Thursday, April 5, 2018
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Airport Pranks
Airport pank:
In case you missed it, a story from
news.com at:
I have reprinted it
with pics bur removed a lot of paragraph breaks . . .
Australian couples’
awesome airport pranks
THIS couple has
found a unique way of greeting each other at the airport with embarrassing
signs, turning many heads in the process.
“IT’S so exciting
because we are nervous when we get off the plane as we don’t know how
embarrassed we might be.” Ain’t love
grand! While many find long-distance
relationships challenging, this Australian couple has found a unique way to
lighten things up, and we’re loving it.
Robyn Thomas and her
boyfriend Crin met in December last year and fell for each other very quickly.
While Robyn is located in Brisbane, Crin is in Melbourne, so they’ve been
spending most weekends flying over to see each other. Gruelling and expensive, yes. But worth every
penny, Robyn says. Especially when you get to greet your partner like this:
Yep, this is how
Robyn met Crin when he got off his flight on the weekend, with a huge sign
saying: “Even tho (sic) we’re cousins I still want to get married.” The sign also received quite a lot of
attention from shocked onlookers. “Strangers
looked at us very funny — it’s most awkward for the person holding the sign,”
Robyn told news.com.au. “With this sign, I had to turn around and whisper that
we weren’t actually cousins!”
And don’t worry, her
partner makes sure to return the favour.
“Crin does a sign for me every time I fly into Melbourne — so it’s very
even.”’’
“We had watched
American Pie the weekend before and I made him a greeting sign that said
‘Welcome home from band camp!’ and ever since then it has been a tradition,”
Robyn said.
Here are a few of
the other airport signs the lovebirds have greeted each other with:
• “Welcome home from
Thailand, I hope you enjoy your implants!”
• “Hope you enjoyed
school camp, Daddy missed you!”
• “I hope your anal
colonoscopy went well!’
• “Thank gosh you’re
back, your dad’s been a terrible substitute!”
• “You’re right, you
are bigger than your brother!”
And it appears there
will be many more airport prank signs in their future, with the couple planning
to embark on a round-the-world trip in a few months. “Totally wasn’t expected to fall head over
heals for my brother’s best mate — but the world works in mysterious ways,”
Robyn said of their relationship. “We both want the same things, to travel and
live life to the fullest. I had a round-the-world trip planned before we had
met to depart this year — and we were so crazy about each other that a week
into our relationship he decided to join me on a trip around the world. Next minute, flights were booked and his
passport was ordered and we were going around the world. People think we are
crazy but we figured there is no better way to get to know a person.”
Story: Kate
Schneider
My suggestions for
future signs:
“It’s okay, baby, it
WAS only a rash.”
“Darling, I’m not pregnant
so now you don’t need to leave."
“Robyn - So what if
you love Trump, I still love you.”
________________
Another famous
airport prank:
The story, as told
by the pranksters at:
Having six
hours to kill in any airport is murder. So we decided to liven it
up. Whilst waiting for our flight back to Sydney, we'd go and sit on the
balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow, directly under one of the speakers where the
roof is low for maximum acoustic effects. We put a digital tape recorder
in our bag with the microphone poking out of the top. We'd look for a
flight that had arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where you'd
expect foreign names, then write a letter saying, "Pick up passenger
so and so, from flight etc, destination etc." That way, it looked
like the limo had been arranged in advance as the flight arrival details and
the motel name was written on the note. We wore an
ID-style badge that we'd received at a recent conference so that we'd looked
like limo drivers. One of us would ask airport administration to make an
announcement calling for our passenger and then the other did the second.
We'd pretend to be unable to pronounce it and then hand them the bit of paper
with the name written on it to administration.
Long winded,
but well worth it!
Looks Like
|
Reads Like
|
Arheddis
Varkenjaab and Aywellbe
Fayed
|
I hate this
fucking job, and I will be fired
|
Arhevbin Fayed
and Bybeiev Rhibodie
|
I've just been
fired, and bye-bye everybody
|
Aynayda Pizaqvick
and Malexa Kriest
|
I need a piss
quick, and my legs are crossed
|
Awul
Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda
Zheet
|
Oo-ah, that's
better and now I need a shit
|
Makollig
Jezvahted and
Levdaroum DeBahzted
|
My colleague just
farted, and left the room, the bastard
|
Steelaygot
Maowenbach and Tuka
Piziniztee
|
Still, I got my
own back and took a piss in his tea
|
An hour before
our flight left, the poms had finally caught on. About time. They
actually threatened to arrest us as apparently they'd actually had complaints!
Hear it by
clicking on:
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Monday, April 2, 2018
Anecdote for the Day
A further anecdote about Winston Churchill and Clement Atlee,
being an exchange between them in the men’s room of the House of Commons.
In 1983 the first volume of William Manchester’s multi-volume
biography of Winston Churchill included an instance of the anecdote about
Winston Churchill, the story having been told to Manchester by Sir David
Pitblado in 1980:
Attlee, arriving first, had stepped up to the urinal trough
when Churchill strode in on the same mission, glanced at him, and stood at the
trough as far away from him as possible. Attlee said, “Feeling standoffish
today, are we, Winston?” Churchill said: “That’s right. Every time you see something
big, you want to nationalise it.”
Readers Write and Brett's Monthly
________________
Readers Write . . .
________________
From Graham E, in
response to the trivia item about Greeks creating stone statues and monuments,
called herma, that showed a head of the god on a column and male genitalia part
of the way down the column:
Is the story of the
Greek Gods where the expression getting your rocks off originated?
Thanks, Graham.
________________
Also from Graham E,
in response to the PR fail about #susanalbumparty, where I mentioned that Susan
Boyle had won Britain’s Got Talent:
Susan Boyle did not
win the 2009 BGT, it was won by a dance group called Diversity, she was second.
Thanks, Graham, I
stand corrected.
________________
From Tobye P in
respect of the dam climbing goats:
Hi Otto, so is the
lichen on the dam tastier? Or do they not distinguish between the dam and the
mountains? That is amazing-as is all below!
Thanks for sharing
and enjoy the weekend.
Regards, Tobye
Thanks, Tobye. My understanding is that the goats are mainly
attracted by the salts on the rocks.
________________
From Kara O in
response to the post on Neke Carson and his technique of painting with a brush
up his butt, which he called Rectal Realism:
Oh no Otto
I really wish I
hadn't opened bites today.
At least I can take
satisfaction in the fact that this goes a long way toward proving my personal
theory that a huge proportion of so called 'art' today really is a load of kak,
uitwerpsel, schijt, enz.
Thanks. Kara.
________________
From Charlie Z in
response to the beautiful portraits of women from the 1920s and earlier:
Pretty ladies... all
older than I! And I don’t recall any of them from the movies of my youth! I do
remember Jane Russel in The Outlaw and Marilyn Monroe’s first bit part. I never
have seen Stormy Daniels flicks though!
Keep byting!
Charlie
Thanks, Charlie.
________________
Brett’s Monthly:
As he does every
month. Brett B of the US sent me his list of coming special days for April. Click on the blue ones to open the link . . .
April, 2018 Bizarre and Unique Holidays
Month:
- National Humor Month
- International Guitar Month
- Keep America Beautiful Month
- Lawn and Garden Month
- National Kite Month
- National Poetry Month
- National Pecan Month
- National Welding Month
- Records and Information Management Month
- Stress Awareness Month
- Sexual Assault Awareness Month
Weekly Celebrations:
- Week 1 Library Week
- Week 1 Read a Road Map Week.
- Week 2 Garden Week
- Week 3 Organize Your Files Week
- Week 3 Medical Labs Week
- Week 4 Administrative Assistants Week
- Week 4 National Karaoke Week
April, 2018 Daily Holidays, Special and
Wacky Days:
1 Easter Sunday -
date varies
2 Dyngus Day always the Monday after Easter
3 Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day - we know your
decision
6 .National Walk to Work Day - first Friday of month
6 Plan Your Epitaph Day - a little morbid if you ask
me
7 Caramel Popcorn Day - Most likely created by a
popcorn maker, or an Ecard company.
10 Golfer's
Day
11 Eight Track Tape Day - do you remember those?
12 Big Wind Day - this day blows me away!
13 Blame
Someone Else Day - first Friday the 13th of the year.
13 Scrabble Day
14 Look up at the Sky Day - don't you have anything
better to do?
15 Income Taxes Due (most years, it's on the 15th)
16 Easter Date varies
16 Mushroom Day
16 Patriot's
Day - third Monday of the month
18 International Juggler's Day - also applies to multi
tasking office workers
19 National High Five Day third Thursday
21 Husband Appreciation Day - third Saturday in April
23 Lover's Day
23 National Zucchini Bread Day - they hold this at a
time when you are not sick of all that zucchini.
26 Take Your Daughter to Work 4th Thursday
27 Arbor Day -last Friday of month
28 Kiss Your Mate Day - guys, do not forget this one.
Kiss her, then read her some poetry.
29 Greenery Day
Sunday, April 1, 2018
April Fools' Day
Today is April Fools
Day. There is no prank in my posts so
don’t be concerned.
Here is a history of
some past pranks, courtesy of Wikipedia at :
Television stations:
·
Spaghetti
trees: The BBC television programme Panorama ran a hoax in 1957, purporting to
show the Swiss harvesting spaghetti from trees. They claimed that the despised
pest, the spaghetti weevil, had been eradicated. A large number of people
contacted the BBC wanting to know how to cultivate their own spaghetti trees.
It was, in fact, filmed in St Albans. The editor of Panorama at the time,
Michael Peacock, approved the idea, which was pitched by freelance camera
operator Charles de Jaeger. Peacock told the BBC in 2014 that he gave de Jaeger
a budget of £100. Peacock said the respected Panorama anchorman Richard
Dimbleby knew they were using his authoritativeness to make the joke work. He
said Dimbleby loved the idea and went at it with relish. Decades later CNN
called this broadcast "the biggest hoax that any reputable news
establishment ever pulled".
[See the broadcast by clicking on:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU
Very funny]
· In 1962,
Swedish national television broadcast a 5-minute special on how one could get
colour TV by placing a nylon stocking in front of the TV. A rather in-depth
description on the physics behind the phenomenon was included. Thousands of
people tried it.
·
Smell-o-vision:
In 1965, the BBC purported to conduct a trial of a new technology allowing the
transmission of odour over the airwaves to all viewers. Many viewers reportedly
contacted the BBC to report the trial's success. In 2007, the BBC website
repeated an online version of the hoax, as did Google in 2013, in tribute.
·
In 1969,
the public broadcaster NTS in the Netherlands announced that inspectors with
remote scanners would drive the streets to detect people who had not paid their
radio/TV tax ("kijk en luistergeld" or "omroepbijdrage").
The only way to prevent detection was to wrap the TV/radio in aluminium foil.
The next day all supermarkets were sold out of their aluminium foil, and a
surge of TV/radio taxes were paid.
·
Great
Blue Hill eruption prank: On April 1, 1980, Boston television station WNAC-TV
aired a fake news bulletin at the end of the 6 o'clock news which reported that
Great Blue Hill in Milton, Massachusetts was erupting. The prank resulted in
panic in Milton, where some residents began to flee their homes. The executive
producer of the 6 o'clock news, Homer Cilley, was fired by the station for
"his failure to exercise good news judgment" and for violating the
Federal Communications Commission's rules about showing stock footage without
identifying it as such.
·
In 1989,
on the BBC television sports show Grandstand, a fight broke out between members
of staff directly behind Des Lynam who was commenting on the professionalism of
his team. At the end of the show it was revealed to be an April Fools joke.
·
In 2008,
the BBC reported on a newly discovered colony of flying penguins. An elaborate
video segment was even produced, featuring Terry Jones walking with the
penguins in Antarctica, and following their flight to the Amazon rainforest.
Radio stations:
·
Jovian–Plutonian
gravitational effect: In 1976, British astronomer Sir Patrick Moore told
listeners of BBC Radio 2 that unique alignment of two planets would result in
an upward gravitational pull making people lighter at precisely 9:47 am that
day. He invited his audience to jump in the air and experience "a strange
floating sensation". Dozens of listeners phoned in to say the experiment
had worked, among them a woman who reported that she and her 11 friends were
"wafted from their chairs and orbited gently around the room."
·
Death of
a mayor: In 1998, local WAAF shock jocks Opie and Anthony were discussing April
Fool's Day hoaxes, and sardonically stated that Boston mayor Thomas Menino had
been killed in a car accident. Menino happened to be on a flight at the time,
lending credence to the prank as he could not be reached. The pair repeated
that the mayor was dead several times throughout the broadcast, however
listeners who tuned in late to the broadcast did not hear that they were
repeating a bit, and when they pretended to tell the "news" to an
unsuspecting listener (the listener thought she was calling a different show),
the rumour spread quickly across the city, eventually causing news stations to
issue alerts denying the hoax. The pair were fired shortly thereafter.[
·
In 1998,
UK presenter Nic Tuff of West Midlands radio station pretended to be the
British Prime Minister Tony Blair when he called the then South African
President Nelson Mandela for a chat. It was only at the end of the call when
Nic asked Nelson what he was doing for April Fools' Day that the line went
dead.
·
Canadian
three-dollar coin: In 2008, the CBC Radio program As It Happens interviewed a
Royal Canadian Mint spokesman who broke "news" of plans to replace
the Canadian five-dollar bill with a three-dollar coin. The coin was dubbed a
"threenie", in line with the nicknames of the country's one-dollar
coin ("loonie" due to its depiction of a common loon on the reverse)
and two-dollar coin ("toonie").
·
U2 live
on rooftop in Cork: In 2009, hundreds of U2 fans were duped in an elaborate
prank when they rushed to a shopping centre in Cork believing that the band
were playing a surprise rooftop concert. The prank was organised by Cork radio
station RedFM. The band was a tribute band called U2opia.
·
In 2000,
the Triple J breakfast show hosted by Adam Spencer announced that the
International Olympic Committee had stripped Sydney of its right to host the
2000 Summer Olympics, including a phone conversation with then-New South Wales
Premier Bob Carr.
·
In 1993,
a radio station in San Diego, CA told listeners that the US Space Shuttle had
been diverted to a small, local airport. Over 1,000 people drove to the airport
to see it arrive in the middle of morning rush hour. There was no shuttle
flying that day.
Newspapers and
magazines:
·
Scientific
American columnist Martin Gardner wrote in an April 1975, article that MIT had
invented a new chess computer program that predicted "pawn to queens rook
four" is always the best opening move.
·
In The
Guardian newspaper, in the United Kingdom, on April Fools' Day, 1977, a
fictional mid-ocean state of San Serriffe was created in a seven-page
supplement.
·
A 1985
issue of Sports Illustrated, dated April 1, featured a story by George Plimpton
on a baseball player, Hayden Siddhartha Finch, a New York Mets pitching
prospect who could throw the ball 168 miles per hour (270 km/h) and who had a
number of eccentric quirks, such as playing with one barefoot and one hiking
boot. Plimpton later expanded the piece into a full-length novel on Finch's
life. Sports Illustrated cites the story as one of the more memorable in the
magazine's history.
·
Associated
Press were fooled in 1983 when Joseph Boskin, a professor of history at Boston
University, provided an alternative explanation for the origins of April Fools'
Day. He claimed to have traced the practice to Constantine's period, when a
group of court jesters jocularly told the emperor that jesters could do a
better job of running the empire, and the amused emperor nominated a jester,
Kugel, to be the king for a day. Boskin related how the jester passed an edict
calling for absurdity on that day and the custom became an annual event. Boskin
explained the jester's role as being able to put serious matters into
perspective with humour. An Associated Press article brought this alternative
explanation to public's attention in newspapers, not knowing that Boskin had
invented the entire story as an April Fool's joke itself, and were not made
aware of this until some weeks later.
·
Taco
Liberty Bell: In 1996, Taco Bell took out a full-page advertisement in The New
York Times announcing that they had purchased the Liberty Bell to "reduce
the country's debt" and renamed it the "Taco Liberty Bell". When
asked about the sale, White House press secretary Mike McCurry replied
tongue-in-cheek that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold and would
henceforth be known as the Lincoln- Mercury Memorial.
·
In 2008,
Car and Driver and Automobile Magazine both reported that Toyota had acquired
the rights to the defunct Oldsmobile brand from General Motors and intended to
relaunch it with a line-up of rebadged Toyota SUVs positioned between its
mainline Toyota and luxury Lexus brands.
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