Saturday, April 29, 2017

Quote for the Day



Postcards from NSW, Part 2

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Continuing the post of pics and commentary sent by Leo. 

Additional comments and images by me at the end of items.
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A passenger train in the days of steam power.

Additional comment:

The railway station at North Wollongong today . . .


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Another nice view from those long-gone days of bagged wheat transport.

Additional comment:

Some further images of wheat transportation in the past:

Carting bagged wheat.

Horse and bullock teams queue to deliver bagged wheat to the Forbes storage, 1916

A C class engine and train head out of the station at Forbes, through a canyon formed by bagged wheat stacks.

Large stacks and truckloads of bagged wheat waiting to be shipped from a wharf at Port Wakefield, South Australia.

Unloading and stacking bagged wheat, Forbes

Wheat stacking after trucks replaced horses and carts
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Additional comment:

The above pic came with no comment although the photograph itself has a caption that it is Como Railway Station.

Como is a suburb of Sydney located about 27 kilometres south of the Sydney CBD. The railway station at Como was opened in 1895 and was replaced by a new station in 1972.

The station today

Como Railway Bridge and Railway Station, c1905

The Como Hotel, view showing the original railway bridge and original Como station platform

Fisherman's hut, Como, Georges River c1900-1910

Como Public School in the 1920’s
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Additional comment:

No caption with original photo, the photo itself identifies it as the Armidale Railway Station.

Armidale is located in Northern NSW and is about halfway between Sydney and Brisbane.

The railway station commenced operations in 1883.

I found a copy of the above pic in the State Archives records identifying it as having been taken on 21 December, 1930. It’s interesting that people are journeying on New Year’s Eve during the Great Depression.



Armidale Railway Station today

Recruitment rally, Armidale 1917
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Additional comment:

No comment with the original email but the photograph has a caption “Despatching chaff, Glen Innes”.
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Additional comment:

No comment with the original email but the photograph has a caption “Arrival and departure of teams Moree railway yard”.


Friday, April 28, 2017

Quote for the Day



Funny Friday

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The end of another week, readers, and time for some humour.

Graham E sent me an email about cars (as did Leo M), which is the first item below. It appears below.

I confess that I am a person who cares not about cars and wouldn’t know what was wrong with a car if it didn’t go. I once rang the NRMA and aid “My car won’t go.” The woman at the other end of the line said “What’s wrong with it?” I replied “I don’t know, that’s why I’m in the NRMA.” I am also reminded of a magistrate who, a couple of years ago, said in the middle of technical evidence in a case about a motor: “Go slowly please while I write this down. I don’t know much about these things. I know I have to put petrol into my car and I found out recently that you also have to put water in.”

Enjoy, Byters.

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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX): Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash......... twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 

5. Microsoft or Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 

7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. 

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!
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"I rent a lot of cars, but I don't always know everything about them. So a lot of times, I drive for like ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. It's really not an emergency brake; it's an emergency "make the car smell funny" lever." 

- Mitch Hedberg
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Why company cars are different . . .

1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse. 
2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate. 
3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance. 
4. They can take bumps at twice the speed of private cars. 
5. Oil, battery, tyre pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly so often. 
6. They have a much tighter turning radius. 
7. The floor is shaped like an ashtray. 
8. They only burn the cheapest gas available. 
9. They do not have to be garaged at night. 
10. They can be driven up to 100 miles with the oil warning light on. 
11. They need cleaning less often, especially inside. 
12. The suspension and trunk floor are reinforced to allow concrete slabs and other heavy building materials to be carried. 
13. They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still in forward motion. 
14. The tyre side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs. 
15. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control. 
16. No security is need. They may be left anywhere, unlocked, with the keys in the ignition. 
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I must, of course, include his classic oldie:

A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."

Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.

After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "No, no, that's just ice cream."
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And another oldie . . .

A chap was driving with his 4-year-old daughter in the van and honked his car horn by mistake.

She immediately turned and looked at him with an expectant look on her face.

Seeing her look at him he said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "Oh, yes, I know that, daddy."

He replied, "How did you know?"

The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ARSEHOLE!' afterwards!"
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Gallery:






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Corn Corner:

What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines?
Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.

----------ooOoo----------

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyser.

(This dates from the days when you had to breathe into the tube rather than counting to ten in front of the device.)

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm an asthmatic, very seriously affected. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"Okay, we'll just get a blood sample down at the station."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a haemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."

"Fine then, just step out of the car and walk this white line."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."


Thursday, April 27, 2017

Quote for the Day

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Continuing the We Didn't Start the Fire roll call . . .

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television,
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe
Rosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

Today: Santayana goodbye
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Song Reference:

Santayana goodbye


Jorge Augustín Nicolás Ruiz de Santayana (1863-1952) died in 1952. Wrote 18 books on philosophy. “Love makes us poets and the approach of death makes us philosophers.” - George Santayana
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Quotes:

(Sorry about the use of Comic Sans font, not my doing)

More comic sans

And still more.


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Trivia:

George Santayana (as he is known in English) (1863 – 1952), was a philosopher, essayist, poet, and novelist. Originally from Spain, Santayana was raised and educated in the United States from the age of eight and identified himself as an American, although he always kept a valid Spanish passport. He wrote in English and is generally considered an American man of letters. At the age of forty-eight, Santayana left his position at Harvard and returned to Europe permanently, never to return to the United States. His last wish was to be buried in the Spanish pantheon in Rome.


6 Words




Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Quote of the Day

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Continuing the We Didn't Start the Fire roll call . . . 

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television,
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe
Rosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

Today: Liberace

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Song Reference:

Liberace

Wladziu Valentine Liberace (1919-1987), high camp singer and piano player was given a Los Angeles TV show in 1952 that became so successful it went national in 1953. He famously said about criticism that he cried all the way to the bank. He later revised this to being so successful that he had now bought the bank he used to cry all the way to. 

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Quotes:

Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself.

When the reviews are bad I tell my staff that they can join me as I cry all the way to the bank.

I don't give concerts, I put on a show.

My mother worked in a cookie factory. My father worked in a factory. So anyone that dares begrudge what I have, just better get off their duff and do something about it to do something for themselves as well as their country. I feel that I have a perfect right to spend my money the way I damn please.

Nakedness makes us democratic, adornment makes us individuals.

I don't profess to be a healer, a minister, a priest. I feel as an entertainer I can do more good for the world than I would if I were a soapbox orator or a self-made politician.

You know the bank I used to cry all the way to. I bought it.

My whole trick is to keep the tune well out in front. If I play Tchaikovsky, I play his melodies and skip his spiritual struggle.

You can have either the Resurrection or you can have Liberace. But you can't have both.

Men's clothes are becoming kind of mod. They're becoming more colorful and more flamboyant, and the male peacock is beginning to show his true plumage.

I feel that if entertainment is that important, the media, then it's my duty, not only to mankind but to God, to fulfill the promise that I carry on this work. If someone, for instance, can forget their pains and their ills and their strife by watching any performer then I think this work is worthwhile.

I once was poor myself. I worked to get where I am today and I've worked hard to spend $100,000 a year on my clothes and I've worked hard to earn $3 million a year. I deserve what I get because I worked for it.

I was born and raised during Depression Years when we were on County relief and we all went out and we hustled. We worked. I worked in a restaurant, I washed dishes.

I had to dare a little bit. Who am I kidding - I had to dare a lot. Don’t wear one ring, wear five or six. People ask how I can play with all those rings, and I reply, Very well, thank you.