READER CONTRIBUTION: ADVENTURES WITH DAD

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The following item is quite funny and was sent to me by friend Steve M. 

Thanks, Steve.

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A graphic artist living in Germany works from home.

His wife leaves their baby girl with him each day as she goes off to work.

A few months ago, he got tired of her texting to check on how he was doing with the baby. So, he started photo-shopping responses to text back to her, and it has become a world-wide Instagram sensation.

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I read elsewhere that the artist’s name is Kenny Duess, that he has two children and that he created the photos in response to his wife asking to see a picture of the kids to make sure they were OK when he was looking after them.

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Pics sent by Steve . . .

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Here are some more . . .

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

READER CONTRIBUTION: ADS OF YESTERYEAR

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Friend and colleague John F sent me an email with the above title and the below ads.

Thanks John.

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If you think inappropriate advertising was something that happened decades ago or more, I will post some more recent examples in coming days.

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John'semailed pics . . .

I looked this one up and it's a fake.

It was a joke altered from an old Coppertone ad, and later used to vilify Funicello

Here is the original ad, next to the fake . . .

Apparently Yasmin wasn't approved in the US until 2001

I also looked up this one and it's legit.

‘Big Tits Potato Chips’ were made in the 1930's in Dunn, North Carolina. ‘Big Tits was the nickname of Titus Tart, one of the owners in the Tart-Chestnut Co. The image is that of Mr. Tart.’

https://twitter.com/aflashbak/status/1215688186829115392?lang=en

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QUOTE OR THE DAY

 

I READ THE NEWS TODAY, OH BOY. . .

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Delilah Banned:

Choirs have been told they can no longer sing the Tom Jones hit ‘Delilah’ while performing during Wales rugby international matchdays at Cardiff’s Principality Stadium.

The lyrics of the song, an enduring standard for Welsh pop star Jones since it first charted in the late 1960s, include a reference to a woman being murdered by her jealous partner. One line of the song reads: “I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door; she stood there laughing, I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more.”

Wednesday’s announcement came with the Welsh Rugby Union still reeling from allegations of misogyny, sexism, racism and homophobia within the ranks of the governing body. Claims of a “toxic culture” at the WRU were aired in a television documentary last week, resulting in the resignation of chief executive Steve Phillips on Sunday.

The WRU took ‘Delilah’ off its half-time entertainment and music playlist during Test matches in 2015. And now guest choirs have also been asked to avoid singing the song.

Source:

https://www.foxsports.com.au/rugby/tom-jones-hit-delilah-banned-by-welsh-rugby-over-one-lyric/news-story/5dca60ac239da97411cd838a05047808

Meanwhile . . .

Angry Welsh rugby fans have vowed to sing Delilah at the Principality Stadium after one current international star criticised the decision to ban it. One of Cardiff's most famous match-day pubs, The Old Arcade, has also responded by tweeting: "We will be playing Delilah… It will be loud… It will be on a loop…" Supporters with tickets have pledged to follow suit.

Source:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/wales-rugby-fans-delilah-banned-29115653

Tom Jones commented on the issue in 2014:

"I love to hear it sung at rugby games. "It makes me very proud to be Welsh. I think if they're looking into the lyric about a man killing a woman, it's not a political statement. It's just something that happens in life [and] he just loses it.

He added that rugby fans "don't think about" the words and instead focus on the iconic chorus.

Source:

https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/1730166/Tom-Jones-Delilah-backlash-Wales-ban

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By the way . . .

You have listened to the lyrics of that other sweet hit of Tom Jones, the Green Green Bross of Home, haven’t you?

A man returns to his childhood home for what seems to be his first visit there since leaving in his youth. When he steps down from the train, his parents are there to greet him, and his beloved, Mary, comes running to join them. They meet him with "arms reaching, smiling sweetly". With Mary, the man strolls at ease among the monuments of his childhood, including "the old oak tree that I used to play on", feeling that "it's good to touch the green, green grass of home".

Abruptly, the man switches from song to speech, as he awakens and sees "four grey walls" surrounding him and remembers that he is in prison. As he resumes singing, we learn that the man is waking on the day of his scheduled execution. He sees a guard and "a sad old padre" who will walk with him to his execution at daybreak, and then he will return home "in the shade of that old oak tree, as they lay me 'neath the green, green grass of home".

Hey, maybe he is being executed for killing Delilah.

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Part of an interview with Tom Jones by Terry Gross, May 14, 2021:

GROSS: One of the things that apparently always happens at your concerts is that there are some women who throw their panties at you, throw them onto the stage. Do you remember the very first time that happened?

JONES: Yeah. It was in the Copacabana in New York in 1968. It was a supper club. And the singer is on the same - the stage - the band is on the stage. But the singer is on the dance floor, which is at - and all these tables - you know, tables and chairs all around you with the people. And I was perspiring a lot, so these ladies were handing me table napkins. And then this one woman stood up and took her underwear off and, you know, handed them to me. And it was written up in the newspaper the following day. And that's what started it. And that was in '68, and I went to Vegas the same year. And then the room keys, you know, started because people that are in Vegas are staying in the hotels. And they have, you know, room keys in their handbags or their purses.

So, you know, it was - the stage would be showered with underwear and room keys. So that went on for quite a while. But, you know, when it first started, it was very sexy because I don't think any woman had ever thrown underwear at a singer before. I don't think it ever happened before that or, for that matter, throwing a room key up there, you know? So it was very sexy at the time. But then it - you know, it became a bit of a joke because people would bring underwear, you know, in handbags and just throw them up there because they thought it was the thing to do. So it backfired on me a bit.

Source:

https://www.capradio.org/news/npr/story?storyid=996828772

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Jones was born on 7 June 1940,so is aged 82, and is still performing, although these days are more likely to throw incontinence pads on stage than underwear

Tom Jones at the Queen’s burthday party, 2018

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Meanwhile, in other news . . .

Kids banned:

A Melbourne woman has called for the creation of “adults only” suburbs in Australia so she can have “peace and quiet”.

The TikTok user, who goes by the name Baby Soja online, uploaded the video over the weekend following a visit to her local pool, saying she was “so sick” of having to put up with “screaming” children. “I would like to know when somebody is planning on opening an adult’s only suburb, where everything in it is only for adults,” she said. “Because I am so sick of going places and kids are just everywhere screaming and I just have to put up with it.”

She said she had just gone for a swim and, despite there being a separate pool for children, claimed there were kids “jumping and screaming” in the lap lane pool. “And that is just allowed because they are allowed everywhere,” she said.

“I just feel like for people like me that are evil and hate kids we should have our own suburb where we can just be quiet and undisturbed.”

Many people, even parents, agreed that there need to be more child-free areas available. “I love kids and I still love this idea and would move there,” one person said. “As a parent of two small children, I completely understand what you’re saying and respect that child-free people need space too,” another commented.

One person said they would like to see more adult only spaces that are centred around alcohol or just for night time. Other commenters there should be adult only restaurants, parks and supermarkets as well. “Child free pools, restaurants, movies and planes would be amazing - from a mum,” one person wrote.

One person suggested she was basically talking about a retirement village, to which the TikTok user said she wish they would “let her move in already’.

Source:

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/woman-calls-for-the-creation-of-adult-only-suburbs-in-australia/news-story/c715d970f8e9a5d6ca9ac6c0b30d7fa2

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

THE MONTY HALL PROBLEM

A few days ago I posted a paradox known as the Ship of Theseus, which asks how much of a ship has to be replaced before it stops being the original ship.

Here is an example of another fascinating paradox. . . .

It is known as The Monty Hall Problem for being based on the American television game show Let's Make a Deal, the original host of which was Monty Hall.

The problem was originally posed (and solved) in a letter by Steve Selvin to the American Statistician in 1975. It became famous as a question from reader Craig F. Whitaker's letter quoted in Marilyn vos Savant's "Ask Marilyn" column in Parade magazine in 1990:

Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goats. You pick a door, say No. 1, and the host, who knows what's behind the doors, opens another door, say No. 3, which has a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to pick door No. 2?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice?

Do you stay with Door 1 or switch to Door 2? Does it make any difference? Do the odds improve, worsen or stay the same by switching?

Surprisingly, the odds aren’t 50-50.

The switching strategy has a 2/3 probability of winning the car, while the strategy that remains with the initial choice has only a 1/3 probability.

When Monty offers the switch after revealing that one of the doors does not have the car, the majority of people assume that both remaining doors are equally like to have the prize, that each of the 2 doors has a 50/50 chance. Because there is no perceived reason to change, most people stick with their initial choice.

However, If you switch doors, you double your probability of winning.

Flipping a coin will have a 1 in 2 chance each time of heads or tails. That is because the flipping result is random each time and the probabilities do not change. The Monty Hall problem does not satisfy either requirement.

The only random portion of the process is the first choice. When you pick one of the three doors, you truly have a 1 in 3 probability of picking the correct door.

The process stops being random when Monty Hall uses his insider knowledge about the prize’s location. When it’s time for him to open a door, there are two doors he can open However, Monty doesn’t want to reveal the prize. Monty knowingly opens only a door that does not contain the prize. The end result is that the door he doesn’t show you, and lets you switch to, has a higher probability of containing the prize. That’s how the process is neither random nor has constant probabilities.

If you pick the incorrect door by random chance, the prize is behind one of the other two doors.

Monty knows the prize location. He opens the only door available to him that does not have the prize.

By the process of elimination, the prize must be behind the door that he does not open.

The Monty Hall problem is a statistical, rather than an optical, illusion.

Our mental assumptions for solving the problem do not match the actual process. Our mental assumptions were based on independent, random events. However, Monty knows the prize location and uses this knowledge to affect the outcomes in a non-random fashion. Once you understand how Monty uses his knowledge to pick a door, the results make sense.

If you are still sceptical, non-plussed or confused, you are not alone.

Many readers of vos Savant's column refused to believe switching is beneficial and rejected her explanation. After the problem appeared in Parade, approximately 10,000 readers, including nearly 1,000 with PhDs, wrote to the magazine, most of them calling vos Savant wrong. Even when given explanations, simulations, and formal mathematical proofs, many people still did not accept that switching is the best strategy. Paul Erdős, one of the most prolific mathematicians in history, remained unconvinced until he was shown a computer simulation demonstrating vos Savant's predicted result.

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By the way, I love the scene in Labyrinth where Sarah quizzes the guards as to which is lying and which is telling the truth . . .

Sarah: Would he tell me that this door leads to the castle?

Guard: [Whispers with his counterparts] Yes?

Sarah: So... the other door leads to the castle and this one leads to certain death.

Guard: [All the guards Oooh] But he could be telling the truth!

Sarah: But then you wouldn't be. So if he told me that this door leads to the castle, the answer you should give me would be 'No'Guard: But I could be telling the truth!

Sarah: But then he would be lying. So then if he said this door led to the castle, I'd know the answer would still be 'No'

Guard: Is-is that right?

Guard: [snickers] I don't know! I've never understood it!

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QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

FUNNY FRIDAY

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A mixed bag of humour today, presented for your enjoyment and amusement.

Enjoy, readers, but a caution that there is risqué content ahead.

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SOME HUMOUR:

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The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant.

If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.

When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

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I ate an expired can of alphabet soup...

Now I have severe cramps in my vowels and I've been in-consonant all day

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How does Gordon Ramsay discern a leopard from a jaguar?

ITS FUCKING ROAR!

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A man’s wife is missing…

Man: Officer, my wife is missing. She went out yesterday and she hasn’t come home.

Officer: Okay, what’s her height?

Man: Not sure…. Maybe around 5’6?

Officer: Okay, weight?

Man: I dunno… not slim not big.

Officer: Okay… colour of her eyes?

Man: Sort of blue, I think? I never really noticed.

Officer: What’s the colour of her hair?

Man: Well, that changes all the time depending on the hair dresser she goes to.

Officer: what clothes was she wearing the last time you saw her?

Man: Could’ve been a red dress? Maybe a blue one? I don’t know exactly.

Officer: when she left to go somewhere, did she go by car?

Man: Yeah, she did.

Officer: What was the make of that car?

Man: it’s a high performance 560 horse power Audi in a very specific grey silver metallic paint. It has 8 speed paddle shift automatic transition and a 6.35 litre v12 engine generating at least 560 horse power. It has a z51 super performance package, larger than normal alloy wheels, gt bucket seats, satellite navigation. And unfortunately… a little thin scratch on the front left door handle.

Officer: Don’t worry, sir. We’ll find your car.

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A big, burly man visited his pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam,” he said in a broken voice "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father of the family is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400".

“How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord" he sobbed.                                                                                                            _________                                                                                                                     

Just been into my local cafe and asked for a BLT, it took a while but eventually a bi-sexual, a lesbian and a transgender turned up to help me with my order.

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All the Merry Men, and Maid Marion, gathered around Robin Hood’s deathbed, waiting for the inevitable end. Manfully, heroically, Robin struggled up and croaked "Little John, fetch me my long bow. I will fire an arrow out the window and wherever it lands, that’s where you will bury me.”

Deeply moved, they placed the bow and arrow in his trembling fingers, propped him up and faced him towards Sherwood Forest. And with an immense effort, Robin aimed and fired. And so it came to pass that they buried him on top of the wardrobe.

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

(for the purpose of this limerick, Erksine is pronounced Air Skin)

There once was a lady of Erskine

Who had a remarkable fair skin.

When I said to her ‘Mabel,

You look well in sable,’

She replied, ‘I look best in my bearskin.’

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GALLERY:

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CORN CORNER:

I stole a revolver made out of gelatine.

Once the cops found me I was charged for carrying a congealed weapon.

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I sell security door to door

If no one is home, I leave a pamphlet on their kitchen table.

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A truck carrying synonym dictionaries has had an accident on the highway.

From the other cars, the passengers were shocked, tormented, amazed, incredulous, confused, paralyzed, stunned, bewildered, perplexed, amazed, dumbfounded, dumbstruck.

_________

Forgive me father, priest, preacher, reverend,

for I have synonymed.

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This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm".

I said, "It's sedate."

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY