Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Thought for the Day

Still More Moments of Australian Television


Molly Meldrum messes up in front of Prince Charles: 

Back in 1977, Prince Charles was touring Oz as part of a celebration of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee. Ian “Molly” Meldrum, the host of the ABC’s music show Countdown, had the honour of interviewing the young Prince on the show but kept flubbing his lines, even to the extent of muttering the F word under his breath a few times and declaring that he was “sweating like a pig”. The harder he tried, the more he screwed it up and the tenser he became. At one stage during the interview the nervous Meldrum said to Charles “I saw your mum in London!” to which Charles coldly replied “Are you referring to Her Majesty the Queen?” 

Fast forward to 2014 when Countdown was celebrating its 40th birthday. Prince Charles recorded a video message of congratulations in which he royally roasted Molly, including such bon mots as: 

“There is an old show business saying which warns never to work with animals or children but nobody prepared me for Molly Meldrum.” 

"I certainly learned some, um, interesting new Australian words from Mr Meldrum, and if he could have read my mind he could have learned some interesting new English words from me." 

See Prince Charles roast and Molly’s blunders by clicking on: 

(I haven’t been able to locate the Her Majesty reference clip). 

The Chk Chk Boom Girl: 

Clare Weberloff became known as the Chk Chk Boom girl after telling reporters what she had witnessed at a shooting outside a Kings Cross nightclub in Australia. The trouble was that she had not seen anything, she had made it all up. It remains a classic eyewitness interview. 
“This morning, my friends and I came out of a tattoo parlour and there were these two wogs fighting. And the fatter wog said to the skinnier wog, ‘Oi bro, you slept with my cousin, eh?’ And the other one said, ‘No man, I didn't for shit, eh!’ And the other one goes, ‘I'll call on my fully sik boyz, eh!’ And then he pulled out a gun and went CHK CHK BOOM!” 

Clare‘s Chk Chk Boom quickly went viral with the words being printed for sale on T shirts and drinking glasses. She scored herself a TV gig and was the cover of the last edition of men’s mag Ralph. 

"The worst thing was that people accused me of being a racist, which I’m not." 

See it by clicking on: 

Today reels in a duck:

A 2011 episode of breakfast TV show Today went wrong when reporting on a possible shark in a lake. Host Karl Stefanovic invited fishing expert Paul Burt to cast a line, which the expert did, entangling a duck fighting to get away. Said the expert “I’d go to another shot.” Said Karl, by way of understatement, “That didn’t go well.” Mr Sensitivity followed this with “Peking Duck, anyone?" 

A representative for the show said afterwards that the duck was released unharmed but, to quote Mandy Rice Davies, “Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?” 

Click on the link to see it: 

Karl baffles the Dalai Lama: 

Still on the topic of Karl Stefanovic, here is a reprint from a past Bytes of another memorable Oz TV moment . . . 

In 2011 the Dalai Lama was touring Oz. The DL granted interviews to reporters in one on one appointments and, when it was the turn of Today host Karl Stefanovic, Karl decided to tell the DL a joke. Notwithstanding that there were so many things he could have said to, or asked, the spiritual leader, he said to the DL “So the Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop.” The DL’s interpreter dutifully translated this, leaving the DL quite confused. He remains polite and keeps the interview going by saying “Pizza? Ah pizza.” 

Karl continues “'And he says, ‘Can you make me one with everything?’ “ 

As the Dalai Lama looks blankly at him - trying his best to understand what the morning show anchor is telling him - Mr Stefanovic repeats the punchline using hand gestures only to be met with more blank stares. 

After a long and uncomfortable silence, Karl starts hysterically laughing and put his heads in his hands and says: “Oh, I knew it wouldn't work.” 

He later tweeted: 'OK worst gag of the year with best guest short list. Even I am cringing.' 

It made headlines all over the world at Stefanovic’s expense. Cringeworthy. 

See it at: 

Monday, October 15, 2018

The Words of the Prophets

The original was "Keep your friends close and your fries closer",  itself a play on the quote from The Godfather:  "My father taught me many things here — he taught me in this room. He taught me — keep your friends close but your enemies closer."

Thought for the Day

Readers Write


David B:

An email from David B in England in response to my Bytes about the giant chalk figures on the English hillsides: 
Whilst I enjoyed your Bytes Daily on the Giant Hillside Chalk figures, as a proud Yorkshireman I must take issue with your statement that they are only found on the hills of Southern England :-) I attach a photo of the Kilburn White Horse on the flank of Sutton Bank in the North Riding of Yorkshire.

Thanks Dave, I stand corrected.

BTW, here’s a news report from The Guardian from 2007 that refers to the Cerne Abbas Giant mentioned in the earlier Bytes post:

Pagans have promised to conjure some "rain magic" to erase a figure of Homer Simpson which has been painted next to the Cerne Abbas giant in Dorset. 
The figure, representing Homer in his Y-fronts holding up a doughnut, is standing to the left of the chalk giant and his erect penis. The cartoon character was drawn on the hill slope to promote the new Simpsons film, which will be released later this month. He was painted with water-based biodegradable paint that will wash away when it rains. 
"We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind. We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away," said Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation. "I'm amazed they got permission to do something so ridiculous. It's an area of scientific interest," she added. 
Many believe the 180ft giant to be a symbol of ancient spirituality that can aid fertility. Opinions are divided as to the age of the Cerne Abbas giant, with some experts saying that he dates from as recently as the 17th century, while other says he was designed thousands of years ago. 
The giant has previously been used to promote products such as condoms, jeans and bicycles. He receives a full rechalking every 25 years.


Steve M:

Email from Steve M in response to the Funny Friday quickies: 
Honestly Otto, you should be bloody embarrassed and ashamed to attach your name to so many shit jokes, as in today’s Bytes. They are absolute rubbish, the biggest load of crap I have ever read.

Please continue – I just love ‘em! 
Thanks Steve. 

Here’s a couple more Steve to brighten your Monday . . . 

2 things I hate 
1. Lists 
2. Irony 
3. Maths 

A comment on the Royal Wedding not published in the mainstream press 

How do you make a Pirate angry? 
Take the 'P' out of him. 


Steve M:

Another email from Steve M, this one in response to the Moments in Australian Television when I mentioned Michael Parkinson’s interview of Sir Les Patterson . . . 
What a marvellous Bytes today, Otto, thank you!

I particularly enjoyed Sir Les, a man I strive to emulate, but fail miserably – a friend of mine, a fellow Byter - Stephen P from Perth - is the nearest I have ever met to Sir Les in real life. What a man!

I have seen Sir Les (and Dame Edna) and indeed their manager, Barry Humphries several times live (he has not appeared dead yet, but I will buy tickets because he will still be bloody funny) and truly believe that all three of them are genius’s or genii or whatever the plural is... I missed the wistful and charming Sandy Stone from my list – another marvellous character.

The amazing thing about Humphries and his creations is that they cross continents and their humour is lauded throughout the world. Some are disgusted by Sir Les, others are irritated by Dame Edna, but I have never met a person yet who will not acknowledge the craft and skill of Humphries as an entertainer.

Once again, many thanks for yet another wonderful Bytes! 
Thanks Steve. 

Dianne M:

I commented in a post on an amazing house in Brisbane:
It is an amazing house but not my cup of tea, unfortunately. Maybe it’s my Dutch upbringing, the house of my parents in which my brothers and I were raised displayed the influence of my mother. It must be a Dutch thing because the interior of my mother’s house very much resembled the restaurant in the Dutch Shop at Smithfield, even to the heavy carpets used as tablecloths:

Byter Dianne M in Holland can tell us, is the above style of decorating common in Holland, Di? 
The post is at: 

Dianne has sent me an email in response: 
Hi Otto

First loved the wedding photos of your children, so elegant.

Yes , the Dutch shop in Smithfield has the real Dutch furniture , lampshades and the complete interior lampshades and dressing and the clutter but we find it "gezellig " meaning cosy.

My granddaughter and husband were here last year and loved it.

Frilly lace curtains wide open so you can just look inside walking past or at night with the lampshades on with all being in full view. Needless to say, they walked this village all the time or rode the pushbikes just viewing it all. My granddaughter also said it gives open living a secure feeling, like being embraced with the friendliness. To their surprise, she said that people say “Good morning” or “Good afternoon” to us and they don’t even know us.

They loved it here and it will be a repeat visit in the future.

Hope you and your wife are well.

Take care

Thanks Dianne. 

I remember the word “gezellig” (the g’s being pronounced with the guttural “ch” sound) being used a lot when I was young. 

For those interested, the Dutch Shop, aka Holland House, is at 85 Market Street, Smithfield NSW and is well worth a visit, as well as a lunch. Hours are 
Monday: Closed 
Tuesday – Friday: 09:00am – 4:30pm 
Saturday – Sunday: 09:00am – 4:00pm 

There is a review and a lot of pics at: 

Another pic of the restaurant and one of the exterior: