Monday Miscellany: A Collection of Odds, Ends and Personals

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In yesterday's post I asked who remembered women wearing big hair wigs and men wearing hats?

It had me thinking about my own mother and father (both no longer with us) when they attended my graduation in Arts in 1973 (Law was yet to happen) . . .

My mother at the graduation

My father at the graduation

A drawing of my father

A drwing of my mother, sans wig

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Whilst looking for the above photographs, I also came across a silhouette of myself cut by S John Ross, the chap I wrote about in Bytes not that long ago.

When he cut his silhouettes with a pair of scissors, he spoke to you, all the while looking at you and not at what he was cutting.

This is the silhouette he made of me:

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An email from Leo:

Dave Feherty, CBS GOLF ANNOUNCER  

He said one day, "It would be easier to pick a broken nose, than a winner in that group."
Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer, who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind...(probably always on time delay these days).  

Feherty Quotes:  

"Fortunately, Rory is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body."  

"That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn't find it if it was wrapped in bacon."  

" I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife."  

Jim Furyk's swing "looks like an octopus falling out of a tree." 

Describing VJ Singh's prodigious practice regime - "VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin."   (Thought I was going to hurt myself laughing at this one.)  

"That's a great shot with that swing."  

"It's OK - the bunker stopped it."  

At Augusta 2011 - "It's just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it." 

"That was a great shot - if they'd have put the pin there today." 

"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."  

"That green appears smaller than a Pygmie's nipple". 

Thanks Leo

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Quote for the day

Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty. One person may even perceive deformity, where another is sensible of beauty; and every individual ought to acquiesce in his own sentiment, without pretending to regulate those of others.

- David Hume (1711-1776)

Scottish historian, philosopher, economist, diplomat and essayist known today especially for his radical philosophical empiricism and skepticism.  In light of Hume's central role in the Scottish Enlightenment, and in the history of Western philosophy, he has been regarded by some as one of the greatest philosophers writing in the English language

Some bonus Hume . . .

Do you remember . . .

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Putting cards on your bicycle wheels

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Her Maj’s photograph was in every class room, usually above the blackboard

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The blue bag, used for adding a blue whitening agent to washing water in the days before boxes and plastic bottles of washing agents, also used to put on bites, cuts, stings

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How mothers and fathers were aghast at the Beatles when they came on the scene in 1962 with “Love Me Do”, especially at the length of their hair, short back and sides being the norm back then.

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Speaking of norms, do you remember Norm, the average Aussie bloke, encouraged to start walking etc by the government Life: Be In It campaign in the late 70’s?

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The Three in One, TV, record player and radio

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Big hair and wigs for women . . .

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. . . and hats for men

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‘Men only’ public bars at the pubs

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The family watching TV together in the evenings

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Bob Dyer’s BP Pick a Box, with superbrain Barry Jones

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Prop-up clotheslines, unless you had the multipurpose Hills Hoist . . .

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Holden cars

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Triple fronted brick veneers

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Milk bars

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Corner stores

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Train indicator boards

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The indicator board at Central Station, Sydney, now in the Powerhouse Museum at Ultimo

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The SCG scoreboard 

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Looking forward, looking back 

I’ve come a long way down the track 

Got a long way left to go 

- Lyrics from Slim Dusty's Looking Forward Looking Back 

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Over to you Martin . . .

Quote for the day

"We would prefer to see the Royal Opera House run by a philistine with the requisite financial acumen than by the succession of opera and ballet lovers who have brought a great and valuable institution to its knees."

- Select Committee Report into the Royal Opera House, 1997

Royal Opera House, Covent Garden, London

Pulitzer and World Press Photographs of the Year: 1978

Caution: Disturbing images

The Pulitzer and World Press Photos of the Year, continued: 

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Between 1942 and 1967 a Pulitzer Prize for Photography was awarded for photojournalism, that is, for photographs telling a news story. In 1968 that award was replaced by awards in two new categories:

· the Pulitzer Prize for Spot News Photography (photography in the nature of breaking news, as it has been called since 2000); and

· the Pulitzer Prize for Feature Photography (human interest and matters associated with new items).

From1955 World Press Photo has awarded prizes for the best photographs in 10 categories, with an overall award for the image that "... is not only the photojournalistic encapsulation of the year, but represents an issue, situation or event of great journalistic importance, and does so in a way that demonstrates an outstanding level of visual perception and creativity".

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Pulitzer Prize for Spot News Photography, 1978:

Photographer: 

John H Blair, a special assignment photographer for United Press International

Photograph: 

A photograph of Tony Kiritsis holding an Indianapolis broker hostage at gunpoint.

The Story:

Tony Kiritsis (1932-2005) was convinced that his mortgage broker, Richard Hall, was after his property when Hall and his father refused Kiritsis extra time to pay mortgage arrears. The property had substantially increase in value and would be sold at a great profit.

In February 1977 Kiritsis went to Hall’s office and took Hall hostage. He wired a sawed off shotgun to Hall’s head using a “dead man’s line”, whereby the wire was secured to the trigger and to Hall’s neck. The effect was that if Kiritsis was shot or if Hall tried to escape, the shotgun would be discharged. The police gave Kiritsis room and he hijacked a police car, taking Hall to his apartment where he held Hall in a 63 hour siege. Kiritsis spoke to news media during the siege. After two days, Kiritsis called a press conference. Standing on the steps of his apartment building, still with hall secured by a wire connected to the shotgun, Kiritsis gave a speech that frequently became emotional, so much so that the television station broadcasting it live cut the feed, believing that Kiritsis would shoot Hall. However, Kiritsis released Hall and fired the shotgun into the air to prove it was loaded. He was arrested and found not guilty by reason of insanity. Kiritsis was released from a mental institution in January 1988, after the state could not prove he was still a danger to society. He died in 2005.

The Photograph:

Blair was sent by United Press International to cover the kidnapping and siege. His Pulitzer winning photograph was taken whilst Kiritsis gave his speech on the steps of the apartment building. Blair was there for the entire siege. When Kiritsis came out with Hall, they were so close to that Blair could have reached out and touched the shotgun. They stopped in front of him and there was a moment when hall closed his eyes, possibly in shock or prayer. That is the photographic moment that earned Blair the Pulitzer.

The judges of the award initially credited another photographer with the award but Blair felt that the photograph was his. Careful checking of the negatives revealed that the photograph had indeed been taken by Blair. The first photographer was asked to hand back the award and the money.

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Pulitzer Prize for Feature Photography, 1978

Photographer: 

J Ross Baughman, Associated Press

Photograph: 

"for three photographs from guerrilla areas in Rhodesia."

A Rhodesian soldier questioning villagers near the border of Botswana in the fall of 1977. Taken for Associated Press. First of three photos that were awarded a 1978 Pulitzer Prize.

A prisoner taken by Rhodesian Security Forces in the fall of 1977 stands with a rope around his neck. Taken for Associated Press. Second of three photos that were awarded a 1978 Pulitzer Prize.

A Rhodesian Security Forces soldier swings a bat in front of a beaten prisoner in the fall of 1977. Taken for Associated Press. Third of three photos that were awarded a 1978 Pulitzer Prize.

The Story:

Baughman was covering the Rhodesian Bush war (the civil war that took place from July 1964 to December 1979 in the unrecognised country of Rhodesia) when he took the Pulitzer award winning photographs showing troops brutalising their prisoners.

Baughman had obtained permission to accompany Grey’s Scouts, a Rhodesian Security Forces mounted infantry unit established in 1975 to combat nationalist guerrilla forces. Their job was to seek out anti-government guerrillas and destroy them. Obliged to ride a horse, wear a Scouts uniform and to be armed, he photographed what he saw, only to have his films confiscated by Rhodesian government officials. He was able to hide several rolls and smuggle them out of the country, the award winning photographs being part of those films. At age 23, he is the youngest professional to win a journalism Pulitzer.

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World Press Photograph of the Year, 1978

Photographer: 

Sadayuki Mikami

Photograph: 

Narita International Airport

About:

A demonstrator is engulfed in flames of the molotov cocktail he was about to throw at the police during protests against the construction of the New Tokyo International Airport. The original Narita Airport plan was unveiled in 1966. To acquire the initial land, the government had to evict protesting landowners. Violent clashes between the opponents and authorities resulted in 13 deaths, including five police officers. The new airport opened in May 1978.

Quote for the day

“It's not that we spend five days looking forward to just two. It's that most people do what they enjoy most on those two days. Imagine living a life where everyday are your Saturdays and Sundays. Make everyday your weekend. Make everyday a play-day…” 

- James A Murphy

Funny Friday

Caution: risqué content and language below

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Old joke:

Yianni is talking to his friend in Greece.

“Look at my house," says Yianni. “I build that house with my own hands. I go in mountains, bring down stones, make the house. But you think they call me ‘Yianni the House Builder?’ No!”

“You see my fishing boat? I make that with my bare hands. I cut down the trees, make timber, use timber to make boat. You think they call me ‘Yianni the Boat Maker?’ No!”

“But fuck one goat . . .”

This is by way of introduction to A Great Moment in Australian Racing History.

In April 2015 jockey Blake Shinn was riding at Canterbury (NSW) and came second in one of his races.

Blake would be justified in saying “I won the 2008 Melbourne Cup. Am I famous because of that? No! I am one of Australia’s leading jockeys. Am I famous for that? No! But lose the elastic in your trousers in a race just once . . .”

Despite the wardrobe malfunction being a bit of a bummer for Blake and making him the butt of a lot of jokes, evening going viral, Blake managed the second place, on Miss Royale, ahead of third placed horse Modesty and behind first placed horse Defender, ridden by Tommy Berry. According to Berry, “What a great race to win. It meant I was the only one that didn't have to stare at Blake's arse the whole way up the straight.”

See film of the ride by clicking on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE0SiX0VLNY

Which gives us our theme for this Funny Friday: jockeys.

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Four jockeys are on their way home from the Golden Slipper when the car they are travelling in is hit by a truck. The car bursts in flames and they all die.

One of the jockey's trainers is informed that his jockey has been killed and he needs to go down to the morgue to try and identify him - he is warned that all four jockeys are very badly burnt and hardly rocognisable.  

Inside the morgue, they pull back the sheet on the first body.

"No, thats not him," said the trainer.

They pull back the sheet on the second.

"Nope, thats not him."

The third.

"No, that aint him either."

After pulling back the sheet on the fourth and final body, the trainer says "yep, that's the bastard."

The mortician said, "That's amazing.  These bodies are burnt to a crisp and yet you have identified your jockey just like that, how?"

And the trainer said, "He has been my jockey for 3 years.....and he's never been in the first three."

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A jockey was riding the favourite at a race meeting, and was well ahead of the field. 

His horse rounded the final corner, when suddenly the jockey was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. 

He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.

With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted, he succeeded in coming only second.

He immediately went to the race stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered...

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I remember training horses for the Earl of Derby, who was very anti drugs. On the day of a big race he caught me putting something in a horse's mouth.

"Smith, what are you doing there?" he barked.

"It's just a glucose sweet your honour, here try one if you like" and in so saying, took two from my pocket and averting suspicion, sucked one myself.

A little later when talking to the jockey I said, "Hold him til three furlongs out and then let him go. If anything passes you after that, it will either be me or the Earl of Derby."

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That's the last time I wear jockey shorts. They've been riding up my bum all day.

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A young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend make the decision to get married. 

Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week. 

The marriage goes without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon. 

While checking in at their hotel, the lady behind the desk asks “We have two suites available for you, would you like the bridal?” 

“No thanks,” says the jockey, “I'll just hold her ears till she gets the hang of it!”

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A leading jockey was given an eye test and was presented with a new pair of glasses. The optician said they would cost $450. 

"Too much!" cried the jockey. "They're bi-focal" said the optician. 

"I don't care if they're by Phar Lap. It's too much." 

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A young boy told his mother that his father had taken him to the zoo. 

The mother couldn't believe it. She said, "Your father has never taken anyone to the zoo in his whole life." 

The boy said, "He did, and one of the animals paid fifty dollars!" 

Corn Corner:

After winning a race, a jockey was found to have given his animal drugs, and was disqualified.

I bet that took him off his high horse.

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Paddy: "I went for a job as a jockey today."

Mick: "And how did you get on?"

Paddy: "Put a foot in the stirrups, then hauled myself up."