STOP

One simple sign with a simple 4 letter word, yet so many ways it can inspire graffiti comment, defacing and street art . . .

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Some Canine Random Facts and Trivia

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As a general rule, a better formula for calculating dog years into human years is 21 years for the first year of a dog’s life and 4 years thereafter. This is more accurate than each year than 1 dog year = 7 human years and allows for a puppy growing to adulthood after one year and also corresponds to the other age landmarks of human life. Dogs reach middle age when they're 6 or 7, which works out to 41-45 in human years. Life expectancy for most is 12-15 years (65-77 human years); occasionally one manages to reach age 20 (97 human years);

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Dogs are (were?) often called Fido in that Fido comes from the Latin fidus, faithful, a fitting term for man's a person’s best friend. 

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Disney has always had trouble explaining the discrepancy between dogs Goofy and Pluto. Whereas Pluto is a dog dog who barks and doesn’t wear clothes, Goofy is a human dog who does speak and wear clothes, as do Mickey, Minnie and Donald (although Donald wears a top, not a bottom). We may accept talking mice and ducks, one of whom has a duck uncle wh is the richest being in the world, but we still expect things to make sense.

It reminds me of a joke that I have previously posted:

A motorist is driving past a mental hospital when he gets a flat tyre. He goes out to change the tyre and sees that one of the patients is watching him through the fence. Nervous, trying to work quickly, he jacks up the car, takes off the wheel, puts the lug nuts into the hubcap and steps on the hubcap, sending the lug nuts clattering into a storm drain. The mental patient is still watching him through the fence. The motorist desperately looks into the storm drain but the lug nuts are gone. The patient is still watching. The motorist paces back and forth, trying to think of what to do, when the patient says "Take one lug nut off each of the other wheels and you'll have three lug nuts on each. ‘ "That's brilliant!!!" says the motorist, "What's someone like you doing in an asylum?" “I’m crazy, not stupid” the patient replies.

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Chocolate is the third most common cause of poisoning in dogs. Certain chemicals in chocolate, notably caffeine and theobromine, can cause erratic heartbeat, excessive panting, dehydration, diarrhea, vomiting, muscle tremors, seizures, heart attack or internal bleeding. and in large enough doses can kill your dog, more so if a pup. The second most common cause of canine poisoning (after rat and mouse poison) is ibuprofen, the well-known pain reliever. Dogs apparently love the smell and taste, so they chew through the bottles, eat the contents, vomit and die. Raisins and mushrooms are also a no no.

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in February 1986 during a heated debate in parliament, Wilson “Iron Bar” Tuckey (so nicknamed because he beat an Aboriginal man, who was pinned down, with a length of steel cable) accused Treasurer and later Prime Minister, Paul Keating of breaking a promise of marriage to one Christine, resulting in a breach of promise suit.  An infuriated Keating called Tuckey `You stupid foul-mouthed grub. You piece of criminal garbage.' The uproar that followed received considerable coverage in the media. In 1990, Tuckey again provoked Keating by yelling out the name `Christine', leading Keating to accuse Tuckey of being `a dog returning to his vomit', and accuse John Howard and the Liberals of being `sleazebags' and `scumbags'. 

Paul Keating

Wilson Tuckey

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Creative Ads

We are besieged at all quarters, at all times, by advertising. For the most part, advertising is an annoying distraction, the equivalent of finding a lot of flyers in your mailbox that you immediately throw out. Occasionally there are ads that make us take notice, smile, laugh . . . as an example, a new TV ad has an aerobics instructor rush into a room full of pensioners.  She switches on the ghetto blaster and has them doing pelvic thrusts, twerks etc, followed by the words “Should've gone to Spec Savers” as another old lady enters the room with the items to host bingo. (Btw: How do you make a room full of old ladies say ‘Shit!’? Shout ‘BINGO!’). Some ads rely on creativity to grab attention. Here is a selection . . .

Office products at FedEx Kinkos

The Naval Museum of Alberta

Australia Post - If you really want to touch someone, send them a letter.

Australia Post – Personalise your post

The Fitness Company

Keloptic, a company specialising in the online sale of optical lenses

Keloptic

Orion Telescopes

Pasta

Alka Seltzer for a hangover

Vegetarian restaurant

Have a break, have a Kit Kat

NSW Police Force – Watch for cars when wearing headphones

Schick: A razor so sharp it will even shave the hair off tattoos. 

MTV Networks: Black Ribbon Michael Jackson

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Bonus item:

Should've gone to Spec Savers . . .

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MONDAY MISCELLANY

Some odds, ends and personals.

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Reader comments . . . 

From Sue in respect of the origin of the expression “Jaywalker”:

Again, an American reference from my Dad, the Jay is a common bird that chatters and mobs akin to the noisy minor bird in Australia. They can be a nuisance if they take over a bird-feeder as they scare off other birds. This constant talking was seen to be the mark of a foolish person, who was then called a Jay. The young birds in particular could be distracted by shiny objects, so again an easily duped person was then called a Jay. Their foraging pattern is to skip and jump in apparently random fashion and this (my Dad told me) was why a foolish person who walked across the road in a random easily distracted fashion was a "Jay Walker"

Jays can mimic human and industrial noises and feature in a lot of folk songs and Blues

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/criminality

http://mdc.mo.gov/discover-nature/field-guide/blue-jay

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Jay

http://www.arkive.org/blue-jay/cyanocitta-cristata/video-08b.html

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From Roberta in respect of the post about the loss of family pet Lucy:

Hi guys,

Very beautiful Otto, made me cry!

Have you watched the movie “Dean Spanley”? It’s a wonderful, funny and sad tale about the life of dogs. I you haven’t seen it, I recommend you all watch it together...

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Whilst looking up something on the internet last week, I came across a very simple cartoon/graphic or whateve you woukld call it that struck a responsive chord with me.  I'm a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to computers, I confess that I prefer a paper diary to anything electronic, I prefer paper books to read and I find a pen faster than a computer in making notes.  This is the item I am referring to:

This resulted in some detours on the issue of pencils and a couple of them are printed below.

This is also simple but carries a lot of truth and good advice:

A little bit of risque pencil humour:

An item about pencils that had me laughing was the following news report and a modern day update.

The news report, from 12 December 1998, is as follows:

Slogan Causes Pencil Recall 

A company has recalled a batch of pencils after a fourth-grade student pointed out an embarrassing message that appeared after he sharpened his pencil. The pencils carry the slogan ''Too Cool to Do Drugs.'' But the student noticed that when the pencils are sharpened and get shorter, the message becomes ''Cool to Do Drugs,'' then simply ''Do Drugs.''

As a result of the discovery by Kodi Mosier, a 10-year-old student at Ticonderoga Elementary School, the company, the Bureau for At-Risk Youth, based in Plainview, N.Y., recalled the pencils.  

''We're actually a little embarrassed that we didn't notice that sooner,'' Darlene Clair, a spokeswoman, told The Plattsburgh Press-Republican.  

A new batch of pencils will have the message written in the opposite direction, so when they are sharpened, they will read ''Too Cool To Do'' and finally ''Too Cool.'' 

- New York Times 

http://www.nytimes.com/1998/12/12/nyregion/slogan-causes-pencil-recall.html

The modern update is that a business by the name of brrybnds has re-released the pencils and they can be purchased online:

http://shop.brrybnds.com/product/cool-to-do-drugs-pencil

And a bit of pencil and eraser philosophy to conclude:

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No Bytes this weekend . . ..

What, no Bytes this weekend???

Yes, that's right.  

I'll be away from my computer for a few days but Bytes will return on Monday.

Enjoy Funny Friday below.

Regards

Otto