Thursday, May 4, 2023

FROM THE VAULT



From Bytes, December 6 2020

I am reposting this because I came across the song again and had forgotten that I had previously posted an item about it. If I have forgotten it, perhaps readers have as well, which makes it as good as new.

Enjoy.


Australian Folk Songs: Stir the Wallaby Stew


Most Australian folk songs tell of hardship, injustice, difficult times and heartbreak. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of one Oz folk song that is happy or joyous. The following Stir the Wallaby Stew is no exception . . ,


About:
  • First published in the Bulletin in 1897.
  • Written by Cecil Poole, original title When Dad Comes Out of Gaol.
  • Printed in Stewart and Keesing, Old Bush Songs and Rhymes of Colonial Times with the note “Sung sixty years ago by a Mr Hulbert. Mrs E. Joan Bowran, Tallangatta.”
  • A.L. Lloyd sang Wallaby Stew in 1958 on his Wattle LP Across the Western Plains. 
He noted:
Two young fellows who had been working on the Darling Downs were walking back home to Port Adelaide. Following the Lachlan River, they called in at a station for rations. The boss didn't like their looks and wanted them to move on, but the boy who did the butchering skinned a hamstrung lamb for them, and they rewarded him with a song about Wallaby Stew. Their song was tangled up with another called Country Gaol, and it didn't make much sense. When they'd gone, the boy missed his good skinning knife, but he did recover the Wallaby Stew song, nearly thirty years later and twelve thousand miles away, when Edgar Waters of Sydney, on a visit to England, showed him a coherent set of words, probably from the collection of Percy Jones. The tune is widely known among seaman to the words of According to the Act (the influence of sailor tunes on Australian folk songs is worth studying). Perhaps the tune gained a readier foothold because it is related to the older and more handsome melody used for The Cockies of Bungaree.
Lyrics:

Wallaby Stew

Poor Dad he got five years or more as everybody knows
And now he lives in Boggo Road with broad arrows on his clothes
He branded all of Brown's clean skins and never left a tail
So I'll relate the family's woes since Dad got put in jail

Chorus
So stir the wallaby stew
Make soup of the kangaroo tail
I tell you things is pretty tough
Since Dad got put in jail

Our sheep were dead a month ago not rot but blooming fluke
Our cow was boozed last Christmas Day by my big brother Luke
And Mother has a shearer cove for ever within hail
The family will have grown a bit since Dad got put in jail

Our Bess got shook upon a bloke he's gone we don't know where
He used to act around the shed but he ain’t acted square
I've sold the buggy on my own the place is up for sale
That won’t be all that has been junked when Dad comes out of jail

They let Dad out before his time to give us a surprise
He came and slowly looked around and gently blessed our eyes
He shook hands with the shearer cove and said he thought things stale
So he left him here to shepherd us and battled back to jail


Alternative lyrics:

Poor Dad he got five years or more as everybody knows
And now he's stuck in Maitland Jail broad arrows on his clothes
He branded old Brown's clean skins and he never left a tail
Now I'll relate the family's fate since Dad got put in jail

So stir the wallaby stew, make soup of the kangaroo tail,
I'll tell you things is pretty crook since Dad got put in jail.

Our sheep all died last springtime, from footrot and the fluke
Our cow got shot last Christmas by my drunken brother Luke
The buggy's bust, the wheat has rust and the place is up for sale
And that ain't all that's up the spout since Dad got put in jail

Our Bess got stuck on some young bloke but he's gone we don't know where
He worked around the shearing shed and he certainly worked on her
And Mother has a shearer cove for ever within hail
The family will have grown a bit since Dad got put in jail

They let Dad out before his time to give us a surprise
He came and took a look around and gently cursed our eyes
He shook hands with the shearer cove and reckoned things looked stale
Then he slowly spat on the old dirt floor and battled back to jail

Glossary:

Boggo Road:

Boggo Road Gaol in Brisbane, Australia, was Queensland’s main jail from the 1880s to the 1980s, by which time it had become notorious for poor conditions and rioting.



Broad arrows:

Broad arrow insignia, also referred to as crows feet, was used on prison dress from about 1830.



Clean skins:

Unbranded cattle, not to be confused with:

- cleanskin wines where the winery is not shown on the label, only the variety of grapes used;

- persons with no criminal record;

- people without tattoos.

The use of the term for wine actually comes from the term for unbranded cattle.

Never left a tail:

My take on this is that Dad killed and either ate or sold the carcasses.

Wallaby:

Although species on its own, essentially a smaller form of kangaroo.

Blooming:

A euphemism for bloody. The Oxford English Dictionary explains that the use of "bloody” as an intensifier and thereafter becoming unacceptable arose from aristocratic rowdies known as "bloods", hence "bloody drunk" means "drunk as a blood". It may also be a direct loan of Dutch bloote, (modern spelling blote) meaning entire, complete or pure which, it has been suggested, was transformed into bloody where it implies completely, entirely, purely, very, truly. The word "blood" in Dutch and German is used as part of minced oaths, in abbreviation of expressions referring to "God's blood".

Fluke:

Liver fluke is a parasitic worm which can infect cattle, sheep and goats, as well humans.

Our cow was boozed:

The cow was sold and the proceeds used to buy booze.

Cove:

In Australian slang, a manager, especially of a sheep station.

The family will have grown a bit . . .

Mum is pregnant, Or sis, Or both.


Shook upon:

Intensely moved, as in Elvis Presley’s “All shook up”

Junked:

Discarded



Wednesday, May 3, 2023

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 


LAUGH


---- 😊😊😊 -----


Jerry Seinfeld once said “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.”

I was reminded this when one of our dogs had a stomach upset last week and had diarrhoea, leaving it to ate and I to clean up. Smelly, disgusting, stomach churning.

So there is the theme for this week,


---- 😊😊😊 -----

SOME HUMOUR:
__________

Two flies are sitting on a dog poo. One of them breaks wind, and the other says….

Do you mind! I’m eating!
__________

I stepped in dog poo.

I can't see shit without my glasses.
__________

I asked God what the most unlikely thing in the world was.

He replied.
__________

The neighbour’s dog crapped in our garden, so my wife told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.

I don’t see what that solved. We’ve still got dog poo in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel.
__________

A couple for son Thomas and his wife Jess, who keep bees, they have about 30,000 head . . .

Fellas if you ever meet a woman who takes the time to take care of bees, marry her.
She's a keeper.

Why couldn’t the beekeeper afford a GPS device?
Because honey can’t buy mappiness.

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is too wide.”
__________

A man goes to the bank to ask for a loan. He presents his case to the banker but the banker turns him down.

The man asks “Do you mind if I ask if you wear a glass right eye?”

The banker replies “Yes. What made you ask that?”

The man replied “It appears to be the more compassionate of the two."

---- 😊😊😊 -----


A young man is visiting his future wife's parent's house for dinner. He is incredibly nervous and not feeling too well, but he sits down for dinner anyway. The family dog, Rover, takes a seat under him and they start dinner.

The guy has terrible wind and really has to fart, so he lets out just a tiny one. The girlfriend's father says, "Rover! Get out!". The guy thinks this is really great; they think it's the dog! He lets a little bigger one this time. The father says, "Rover! Get out of there!" in a little harsher tone.

Relaxing, the guy finally decides to really let one rip, so he blasts away with a really long one. The father stands up and shouts "For fuck's sake Rover, get out of there before he shits on you!".

---- 😊😊😊 -----


LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

Another limerick from Oz:

Said a snooty young thing from Australia:
“Now concerning the male genitalia,
Men brag of their size
Till you’re sure you’ve a prize,
Then exhibit wee paraphernalia.”

---- 😊😊😊 -----

RELIGION SPOT:

A parishioner compliments the minister after a sermon, saying, "Reverend, your words today were akin to the peace and love of God."

"Thank you," responds the minister, "Why do you say that?"

The parishioner explains, " Because the peace of God passes all understanding, and the love of God endures forever."

---- 😊😊😊 -----

GALLERY:


Same theme . . . 



And something topical, sent to me by Thomas . . . 


Same theme . . . 


---- 😊😊😊 -----


CORN CORNER:
__________

You can't really blame barnacles for being clingy...

They're just a little shellfish.
__________

My wife says I can't solve my own problems

How do I prove her wrong?
__________

The salesman at the hardware store tried to sell me 20 ft. of rope for $1, but I refused.

I hate…long good buys.

---- 😊😊😊 -----

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY



 

COMMON SENSE



The following item was sent to me by regular contributor John P. Thanks, John.

Some comments about it:
  • It was written in 19998 by Lori Borgman and was first published in the Indianapolis Star on 15 March 1998.
  • There is a version attributed to George Carlin which differs in a number of ways from Ms. Borgman's original.
  • Below is the one sent to me by John.
  • It is incorrect in a number of respects. One example, often quoted by critics of the current age, is the old lady awarded damages for spilling hot coffee in her lap. It wasn’t stupidity or a lack of commonsense.
From:
Stella Liebeck was a 79-year-old woman in Albuquerque, New Mexico, whose grandson drove her to McDonald’s in 1992. She was in a parked car when the coffee spilled.

Liebeck acknowledged that the spill was her fault. What she took issue with was that the coffee was so ridiculously hot — at up to 190 degrees Fahrenheit, near boiling point — that it caused third-degree burns on her legs and genitals, nearly killing her and requiring extensive surgery to treat.

McDonald’s apparently knew that this was unsafe. In the decade before Liebeck’s spill, McDonald’s had received 700 reports of people burning themselves. McDonald’s admitted that its coffee was a hazard at such high temperatures. But it continued the practice, enforced by official McDonald’s policy, of heating up its coffee to near-boiling point. (McDonald’s claimed customers wanted the coffee this hot.)

Liebeck didn’t want to go to court. She just wanted McDonald’s to pay her medical expenses, estimated at $20,000. McDonald’s only offered $800, leading her to file a lawsuit in 1994.

After hearing the evidence, the jury concluded that McDonald’s handling of its coffee was so irresponsible that Liebeck should get much more than $20,000, suggesting she get nearly $2.9 million to send the company a message. Liebeck settled for less than $600,000. And McDonald’s began changing how it heats up its coffee.

As Conover put it, “This was an incredibly rare case where a working-class victim actually beat a huge team of corporate lawyers and made the world a better place.”
  • I was reminded of how much of John’s contribution did make sense, however, when I read today that a Sydney District Court judge sentenced a child sex predator over an act towards a 14 year old boy. The offender was born male but identifies as a woman. The judge, in his judgment, referred to “her penis”.
  • The world has gone mad.


John’s contribution (which I believe may have been previously posted in Bytes):

An Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair; and
Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.




Monday, May 1, 2023

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 



ART SPOT


Byter and regular contributor Sue P sent me an email headed Ephemeral Artist with a link to the art of Hannah Bullen-Ryner. The item can be accessed on the following link sent by Sue:

Thanks, Sue.

For some artists the beauty of art is not preservation in a museum or gallery but in the thing itself, however transitory or ephemeral. Chalk artists don’t seek that their art be permanently preserved, does a rose or a butterfly cease being beautiful simply because the beauty is temporary?

The art of Hannah Bullen-Ryner is an example.

The following is from her website at:
Using only natural materials found locally and no permanent fixings, each piece I form is inspired by the organic shapes of the natural environment around me.

I create to share my love of nature and to soothe my soul.

Welcome to my little pixie world...

​After sharing almost daily on my Facebook and Instagram pages, I'm often asked to sell prints of my creations. Some of these are then offered for sale in my once a month 'releases'.


Gallery: