THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

ON THIS DAY

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April 19, 1770:

Captain Cook sights Australia

On this day in 1770 British explorer Captain James Cook first sights Australia. Writes in his log book that “what we have as yet seen of this land appears rather low, and not very hilly, the face of the Country green and Woody, but the Sea shore is all a white Sand.”

The first European record of setting foot in Australia was Dutch navigator Willem Janszoon in 1606 — his was the first of 29 Dutch voyages to Australia in the 17th century. Cook wasn't even the first Englishman to arrive here — William Dampier set foot on the peninsula that now bears his name, north of Broome, in 1688.

Cook named the land he encountered New South Wales in an effort to counter any Dutch interest in what they had long called New Holland. The name Australia was popularised by Matthew Flinders following his circumnavigation of the continent in 1803.

The main reason for Cook’s first voyage to the Pacific was to observe Venus moving across the face of the Sun from Tahiti, part of a European effort to work out the size of the solar system. In Tahiti he opened an envelope with secret orders to search for an unknown continent, to try and discover the existence of Terra Australis Incognita — the 'great unknown southern land'."

After mapping the complete coastline of New Zealand, making only some minor errors. Cook voyaged west, reaching the southeastern coast of Australia near today's Point Hicks on 19 April 1770. In doing so his expedition became the first recorded Europeans to have encountered its eastern coastline.

Endeavour continued northwards along the coastline, keeping the land in sight with Cook charting and naming landmarks as he went. On 29 April, Cook and crew made their first landfall on the continent at a beach now known as Silver Beach on Botany Bay. Two Gweagal men of the Dharawal / Eora nation opposed their landing and in the confrontation one of them was shot and wounded, setting in motion white / indigenous relations for the next 250 years,

Cook landing at Botany Bay

Cook claims the entire coastline that he had explored as British territory.

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FROM THE VAULT

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From Bytes, April 13, 2017

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Vintage Easter Cards . . . 

They had some peculiar ways in the past as to viewing Easter in their cards, see below.

My comments added.

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Either those bunny midwives are midgets or the chick coming out of the egg is giant. Either way the interspecies thing is a bit weird.

Mega creepy and not sure what the disembodied heads in flowers have to do with Easter.

There’s a large collection of Easter cards that have little girls’ heads in flowers (why never any boys???) so I’ll end that series here. Often times the same face is in different flowers, one looking up and smiling, one looking down and serious.

Nothing says Easter more than a rabbit holding a skillet whilst a hen lays an egg into it with one of her young chicks watching. “No, Mummy!! That’s my brother or sister!”

You know how in The Simpsons the fish in the river near the Springfield nuclear power plant have 3 eyes and two heads? Well, meet the dancing Easter bunnies from Chernobyl.

“Does my bum look big in this shell?”

Easter, the time when young girls dress provocatively, boys dress as clowns and we all celebrate the birth of a giant chicken. Boy, back then they sure got the message of Easter.

A weary traveller chicken refreshes with a beer at an outdoor liquor sales trestle whilst others carouse nearby. It must be Easter.

Is there anything about this card that strikes you as odd? Yep, the “A” in “A Happy Easter” is lower case.

“Aw c’mon, it’s Easter.”

The words are in German and mean “A Happy Easter”. If anyone can come up with an inappropriate Easter card, it would have to be the Germans. Let’s be clear, though. The rabbit isn’t going out to kill something, it’s standing guard, as indicated by the sentry box behind it. So if it’s guarding the eggs, this is . . .the Easter Bunny!

A captured rabbit performs in Chicken Circus.

What a load of cobblers. Chickens don’t hatch out of eggs like that!

A great card to send to children. Or is it the cover of a Stephen King book?

A companion card to the one earlier. Note that is a personal longhand note on the bottom right, indicating someone actually sent this.

Another Easter card featuring genetic mutations. This is the Egghead family.

Not many people realise that the Easter Bunny is actually quite militaristic and that he doesn’t take crap from anybody.

Two adorable young girls getting more baby chicken skins for more coats. It’s like Silence of the Lambs meets Easter.

At least they took the Easter Bunny prisoner instead of shooting him but who knows whether rabbit stew was on the menu that night.

Just too creepy for words, especially ghost dad top right

Why is the bunny bleeding? Put the bunny back in the box.

“I knew I’d catch you sooner or later with these dummy eggs, you SOB! “ The good ol’ Germs again.

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Although, future generations may well be looking at us and our cards in the same fashion . . .

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

ON THIS DAY

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April 18, 1956

Grace Kelly weds Prince Ranier of Monaco

Abandoning her Hollywood career, American actress Grace Kelly wed Rainier III in a civil ceremony; an opulent religious ceremony took place the following day.

The wedding took place on 18 and 19 April 1956 at the Prince's Palace of Monaco and the Saint Nicholas Cathedral. The groom was the sovereign prince of the Principality of Monaco. The bride was an American film star.

The wedding was watched by over 30 million viewers on live television, broadcast by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, along with 9 television networks broadcasting to Télé Monte-Carlo via Eurovision. The marriage was met with mass attention from the public, described as the "wedding of the century" and the "world's most anticipated wedding" by the media, as well as "the first modern event to generate media overkill" by biographer Robert Lacey.

Grace and Rainier had three children: Princess Caroline, Prince Albert, and Princess Stéphanie. Princess Grace's charity work focused on young children and the arts.

She died at the age of 52 at Monaco Hospital, from injuries sustained in a car crash. Her son, Prince Albert, helped establish the Princess Grace Awards in 1984 to recognise emerging performers in film, theatre, and dance.

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FUNNY FRIDAY

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Happy Easter Byters.

A few Easter jokes to get things rolling.

Caution: risqué content ahead.

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SOME HUMOUR:

__________

Wife: "What are your plans for Easter?"

Husband: "Same as Jesus."

Wife: "What do you mean?"

Husband: "I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday."

Wife: "Awesome, if you do that I'll do the same as Mary."

Husband: "What do you mean?"

Wife: "Show up pregnant, untouched by my husband"

Husband stayed home all Easter.

____________

Jesus was born on Christmas, died on Good Friday and rose on Easter.

What are the odds?!?!

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I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny.

I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you."

He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did he eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own fucking business."

____________

At the Easter morning services the pastor of the Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit around him.

He said "Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful. Today we're going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what the resurrection is?"

One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said "Please tell us what the resurrection is".

The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice "When you get one lasting more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!"

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Jesus is hanging on the cross.

There’s a big loud crowd gathered when he’s heard weakly calling for Matthew. Matthew rushes toward the cross but is brutally beaten back by the Roman soldiers guarding it.

He runs around to the far side and tries again.

Again he’s beaten back.

Finally after several more attempts a beaten and bloody Matthew makes it to the cross.

“Yes lord what do you have to tell me”

Jesus replies “I can see your house from up here”

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Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbours were Catholic.... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.....and as the Priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said,

"You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbours were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighbourhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbours, and as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat as he chanted:

"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

____________

Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly , they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the Pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?"

"You mean JC?", responds the alien. "Yeah, we know him! He's the greatest, isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok".

Surprised, the Pope follows up with: "He visits every year?! It's been over two millennia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"

The alien sees that the Pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize. "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?"

The Pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"

The alien says "Yeah, when he first visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys do?"

____________

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship. The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptised them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

Famous poem rewritten as a limerick . . .

I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud

There once was a poet named Will

Who tramped his way over a hill

And was speechless for hours

Over some stupid flowers

This was years before TV, but still.

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GALLERY:

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CORN CORNER:

__________

Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't get any eggs for easter.

His secretary asked him: "Does this mean you hate easter now?"

He said: "Nah. I still love easter baby".

____________

When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

____________

I spent $300 on a limo and just found out the fee doesn't include a driver.

I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

____________

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise',

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?' The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise'

'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck by mistake'

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QUOTE FOR THE DAY

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. 

- Bertrand Russell

Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970) was a British philosopher, logician, mathematician, and public intellectual. He had influence on mathematics, logic, set theory, and various areas of analytic philosophy.

ON THIS DAY

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April 17, 1961

Bay of Pigs invasion

The Bay of Pigs Invasion was a failed military landing operation on this day in 1961 on the southwestern coast of Cuba by the United States of America and the Cuban Democratic Revolutionary Front (DRF), consisting of Cuban exiles who opposed Fidel Castro's Cuban Revolution, clandestinely and directly financed by the U.S. government. The operation took place at the height of the Cold War, and its failure influenced relations between Cuba, the United States, and the Soviet Union.

In 1952, the American-allied dictator General Fulgencio Batista led a coup against President Carlos Prío and forced Prío into exile in Miami, Florida. Prío's exile inspired Castro's 26th of July Movement against Batista. The movement succeeded in overthrowing Batista during the Cuban Revolution in January 1959. Castro nationalised American businesses, including banks, oil refineries, and sugar and coffee plantations.

By early 1960, President Eisenhower had begun contemplating ways to remove Castro, in the hopes that he might be replaced by a Cuban government-in-exile, though none existed at the time. In accordance with this goal, Eisenhower eventually approved Richard Bissell's plan which included training the paramilitary force that would later be used in the Bay of Pigs Invasion. Alongside covert operations, the U.S. also began its embargo of the island. This led Castro to reach out to its Cold War rival, the Soviet Union, after which the US severed diplomatic relations.

Cuban exiles who had moved to the U.S. following Castro's takeover had formed the counter-revolutionary military unit Brigade 2506, which was the armed wing of the DRF. The CIA funded the brigade, which also included approximately 60 members of the Alabama Air National Guard, and trained the unit in Guatemala.

Over 1,400 paramilitaries, divided into five infantry battalions and one paratrooper battalion, assembled and launched from Guatemala and Nicaragua by boat on 17 April 1961. Two days earlier, eight CIA-supplied B-26 bombers had attacked Cuban airfields and then returned to the U.S. On the night of 17 April, the main invasion force landed on the beach at Playa Girón in the Bay of Pigs, where it overwhelmed a local revolutionary militia. Initially, José Ramón Fernández led the Cuban Revolutionary Army counter-offensive; later, Castro took personal control.

As the invasion force lost the strategic initiative, the international community found out about the invasion, and U.S. President John F. Kennedy decided to withhold further air support. The plan, devised during Eisenhower's presidency, had required the involvement of U.S. air and naval forces. Without further air support, the invasion was being conducted with fewer forces than the CIA had deemed necessary. The invading force was defeated within three days by the Cuban Revolutionary Armed Forces and surrendered on 20 April. Most of the surrendered counter-revolutionary troops were publicly interrogated and put into Cuban prisons with further prosecution.

The invasion was a U.S. foreign policy failure. The Cuban government's victory solidified Castro's role as a national hero and widened the political division between the two formerly allied countries, as well as emboldened other Latin American groups to undermine U.S. influence in the region. It also pushed Cuba closer to the Soviet Union, setting the stage for the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962.

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READER CONTRIBUTIONS

Thanks to John P and Vince C for the following . . .

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