Tuesday, July 31, 2018
As usual, Brett B has sent me a list of the coming month's special days. Thanks Brett. Here is the list, click on the underlined ones to open the links . . .
And a word from Steve M . . .
Have you ever done a segment on Lexophiles?
"Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."
There is an annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I changed my iPad's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
. . . and the winner is:
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
Thanks Steve. 😃
Monday, July 30, 2018
Woman shares photo of herself in a swimsuit to warn others to 'try before you buy' - so can YOU see what's wrong with it?
By FEMAIL REPORTER FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA
A shopper has shared an unfortunate photo of her trying on a swimsuit in a bid to warn others to 'try before you buy.' The $30 H&M swimsuit covered in palm trees left the woman from the Philippines with an unfortunate black patch over her crotch. Observers picked up on the mishap as soon as she shared the photo online. One commenter said: 'There's a bush in the trees.'\\
The $30 H&M swimsuit covered in palm trees left the woman, from the Philippines, with an unfortunate black patch over her crotch.
Another said: 'Aren't you supposed to trim up before you wear a bathing suit?' And a third joked: 'Keeping it au naturel... nothing wrong with that!'
The shopper, who asked not to be named, told FEMAIL: 'Whenever I try something on, I always get 2-3 pieces of the same thing, same size because in H&M the position of the prints for the clothes are always different. Some look prettier than others. She added: 'I was originally drawn to it because the print looked pretty, but then there's that one detail that ruined the swimsuit.' FEMAIL has contacted H&M for comment.
It comes after a series of hilarious images compiled by BoredPanda showed not-so savvy shoppers and their biggest clothing blunders.
A hilarious selection of images has revealed some of the world's worst clothing fails including this awkward Leaning Tower of Pisa print which appears rather phallic:
This slogan was clearly meant to read 'Don't Worry Be Happy', however poor word placement makes it appear a rather more pessimistic message.
This heavy metal t-shirt is rather contradictory to the soft-spoken artist it is promoting.
Unfortunately placed patterns bear a resemblance to something far ruder much to the wearers horror. In one case a Leaning Tower of Pisa pattern sits awkwardly on the crotch of the wearer appearing to represent something more phallic. In other instances a somewhat splotchy pattern leaves the wearer looking as though they are a victim of an unfortunate accident. Poor typography has also left shoppers open to awkward fashion fails, with poorly positioned wording coming off as either confusing or extremely offensive.
These socks are adorable before they actually make their way onto your feet where they look a little less cute.
It would be ill-advised for anyone to wear this hoodie out in public as the pattern resembles an anti-semitic message.
Unfortunately, due to the angle of this photo, this woman appears to be encouraging others to take part in a sexual act rather than an specialty brew.
This rather unfortunate printed t-shirt includes every last detail of the photo used - including the image file name.
As it was a cold day, this man decided to layer up, however, it seems that Buddy the Elf was keen to make his escape
The print on these Where's Wally leggings sees the characters hand emerge from somewhere it really shouldn't.
Viewers compared the pocket design on this news reader's top to a pair of breasts.
These shorts are unlikely to fly off the shelves thanks to the rather unfortunate floral pattern on the crotch.
A mother had been wearing this tropical print vest completely unaware of the nude woman hidden among the hibiscus flowers.
Just two hours before his Christmas party this employee noticed that the unicorn on his sweater is rather well endowed.
The sloth on this pair of shorts has decided to take shelter in a rather intimate area.
These boxers were supposed to read '100% Animal' but as luck would have it, they say something a little more suggestive.
The positioning of the flower on this dress resembles a rather intimate part of the anatomy.
This man named Brodie Jonas received this t-shirt from his well-meaning grandmother.
It seems that this woman is completely oblivious to the fact that her dress looks as though she has had a terrible accident.
The flesh coloured love heart design on these leggings appear rather gruesome pattern choice.
While the jumper is meant to read 'Saturday' the woman's posing position makes it look like something less savoury .
Thanks to the unusual design on his t-shirt this man looks as though he is a fan of over size underwear.
Due to the poor layout of this slogan it seems to give out a rather negative message to shoppers.
Unfortunately, due to the angle of this photo, a 'Canada' slogan top appears to read as something less tasteful.
This vest top was intended to say 'Wild heart' however a busy design makes it look more like 'Will fart’.
This cheeky gnome seems to have made himself at home in a particularly intimate area of these leggings.
What is it:
Kleenex is a brand name for a variety of paper-based products such as facial tissue, bathroom tissue, paper towels, tampons, and nappies (diapers, for US readers). Often used informally as a genericized trademark for facial tissue in the United States, the name Kleenex is a registered trademark of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc.
Kimberly, Clark and Co. was founded in 1872 in Wisconsin. The group's first business was operating paper mills, which the collective expanded throughout the following decades. The company developed cellu-cotton in 1914, a cotton substitute used by the U.S. Army as surgical cotton during World War I. Army nurses used cellu-cotton pads as disposable sanitary napkins, and six years later the company introduced Kotex, the first disposable feminine hygiene product.
Kleenex, a disposable handkerchief, followed in 1924 and was made from the same material. Originally marketed as an effective way to remove cold cream, the first Kleenex ads, placed in magazines in 1925, exclaimed that the product was, "the new secret of keeping a pretty skin as used by famous movie stars."
The company originally rejected the idea of marketing them as a disposable alternative to handkerchiefs after their head researcher first made the suggestion. Nonetheless they decided to dedicate a small bit of ad space to the marketing concept and by the 1930’s the idea was popular enough that their main advertising slogan was “Don’t Carry a Cold in Your Pocket.”
When a product becomes so well known or achieves such market dominance that that type of product generally becomes known by the trade name, it is said that the trademark has become genericized. As a result the trademark protection may be lost in some countries. Examples include: Thermos, Kleenex, ChapStick, Aspirin, Dumpster, Band-Aid, Velcro, Hoover, and Speedo.
n the USA, the Kleenex name has become—in common usage but not in law—genericized: the popularity of the product has led to the use of its name to refer to any facial tissue, regardless of the brand. Many dictionaries, including Merriam-Webster and Oxford, now include definitions in their publications defining it as such.
Some vintage ads:
What is it:
Vaseline is a brand of petroleum jelly-based products owned by Anglo-Dutch company Unilever. Products include plain petroleum jelly and a selection of skin creams, soaps, lotions, cleansers, and deodorants.
In 1859, Robert Chesebrough went to the oil fields in Titusville, Pennsylvania, and learned of a residue called "rod wax" that had to be periodically removed from oil rig pumps. The oil workers had been using the substance to heal cuts and burns. Chesebrough took samples of the rod wax back to Brooklyn, extracted the usable petroleum jelly, and began manufacturing the medicinal product he called Vaseline.
Vaseline was made by the Chesebrough Manufacturing Company until the company was purchased by Unilever in 1987.
The name "vaseline" is said by the manufacturer to be derived from German Wasser "water" + Greek elaion "olive oil".
Cheeseborough believed so strongly in the health benefits of Vaseline that he swallowed a spoonful each day until his death at age 96.
Some ads . . .
What is it:
WD-40 is the trademark name of a penetrating oil and water-displacing spray. The spray is manufactured by the WD-40 Company based in San Diego, California.
The invention of WD-40 has been credited to either Iver Norman Lawson or Norman Larsen. The spray, composed of various hydrocarbons, was originally designed to be used to protect the outer skin of the Atlas missile from rust and corrosion. In other words, don’t let your nukes get rusty. The name "WD-40" is abbreviated from the term "Water Displacement, 40th formula", being the result of the 40th attempt to create the product.
Iver Norman Lawson came up with the water-displacing mixture after working at home, and turned it over to the Rocket Chemical Company for the sum of $500, which today (2018) is about $4,600. It was Norman Larsen, president of the company, who had the idea of packaging it in aerosol cans and marketed it in this way.
WD-40 was later found to have many household uses and was made available to consumers in San Diego in 1958. The idea for this came after the company owners realised employees were sneaking cans of the product out of the building to use around the home.