Cricket

  

In case anyone has missed it, Australia has been playing cricket against England in a series or matches referred to as “The Ashes”. Cricket is a game that was once described by Robin Williams as being similar to baseball on Valium. Devotees will sit for hours watching it, whether at the ground or in front of a box. Non-devotees (and I confess that I am one) feel that it is only marginally better than watching paint dry.

I am, however, interested in some of the terms and facts associated with the game:

• The game is believed to have developed from a children’s game in Saxon or Norman times, possibly from the use of a matted lump of sheep’s wool (or a stone or a small lump of wood) as the ball; a stick or a crook or another farm tool as the bat, and a stool or a tree stump or a gate (e.g., a wicket gate) as the wicket.

Vintage Ads: Blitzkrieg

In the past I have posted vintage ads that have been racist, sexist, weird, creepy, or which inappropriately included children, or sometimes a combination of the foregoing.

Today’s vintage ad embodies all those aspects, plus it is totally inexplicable.

I have tried to find out more about the ad but haven’t had much success beyond the fact that it dates from World War 2.

“Blitzkrieg” is German for “lightning war”, a German military tactic based on speed and surprise, using tanks, infantry, artillery and air power.

The wrongness of the ad is readily apparent, but my queries are

• Even during WW2 and allowing for different cultural perceptions of the time, would such an ad have inspired you to go to Bobb’s Bar?

• What does the ad have to do with promoting a bar?

Weird!

Harwinder Singh Gill

I have previously posted  a story and pics about Dalton Getty, a chap in the US who spends his spare time carving pencil leads into various shapes, objects and people.  This includes having carved the alphabet, one letter per pencil.  Read and see it at:

http://bytesdaily.blogspot.com/2010/07/art-dalton-getty.html

It turns out that Dalton Getty is not the only chap who needs to go out and get a life. 

Indian artist Harwinder Singh Gill has carved a message for 2011 in coloured pencils...

Click on the pic to enlarge.

Still, the good Mr Gill would probably say that I was just as silly writing about it, and he probably has a valid point.

Strange Deaths: Jack Daniel

Jasper Newton "Jack" Daniel (1846 –1911), American distiller and founder of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee whiskey distillery, died from blood poisoning Daniel came to work early one morning and wanted access to his safe. Unfortunately he had always had trouble remembering the combination and this morning was no exception. Finally, in frustration, he kicked it. Big mistake. It injured his toe and caused an infection which eventually killed him.

His last words were "One last drink, please".

The manner of his death was the subject of a marketing poster which used the line "Moral: Never go to work early."

A common joke that is told during the tour of the distillery is that all Jack had to do to cure his infection was to dip his toe in a glass of his own whiskey to clean it.

Ask Otto: Wiki

 Saw your bites re Wikileaks Otto....................

It leads me to an ASK OTTO.

The “leaks” part is obvious, but what is with the “wicki” ?

They’re big, hairy humanoids that walk erect, wear only a bandolier and whose speech sounds like a chair being dragged across a floor. An accurate description was given by Princess Leia when she said about Chewbaca: “Would someone please get this big walking carpet out of my way.”

Oops, sorry, you asked about Wiki, I thought you said Wookie.

Of Gulliver, Stars and Condoms

The new Jack Black movie, Gulliver’s Travels, seems to subtly play up the angle of penile size, at least in the promotional material, notwithstanding that it is aimed at the kids' Christmas holiday market.  Witness the poster above and the one below:

The issue of size in general in GT brought to mind Jonathon Swift’s observation in the original book that "Undoubtedly, philosophers are in the right when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison." Put simply, you cannot judge size except by comparison with other things.

Humour: The Carpet Layer

A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do. Finding them missing from his pocket he begins searching, only to notice a small lump in his recently completed carpet-installation. Not wanting to rip up all that work for a lousy pack of cigarettes he simply walks over and pounds the lump flat. He decides to forego the break and continues on to the other rooms to be carpeted.  At the end of the day he's completed his work and is loading his tools into his trucks when two events occur almost simultaneously: he spies his pack of cigarettes on the dashboard of the truck and the lady of the house calls out "Have you seen my parakeet?"

Bab Katter Snr

From the book Whitlam to Winston by Barry Cohen, a collection of political anecdotes:

A fire-and-brimstone speaker in the House whenever the Labor Party raised his ire, Bob Katter Snr was nevertheless well-liked by his colleagues on both sides of the House. Many of us, however, were surprised when in a Cabinet reshuffle by Sir William McMahon on 2 February 1972 he was appointed Minister for the Army. At about the same time, his wife died. Although I sent him telegrams on both occasions, when I found myself standing next to him in the men’s urinal in parliament House some days later, and not sure whether he had received the telegrams, I decided to raise both matters with him again.

“Bob.” I said, “congratulations again on your appointment and my sincere condolences on your tragic loss.”

Yes.” he sighed, looking wistfully towards the heavens. “It took a bit of the gloss off it.”

Wikileaks

Advertising is always quick to capitalise on current events and personalities, so it should be no surprise that the current Wikileaks controversy has been utilised in advertising by at least one manufacturer.

A Pakistani company named Butterfly that produces feminine hygiene products is running new ads that read “WikiLeaks…Butterfly Doesn’t.” The ad currently appears on two billboards in Karachi, Pakistan’s capital. A print campaign is to begin soon.

Quote: Betrand Russell

“I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill- treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: ’The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that’s fair.’ In these words he epitomized the history of the human race.”

- Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970)

British author, mathematician, & philosopher

Education and the Social Order, 1932

Father Time

Here's to the bright New Year

And a fond farewell to the old;

Here's to the things that are yet to come

And to the memories that we hold.

- Anonymous

A happy new year to all.

What better way to start the new year than with some history, trivia, myth, murder, incest and intrigue.  A lengthy Bytes but hopefully you will find it interesting.

Father Time, aka Old Man Time, is usually depicted as an elderly bearded man, dressed in a robe, carrying a scythe and an hourglass or other timekeeping device. Sometimes he is pictured with an infant or young child, the symbol of the coming new year…

Inappropriate Children's Ads: Du Pont

So, dear Byters, did we all enjoy Christmas lunch? And when it was finished, were the leftovers tucked away in the fridge under Glad Wrap? Wonderful stuff, cling wrap, although a bit of a bastard to put on and take off, especially from a rolled up newspaper.

Before cling wrap there was cellophane, still hugely in use today. It was invented in 1912 by one Jacques E Brandenberger who in 1900 saw red wine spilled on a tablecloth and wanted to come up with a material that repelled such spills, instead of absorbing them. Eventually he got the consistencies and attributes right and named his invention cellophane, from the words cellulose and diaphane ("transparent").

Originally manufactured in France, a manufacturing company was established in the US in 1924. The chemical company Du Pont then spent 3 years on coming up with a means of making the cellophane fully water proof. Whilst the product had been able to hold water, it was nonetheless permeable to water vapour. By 1927 Du Pont succeeded in making the product moisture proof. By 1938, cellophane accounted for 10% of Du Pont's sales and 25% of its profits.

Auld Lang Syne

As you see in the new year in a few days, joining crossed arms in a circle, you will no doubt either sing or hear Auld Lang Syne. It’s the traditional music for the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve.

Some info and trivia:

• It is a Scottish poem written by Robbie Burns (above) in 1788 and put to the melody of an old Scottish folk round.

• “Auld Lang Syne” means “old long since” in the sense of “long, long ago” / ”days gone by”.

• It has been commented that this is the most popular song that no one knows the lyrics to.

• The phrase “auld lang syne” was in use in the Scots language well before the writing of this poem. It has been used by other authors, including the commencement of Scots fairy tales with the words “In the days of auld lang syne…” meaning “Once upon a time…”

Ask Otto

Byter Steve, who suggested an Ask Otto regular feature, has also submitted the first items for that feature.

Steve writes:

Here is my first submission(s) for ASK OTTO. A couple of things that have always interested me, and I would love to know their origins :

Boxing Day? What’s with the “boxing” ?

And talking of boxing :

“seconds out”.....at the start of each round. Does this mean “time is out, so let’s get on with it” or does it mean “assistants out – assistants being the ‘seconds’ that attend to boxers during breaks?

Here are the responses:

Kylie Minogue

I have never been a fan of Kylie Mionogue, who was unkindly referred to in her early recording days as "The Singing Budgie".  I was partial to her duet with Nick Cave in Where the Wild Roses Grow but she never appealed to me otherwise.  Until now.

I caught her appearance on the TV prior to Christmas singing Santa Baby at the Rockefeller Centre.

Not only does she sing it superbly in Marilyn Monroe style, she is also drop dead gorgeous and includes a wonderful acting performance.  Every sideways glance, wink, bump, facial mannerism and hand movement is perfect.

By the way, Marilyn Monroe never sang the breathy version that everyone associates with her.  That version dates from 1997 and was sung by Cynthia Basinet, a recording made for Jack Nicholson.  Basinet says that her version was a tribute to Eartha Kitt and had nothing to do with Marilyn Monroe.  Internet dissemination and wrong atribution has reinforced the Monroe connection.  - 

http://www.cynthiabasinet.com/PRWeb-NoNotMarilyn.htm

See and hear the delightful Kylie version at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uerlr255MAM

The Clink

The expression “the clink” for jail derives from a notorious prison in Southwark England.

The prison, nicknamed the Clink Prison or The Clink for short, eventually gave that name to the area.  It functioned from 1151 until 1780 and was built and owned by the Bishop of Winchester, that person usually being the Chancellor, or the Treasurer, of the King. The prison functioned both as a general prison by virtue of his royal appointments and court functions, and as part of his responsibility for the keeping of the peace of the manor.

The Clink was possibly the oldest men's prison and probably the oldest women's prison in England, women being confined there from 1246. It was used for the detention of religious non-conformists (both Protestant and Catholic), depending upon which faith was in control.

Quote: Lao Tzu

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

- Lazo Tzu (c 6th century BCE)

 

I will be away for a few days and there will be no new Bytes for that period.

 

If you feel deprived by not receiving your emailed Bytes, or if you are loooking for some holiday reading, the past Bytes are archived under the respective months on the right side of the Bytes blog page.

 

To go to that site, either click on the words bytes daily at the top of the emails or click on the following link:

http://www.bytesdaily.blogspot.com/

 

Happy holidays, people.

 

Otto

 

Merry Christmas

(Click on pics to enlarge).

A Merry Christmas to all Byters.

May you have warm words on a cold evening,

a full moon on a dark night,

and the road downhill all the way to your door.

A bit late for me to give you some gift ideas, but these past Christmas advertisements may assist for next Christmas…

The Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and I was wondering what to post for Bytes.

Clement Clarke Moore’s poem “A Visit from St Nicholas”, the well known classic that begins with the words " 'Twas the night before Christmas",  was first published (anonymously) in 1823. Despite his other accomplishments (he was a professor of Oriental and Greek literature, a professor of Biblical learning, the compiler of a two volume Hebrew dictionary and a noted philanthropist), he is today best remembered for that poem.

The poem redefined how people saw Christmas and Santa Claus, not just in the US but worldwide. Before 1823 images of Santa Claus and Christmas varied widely. Moore’s poem introduced and standardised images of Santa’s physical appearance, the night of his visit, his mode of transportation, the number and names of his reindeer and the tradition that he brings toys to children.

There is another poem that begins with the same words and closes with a stanza that is a variation of Moore’s final verse:

Quote:Abraham Lincoln

   

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."

- Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865)

More Sledges and Comments

Rival teams have exploited an Australian side scared to sledge for fear of a backlash from Cricket Australia and the public following the bitter Sydney Test against India in 2008, the players' union said.

Australian coach Tim Nielsen said the toning down of aggression followed the backlash but also a changing of the guard. ''When you are a young guy that has just come into the team you are not going to start sledging opposition players immediately. They have to build up a bit of confidence in their game and their place in the side.''

- News Report, Sydney Morning Herald 22.12.2010

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/marsh-reveals-australia-lost-their-way-after-coolit-order-20101221-194h8.html

Some More Sledging and Commentary Moments:

Caution:  Risque language...

Batsman Darryl Cullinan used to struggle against Shane Warne. The Australian had him on toast in one Test series in South Africa. Two years pass and, in the return series Down Under, Cullinan comes out to bat. Warne says: "I've waited two years for this." Cullinan replies: "Yeah, and it looks like you spent them eating."

Santa

Stephen King, the master of horror and fear, once said that the thing he found most scary was clowns. There is actually a name for fear of clowns: coulrophobia.

If clowns are the most scary, Santa isn’t far behind. This comes within a category known as hagiophobia, the fear of saints and holy things.

To me, it makes good sense. Think about it… little kids being told that there is a bearded old man who is keeping close surveillance on them, putting their names on a list that he checks at the end of the year, and checks not just once but twice. If they have been good, he will sneak into the house and leave gifts under the tree. In some households he is known to sneak into children’s bedrooms and leave the gifts at the foot of the bed. How near to the child has he physically been to do that? Freaky.

As if that’s not enough, look how close the word Santa is to Satan. Like Satan, he wears bright red and, although he is not cloven hoofed himself, his favourite form of transport with the ominous word “sleigh” is drawn by flying, cloven hoofed reindeer.

Reader Comment and The Wedding Night

Byter Steve has suggested that there be a regular Bytes item "Ask Otto" where readers can seek responses to questions asked.

I don't profess to have all the answers, or even to know where to look for answers, but I am willing to follow up any posted queries.

Anyone wanting to do so can email me at:

otto@ottostichter.com.au

And congrats to Steve and his lovely lady Diane on their recent bethrothal.

Which is a good segue to a favourite story with a message for newlyweds...

A couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.

As they undressed for bed, the husband tossed his pants to his bride and said "Here put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right," said the husband, "and don't forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said "Try these on."

He tried them on and could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your knickers."

“That's right,” she replied, “ and that's the way it's going to be until you change your attitude." 

Quote: Galileo Galilei

“I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.”

- Galileo Galilei (1564 – 1642)

Military Replies

Some great replies in military contexts...

Byters who have watched the movies 300 Spartans and 300 will be familiar with one of the shortest and most defiant responses to a call to surrender, that of Leonidas, leader of the Spartans.  Leonidas defended the pass at Thermopylae, holding it against a much larger Persian army.

Envoys sent by the Persian leader called upon Leonidas to surrender, saying “You are fools to resist. The Persian archers alone are so numerous that their arrows will darken the sun.”

"Then we shall fight in the shade” replied Leonidas.

Of History, Dutchmen and Plates...

It is interesting to note the role of the Dutch, the Dutch East India Company and pewter plates in early Australian history.

Following is a chronology of some of those events:

1606:

Two Travellers

A man was walking a very long road from one village to another.

As he approached the village, but still on its outskirts, he encountered a farmer from the village who was labouring in his field, cutting hay. He walked up to the farmer and said, “I have walked a great distance to come to this village of yours. I have left my village looking for a new home, perhaps I will find it in this village. Can you tell me, how are the people in this village? What kind of people are they?”

The man in the field thought a moment before replying, then asked, “What were the people like in the village you came from?”

The traveller replied, “They were uncaring, self-absorbed, cynical and unfriendly. That’s why I left.”

The farmer paused before replying and then said, “I think that’s how you’ll find the people here, too.”

The traveller replied, “In that case, I’ll just move on and look somewhere else.”

A couple of days later, the farmer was again out in his field when a different man approached him and said, “My village was destroyed and the people scattered. I am looking to find myself a new home, perhaps in this village. Can you tell me, how are the people in this village? What kind of people are they?”

The farmer asked, “What were the people like in the village you came from?”

The traveller replied, “They were wonderful people. Loving, close, helpful, and I will miss them terribly.”

The farmer said, “I think that’s how you’ll find the people here, too.”

Swimsuit Pics...

The following pics come from the collections of the State Library of NSW.

They are fascinating glimpses of different times...

(Click on the images to enlarge).

The caption with the pic reads:

Women in bathing suits on Collaroy Beach, 1908, photographed by Colin Caird

Models from left to right: M. Throwden, S. Norris, B. Emery, E. Williams, Ivy Throwden

Oprah Facts

"With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice."

-  Oprah Winfrey

Think about the following next time you're feeling a bit sorry for yourself,,,

- Oprah Winfrey was named Orpah after Ruth’s sister in the Bible, Ruth 1:4:

3. Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons.

4.They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth.

Inability of family members to pronounce the name led to a transposing of the “R”, so that she was called Oprah in everything but her birth certificate.

- She was born in Mississippi to unwed teenage parents. Conceived after a single sexual encounter, her parents split shortly afterwards.

Mona Leo

High magnification techniques of the pupils of the Mona Lisa has revealed letters and numbers, placed there by Leonardo da Vinci. Although the numbers and letters have lost some definition in the 500 years since it was painted, experts believe that amongst the letters are LV, the initials of the artist's name. They have not worked out what the remainder of the letters and numbers designate. The search was initiated after an Italian expert discovered an old book in an antique shop which referred to symbols in the Mona Lisa’s eyes.

Permission is being sought by other experts to exhume da Vinci’s remains from his tomb at Amboise Castle in France’s Loire Valley. It is hoped to locate Da Vinci’s skull and to recreate his face so as to determine whether the hypothesis that the Mona Lisa is actually a self portrait, is correct.

News report, The Daily Mail, 13 December 2010

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1337976/Real-life-Da-Vinci-Code-Tiny-numbers-letters-discovered-Mona-Lisa.html