aisle, bouncing from pew to pew. Finally he finds the confessional, goes in, and shuts the door.

The priest goes in his side and waits. Nothing happens. He clears his throat so the fellow might know he is there and ready. No reaction. Finally, he starts losing his patience and bangs sharply on the wall three times.

The drunk fellow in the confessional says, "It's no use knockin'...There's no paper in here either!"

Two elderly Jewish ladies meet on a street corner.

"So Sadie, how's by you I haven't seen you in years?"

"Marvellous, Rivkeh, things couldn't be better! My son Harold is an accountant making lots of money.  My daughter Cynthia married a rich man and both of my children have given me beautiful grandchildren and so much naches...but enough about my joys...so what's by you and your family?"

"Oy Sadie, don't ask! Me, I have such tsores!"

"Nu Rivkeh, I'm so sorry to hear that; but what kind of tsores?"

"It's my son Arnold. He revealed to us that he's a faygeleh."

"Oy, a faygeleh, what a disaster!"

"I know, but we do have a consolation..."

"Vos for a consolation with a faygeleh?"

"Well, he's going with such a nice Jewish boy who's going to be a doctor!"

 

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."

"Of course you can come in. You're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, no. Fact is, he got out three times to take a pee.”

2011 in Quotes - The World, Part #3

 

September: 

"As for me running for president, look, there's a guy in office who is smarter than anyone you know, and nicer, and he's having an almost impossible time governing. Why would anyone volunteer for that job? I have a very good job, so I have no interest." -- George Clooney.

"He should be behind bars." -- US secretary of state Hillary Clinton, on Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi.

"You're in total isolation and don't know how long you're going to be there. But you truly believe they can do anything to you. There's no way to even question it. You're not protected by anything. Why am I here? Your mind is very uncertain of time. You become like mad. It's very hard for anyone. Even for people who have strong beliefs. " -- Ai Weiwei, artist, on being imprisoned in China. 

"I am very sad to tell you that I've just been fired over the phone by Yahoo!'s chairman of the board." -- Carol A. Bartz, Yahoo!'s chief executive, in e-mail sent to employees with subject line 'Goodbye'.

Quote: Amy Winehouse

 

"I'm not religious at all. I think faith is something that gives you strength. I believe in fate and I believe that things happen for a reason but I don't think that there's a high power, necessarily. I believe in karma very much though. There are so many rude people around and they're the people that don't have any real friends. And relationships with people - with your mum, your nan, your dog - are what you get the most happiness in life from. Apart from shoes and bags. "

-           Amy Winehouse

 Amy Jade Winehouse (1983-2011) died on 23 July this year.  Not only did the world lose a troubled soul tormented by her inner demons and by substance abuse, it also lost a unique singing and songwriting talent.

Following is a brief chronology:

1983	Born in North London to a Jewish family.  Taxi driver father Mitch sings Frank Sinatra songs to her and she develops an interest in jazz early on, even singing in class at school.
1992	Parents separate.  At the suggestion of her grandmother, starts attending Susi Earnshaw Theatre School
1993	Forms a short lived rap group, Sweet ‘n’ Sour
1996	Changes to Sylvia Young Theatre School. Receives first guitar
1997	Begins writing her first music
1998	Starts work as entertainment journalist and starts singing with local group The Bolsha Band.
2000	Is the featured female vocalist with the National Youth Jazz Orchestra.  Influences are Sarah Vaughan and Dinah Washington.
2002	Signs with record company 19 Management.  Also signs publishing deal with EMI.  Adopts Cleopatra makeup and beehive hairdo from 1960’s girl group The Ronettes.
2003	Debut album Frank successful in the UK. Apart from two covers, every song co-written by Amy Winehouse.
2006	Follow up album Back to Black nominated for 6 Grammy awards, wins 5 including Best New Artist, Record of the Year and Song of the Year.
2007	Marries Blake Fielder-Civil. Her life publicly spirals out of control, including drug use, alcohol abuse, violence, inability to perform, bizarre statements and aborted rehab attempts.
2008	Fielder-Civil imprisoned 2008 and 2009 for perverting the course of justice and assault. Winehouse becomes involved with other men and women.
2009	Winehouse divorced. Her substance abuse and mental health issues continue. She is also charged with various assaults at different times.
2011	Records duet of Body and Soul with Tony Bennett for his Duets 11 album (photo above). One month later she dies of alcohol poisoning. On December 6 2011 an album of unreleased material, Lioness:  Hidden Treasure, is released.

“I know Amy Winehouse very well. And she is very different to what people portray her as being. Yes, she does get out of her mind on drugs sometimes, but she is also a very clever, intelligent, witty, funny person who can hold it together. You just don't see that side.”

-    Lily Allen

“Singer Amy Winehouse, who died in London overnight, has joined a tragic group of famous rock stars who passed away at the age of 27 - the notorious 27 Club. Rolling Stones founding member Brian Jones, guitarist Jimi Hendrix, singer Janis Joplin. The Doors singer Jim Morrison and Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain are the other major "members" of the ill-fated club.”

- News report