FUNNY FRIDAY

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Another mixed bag of humour today that I believe has something to tickle most funny bones.

Enjoy.

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SOME HUMOUR:

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Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest.

For I have synonymed.

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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

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A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is grey (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."

Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The pastor breathed a sigh of relief and called on him.

"Well...," said the boy, "I know the answer must be Jesus... but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"

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I was asked if I knew any blacksmiths

Apparently "Will" and "Jada Pinkett" were incorrect answers.

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An old British gentleman returns home lane in the evening. His butler meets him at the door:

Butler: So, old fart, been out drinking and banging whores again?

The gentleman: No, John, I have been out buying myself a hearing aid.

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Lord Henry lived alone in his manor with his faithful manservant, James.

His lordship had a regular daily routine which included James assisting his lordship with his bath. Once his lordship was in his bath, it was James’ duty to fetch Lord Henry a brandy.

One day his lordship was feeling drowsy in his bath and began drifting off to sleep, just as James was about to leave to get Lord Henry his daily brandy. As James was turning the handle on the door, his lordship broke wind. James paused, looked at his lordship and left.

Some time later James came back, carrying a silver tray with the glass of brandy, a jar of Bovril, a cheap fob watch and a hot water bottle.

“What’s all this?” asked his lordship.

“The things you asked for, m’lord,” said James.

“You must be daft, my good man,” said his lordship, “I asked for nothing of the sort.”

“I’m sorry, your lordship,” replied James, “I could have sworn that as I was leaving I heard you ask for a four bob fob watch, hot water bottle and bottle of Bovril.”

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

A lissom psychotic named Jane

Once kissed every man on a train.

Said she ‘Please don’t panic,

I’m just nymphomanic –

It wouldn’t be fun, were I sane.’

It brings to mind the quote from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:

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GALLERY:

Some items sent by Byter John P – thanks John, quite witty.

More to come in future Bytes.

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CORN CORNER:

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A lottery ticket is a weird gift to give someone

it’s like “Here. This has a 99% chance of being disappointing. I saw it and thought of you”

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What’s the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates

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When the shopkeeper told me the price of the Velcro, I replied: "Well, that's just a rip off."

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I got a dog from the blacksmiths the other day...

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

FACTS

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Some more items of interest . . . 

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Fact:

The offspring of a polar bear and a grizzle bear is known as a pizzly bear. It is also known as a grolar bear, zebra bear, grizzlar, polizzly and nanulak.

Polar/brown bear hybrid at Osnabrück Zoo

Such a cross is a rare hybrid that has occurred both in captivity and in the wild. In 2006, the occurrence of this hybrid in nature was confirmed by testing the DNA of a unique-looking bear that had been shot near Sachs Harbour, Northwest Territories, on Banks Island in the Canadian Arctic. The number of confirmed hybrids has since risen to eight, all of them descending from the same female polar bear.

Possible wild-bred polar bear–grizzly bear hybrids have been reported and shot in the past, but DNA tests were not available to verify the bears' ancestry.

Experts believe that polar-grizzly bear hybrids or on the increase in that polar bears are moving south the escape the effects of global warming, and grizzly bears are moving north.

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Fact:

During Hitler’s years in power, Mein Kampf was given away free to every newly-wed couple.

Begun in 1924, while Adolf Hitler was in Landsberg prison for the beer hall putsch, his failed attempt to overthrow the Weimar Republic, Mein Kampf (My Struggle) was written with the assistance of Rudolf Hess and consists of two volumes, published in 1925 and 1926, respectively. In it Hitler describes the process by which he became antisemitic and outlines his political ideology and future plans for Germany.

After slow initial sales, the book became a bestseller in Germany following Hitler's rise to power in 1933. Free copies of Mein Kampf were given to every newlywed couple, and later to every soldier stationed on the front. By the time of Hitler’s death in 1945, about 10 million copies were in circulation.

After Hitler's death, copyright of Mein Kampf passed to the state government of Bavaria, which refused to allow any copying or printing of the book in Germany. In 2016, following the expiration of the copyright held by the Bavarian state government, Mein Kampf was republished in Germany for the first time since 1945, which prompted public debate and divided reactions from Jewish groups.

BTW:

Hitler originally wanted to call his forthcoming book Viereinhalb Jahre (des Kampfes) gegen Lüge, Dummheit und Feigheit (Four and a Half Years [of Struggle] Against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice). Max Amann, head of the Franz Eher Verlag and Hitler's publisher, is said to have suggested the much shorter "Mein Kampf" ("My Struggle").

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Fact:

The most common street name in the US is Second Street.

According to the US Department of Commerce, the twenty most common street names and the number of nationwide occurrences are:

1. Second (10,866)

2. Third (10,131)

3. First (9,898)

4. Fourth (9,190)

5. Park (8,926)

6. Fifth (8,186)

7. Main (7,644)

8. Sixth (7,283)

9. Oak (6,946)

10. Seventh (6,377)

11. Pine (6,170)

12. Maple (6,103)

13. Cedar (5,644)

14. Eighth (5,524)

15. Elm (5,233)

16. View (5,202)

17. Washington (4,974)

18. Ninth (4,908)

19. Lake (4,901)

20. Hill (4,877)

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Fact:

Most clams start off as male but half of them turn female when older.

A very topical factlet, there is no record of clams competing in sporting events or whether this an issue.

Clams are hermaphrodites, which means they can be both male and female. They practice consecutive sexuality, so if in a season one of them acts as male, in the following season it will be the female. The one who performs the function of female, releases between five and eight million ovules into the sea; depending of the time of year. On the other hand, the male releases two thousand six hundred million spermatozoa, which fuse with the cells spread by the female, forming the eggs.

Don’t take my word for it, click on:

https://www.seacoastonline.com/story/lifestyle/2009/06/03/clams-wonder-their-reproduction/51975328007/

Also:

Giant clams are hermaphroditic, producing both eggs and sperm. A fully-grown giant clam can release over 500 million eggs in one go. As they cannot fertilise themselves, they reproduce through broadcast spawning. When an egg is release, this triggers nearby giant clams to swell their mantles and contract their adductor muscles. This causes the clams to fill with water containing broadcasted sperm and eggs.

https://www.barrierreef.org/the-reef/animals/giant-clam#:~:text=Behaviour%20and%20Reproduction,they%20reproduce%20through%20broadcast%20spawning.

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Fact:

The oldest animal ever found was a 405 year-old Icelandic clam. It was killed by researchers trying to determine its age.

Ming (1499–2006) was the name given to a specimen of the ocean quahog that was dredged off the coast of Iceland in 2006. It was named Ming after the dynasty that was ruling in China when it was first born (born?). Its age was calculated by counting annual growth lines in the shell. Ming was the oldest individual (non-colonial) animal ever discovered whose age could be precisely determined. Originally thought to be 405 years old, Ming was later determined to be 507 years old.

The sex of the clam is unknown as its reproductive state was recorded as "spent".

The research was carried out by researchers from Bangor University. Ming’s long life came to an end in 2006 when the British researchers – unaware of the animal’s exceptional age – froze him/her, killing it.

Obviously Ming did not have a lovely time the day he/she went to Bangor.

Ming’s left valve

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Fact:

The Carlton Tavern in England is both new and 100 years old.

Carlton Tavern in Kilburn, London, built in 1921, was the only building in the street to survive the German bombing during World War II. The building was noted for its unaltered 1920s interiors and tiled exterior, and was on the verge of being awarded the protected Grade II status from Historic England.

The Carlton Tavern prior to demolition.

It was demolished by the owners in 2015 to make way for a block of luxury flats. The demolition took place without a permit, the demolition application having been turned down by the city council. During Easter, the owners (who had knowledge of the imminent heritage listing) asked Patsy Lord, the then-manager of the Carlton Tavern, to vacate the pub for a few days because they needed to take an inventory. When she returned two days later, she found a pile of bricks and broken glass where the building used to be.

The developers thought they could get away with the infraction with a slap on the wrist and a fine, but not so. The city council ordered the developers to rebuild the pub “brick by brick”.

Thankfully, the preservation society English Heritage had surveyed the pub, making records of the layout, tiles and other original details so that full architectural information was available, but many remained skeptical that the pub could be rebuilt exactly as it was before demolition.

Six years later, when the Carlton Tavern reopened, it became simultaneously brand-new and a hundred years old.

The recreated tavern.

According to Tom Trees for the new owners:

"They've done an amazing job at rebuilding it as it was. A lot of people have come in and said what a beautiful old building and they don't believe us when we say it's brand new. We feel we're getting the best of both worlds. We're getting a brand new pub with brand new electrics and wiring; and plumbing, but we're getting the charm and beauty of this heritage pub.”

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

“The legend engraved on the face of the Jewish nickel– on the body of every Jewish child!– not IN GOD WE TRUST, but 

SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE A PARENT AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.”

- Philip Roth, Portoy's Complaint

A READER WRITES AND A MESSED UP REX

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I received the following email from Byter Bruce R in response to the post about football quotes:

Hi Otto

I saw your blog from Sunday and it brought back to mind a quote from our very own Rex Mossop. As you may recall Rex played for Manly, NSW and Australia in both league and union way back. As a somewhat celebrated commentator Rex, without fail, would come up with a way to massacre the English language without even realising it.

The following quote from Rex was not about football of any code but given Rex was a football player I couldn’t resist sending it to you (perhaps to be kind to Rex, who has departed this earth, he may have put his head on the line once or twice too often)

The quote is:

In 1976, Mossop made a citizen's arrest of a nudist at Balgowlah Beach later stating "I don't need the male genitalia rammed down my throat".

A classic Mossopism!

All the best.

Regards

Bruce

Thanks Bruce.

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That quote, and more, was written about in Bytes on the occasion of Rex Mossop’s death in 2011.

To add body to Bruce’s comments and to look back to when political correctness did not have the strength it does today, here is that 2011 post . . .

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Sunday, June 19, 2011

RIP: Rex Mossop

Rex Mossop (1928-2011)

Manly rugby league legend and former commentator Rex Mossop died today, aged 83. Mossop, who played rugby league and rugby union for Australia, suffered from Alzheimer's disease. He was admitted to Royal North Shore Hospital this year and his condition is understood to have deteriorated in the past week.

Mossop played rugby union for the Manly club and played Tests for the Wallabies between 1948 and 1951.He switched codes in 1951, joining English club Leigh before returning to Australia. Mossop played for Manly-Warringah from 1956 as the cornerstone of their forward pack before retiring in 1963 at the age of 35. He was rugby league's premier television commentator on Channels Seven and Ten from the 1970s until 1990.

- News Report, Sydney Morning Herald

http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-league/league-news/league-legend-rex-mossop-dies-aged-83-20110618-1g8n2.html#ixzz1PcFYG0yW

Rex “Moose” Mossop, aka The Moose That Roared, Rex Messup and Tyrannosaurus Rex (ie a dinosaur), played football hard and uncompromising. He lived life the same way. Decried by feminists, vilified by gays and opposed by civil libertarians, Mossop had no time for political correctness and typified the Frank Sinatra song “I Did It My Way.” He was also known for his mangling of the English language, regularly winning sports commentator tautology awards.

Some memorable moments:

The famous appearance on Steve Vizard’s Tonight Live, when he was seated next to Julian Clary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8RX48BITiI

The blue screen falls on Rex:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMK3291XpCc

Rex lived near Balgowlah beach which became a favoured nudist beach. He regularly made citizen’s arrests, declaring "I don't think the male genitals or the female genitals should be rammed down people's throats … to use a colloquialism…"

Some other quotes:

"The referee gave him a verbal tongue-lashing",

'That match was so bad it made me want to go home and thump the missus!' (unconfirmed)

"If I keep getting Boyd and O'Grady mixed up, it's because they look alike, especially around the head"

“He seems to have suffered a groin injury at the top of his leg.”

“That kick had both height and elevation.”

“I don’t want to sound incredulous but I can’t believe it.”

"He's made a great yardage of 25 metres."

"He's making good forward progress".

Former Manly hooker Max Krilich recalls: 

"We used to play touch football down at Brookvale Oval when I was 15 or 16, and he coathangered me one day - in touch footy. He said 'Son, if you're going to play grade football later on, you've got to learn to cop that'. I went home crying!"

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Some pics:

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

STILL MORE UGLY BELGIAN HOUSES

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In 2012 architect Hannes Coudenys began documenting quirky and ugly buildings in his native Belgium. These pics he posted on an Instagram account and a Facebook site called 'Ugly Belgian Houses” He is still doing so.

Some of those pics and reader comments have been posted in Bytes previously.

Asked in an interview why he thought Belgium in particular seemed to produce such eccentric architecture, he replied:

“The Dutch have been ruling us, France has been ruling us, we have always had to be brave little Belgians. We were finally being set free and subsidized to do what we want. After school, you find a girl, you get married, and you build your own house, and it’s not OK for it to look like the neighbours’ houses.”

I suppose that’s as good an explanation as any.

Here are some more recent pics from Hannes Courdenys’ Facebook page, with his headings and reader comments, at:

https://www.facebook.com/uglybelgianhouses/

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When you are a home alone and scared

Reader comments:

If you plan a wedding and later a divorce. Ideal division in the middle possible.

A beer too many

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Well that escalated quickly

You're not my real house,

you're my stephouse!

At this point I am starting to consider this as Belgian heritage. 😆

When you can't afford that last quarter house and use outdoor steps to distract onlookers.

It's like they ran out bricks to finish the upstairs so decided to "style it out" to hide their miscalculation.

Our Lady of the Pointless Stairs

Strange looking house. 😱

The Maculate Conception of Mary

Stairway to heaven

Is it a chapel?

Is it a castle?

Is it a house?

Is it a fishermans place?

Mario bros home

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The US had Barack. The first black president.

We have a barak. The first black shed.

The window 🙄

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Some people have gingerbread houses, I have a Pizza Hut

It looks more like an anime figure with a square hat...

The architect went through the roof from excitement!

A cardboard box when the lid doesn't fit.

Never seen a house with the garage on top 🤔

Omg paint the roof red already 🤣

Home from the man with a hat 🎩

It’s wearing a hat

This makes me hungry 😋

Beautiful little house I love it

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When your baby is ugly, do you know it?

If you give it plenty of water and sun, it will grow to be a big house. Not?

Luxury doghouse...

No. Nature is kind. But if you KNOW your house is ugly, stick something uglier in front of it

So mean. So true.

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This doesn’t add up

"I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order" - Eric Morecambe (English comedian).

I am happy to disagree on that one as this house looks like a three layered chocolate cake actually in the right order: first dark, then milk, then white!

The bottom one is suspicious, the middle one is screaming, the blue one is hiding, and the top black one with horns and a third eye rules them all

Goths live in the attic

Yeah, just put the door on the first floor 😂😂

The lasagne house

Even the house itself seems freaked out by that look.

Doesn't look very Belgian...

German part of Belgium

What’s wrong, looks good to me!;)

May be an image of cake

Is that door the fire exit.

To the administrator of this page… time and time again I am angry and slightly frustrated at how denigrating you are towards homes that are equal to their owners and the energy and investment they put into this. All the more this without any foreknowledge of how something came about and to throw it in the public eye. where do you get this right? I find your attitude “haughty” and above all reprehensible and without any respect for people from society…

"I'm just going out the front doooooo."......splat!

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BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE

Big Brother is watching...

The all seeing eye of Budha

Don’t trust that house!

Hedges have ears and walls have eyes. 🤫

Looks very suspicious...

It is not a house but a concrete bunker from WW II, camouflaged as a house.

It is concocting an evil scheme.

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Not sure if penis or tetris

I see sideways Ts.

I will never be able to look at a window in the same way as before

Nice building

not much money to spend on windows

Not very good at tetris, though 😂

Probably both

And on a separate note: no daylight please. In Dutch we call it ramenhater (window hater)

He's just happy to see you!

Or maybe a double middle finger🖕to good taste ?

🙈

How can any planning authority allow such things?

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

FOOTBALL QUOTES

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So yesterday was the Rugby League grand final in Sydney, the day before was the Aussie Rules GF in Melbourne. They even had a public holiday in Melbourne on the Friday, notwithstanding that the GF was being played on Saturday. Go figure.

Which prompts me to resurrect a post from the vault, from February 26, 2010 . . .

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Stupid Football Quotes

Rugby League footballers in Sydney regularly make the news for being boofheads or alcohol fuelled neanderthals, but the list of quotes below shows that lack of grey matter is not confined to one code or one country. Coaches and commentators are also not exempt.

It may be that sports persons are soft targets to ridicule for lack of education or sophistication, given that they spend their time, often since childhood, training rather than studying. The quotes below however are at a much more basic level.

The following is from a website:

http://premiershiptoday.blogspot.com/2007/06/25-most-stupid-quotes-from-footballers.html

The 25 Most Stupid Footballers Quotes... In The World...Ever

25: "Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough."

Jonathan Woodgate

24: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."

Ron Atkinson

23: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

Terry Venables

22: "They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."

Kevin Keegan

21: "A game is not won until it is lost."

David Pleat

20: "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."

David Beckham

19: "I never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well."

Alan Shearer

18: "I never make predictions, and I never will."

Paul Gascoigne

17: "That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice."

Trevor Brooking

16: "The minute's silence was immaculate, I have never heard a minute's silence like that."

Glenn Hoddle

15: "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."

Ron Atkinson

14: "I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester."

Stan Collymore

13: "I couldn't settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country."

Ian Rush

12: "There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way."

Terry Venables

11: "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today."

Steve Lomas

10: "You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out."

Peter Shilton

9: "The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important."

Bobby Robson

8: "The world looks a totally different place after two wins. I can even enjoy watching Blind Date or laugh at Noel's House Party."

Gordon Strachan

7: "You've got to take the rough with the smooth. It's like love and hate, war and peace, all that bollocks."

Ian Wright

6: "My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."

David Beckham

5: "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."

Stuart Pearce

4: "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."

Barry Venison

3: "We haven't been scoring goals, but football's not just about scoring goals. It's about winning."

Alan Shearer

2: "We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us."

Ruud Gullit

1: "A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave."

John Hollins

Bonus Quote:

Often declared to be the most famous of the stupid sport quotes, although said by some to have been spoken tongue in cheek:

“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.”

Bill Shankly (1913-1981), former international soccer player and manager of Liverpool Football Club

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

Hypatia (born c. 350–370; died 415 AD) was a neoplatonist philosopher, astronomer, and mathematician who lived in Alexandria, Egypt, then part of the Eastern Roman Empire. She was a prominent thinker in Alexandria where she taught philosophy and astronomy

MORE ORIGINS OF SUPERSTITIONS

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"Knock on wood to prevent disappointment."

In many cultures, it’s a common superstition for people to knock their knuckles on a piece of wood to bring themselves good fortune or ward off bad luck.

Yet while the phrase “knock on wood”—or “touch wood” in Britain—has been part of the vernacular since at the least the 19th century, there seems to be little agreement on how it originated.

One common explanation traces the phenomenon to ancient pagan cultures such as the Celts, who believed that spirits and gods resided in trees. Knocking on tree trunks may have served to rouse the spirits and call on their protection, but it could have also been a way of showing gratitude for a stroke of good luck.

Yet another theory is that people knocked on wood to chase away evil spirits or prevent them from listening in when they boasted about their luck, thereby preventing a reversal of fortune. Christians, meanwhile, have often linked the practice to the wood of the cross from Christ’s crucifixion.

Other researchers consider knocking on wood a more recent phenomenon. In his book The Lore of the Playground, British folklorist Steve Roud traces the practice to a 19th century children’s game called “Tiggy Touchwood,” a type of tag in which players were immune from being caught whenever they touched a piece of wood such as a door or a tree.

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"Always 'God bless' a sneeze."

In most English-speaking countries, it is polite to respond to another person's sneeze by saying "God bless you." Though incantations of good luck have accompanied sneezes across disparate cultures for thousands of years (all largely tied to the belief that sneezes expelled evil spirits), our particular custom began in the sixth century A.D. by explicit order of Pope Gregory the Great.

A terrible pestilence was spreading through Italy at the time. The first symptom was severe, chronic sneezing, and this was often quickly followed by death.

Pope Gregory urged the healthy to pray for the sick, and ordered that light-hearted responses to sneezes such as "May you enjoy good health" be replaced by the more urgent "God bless you!" If a person sneezed when alone, the Pope recommended that they say a prayer for themselves in the form of "God help me!"

The expression may have also originated from superstition. Some people believe that the custom of asking for God’s blessing began when ancient man thought that the soul was in the form of air and resided in the body’s head. A sneeze, therefore, might accidentally expel the spirit from the body unless God blessed you and prevented this from occurring. Some ancient cultures also thought that sneezing forced evil spirits out of the body endangering others because these spirits might now enter their bodies. The blessing was bestowed to protect both the person who sneezed and others around him.

Interesting facts:

Sneezes are an automatic reflex that can’t be stopped once sneezing starts.

Sneezes can travel at a speed of 100 miles per hour and the wet spray can radiate five feet.

People don’t sneeze when they are asleep because the nerves involved in nerve reflex are also resting.

Between 18 and 35% of the population sneezes when exposed to sudden bright light.

Some people sneeze when plucking their eyebrows because the nerve endings in the face are irritated and then fire an impulse that reaches the nasal nerve.

Donna Griffiths from Worcestershire, England sneezed for 978 days, sneezing once every minute at the beginning. This is the longest sneezing episode on record.

_________

"Hang a horseshoe on your door open-end-up for good luck."

The belief in the magical powers of horseshoes has roots both in the ancient Greeks and Christianity. The Greeks believed that iron could cast off evil and that a horseshoe resembles a crescent, which they considered a symbol of fertility and good luck.

Early Christians adopted this pagan belief and turned a horseshoe into a talisman to protect them from evil, witchcraft and the devil himself.

In the British Isles, on the other hand, the horseshoe and its magical powers are related to the legend of St. Dunstan: Dunstan was a simple man, a blacksmith, in 10th century Britain. One night, the devil paid him a visit and asked him to put a horseshoe on his horse. Instead of putting the shoe on the horse, Dunstan nailed the horseshoe to the devil. In pain, the devil begged Dunstan to remove the horseshoe; however, Dunstan agreed but under one condition. The Devil had to promise to stay away from all houses with a horseshoe above their entrances. Thus, Dunstan became the Archbishop of Canterbury and was elevated to sainthood.

In the British Isles in the Middle Ages, when fear of witchcraft was rampant, people attached horseshoes open-end-up to the sides of their houses and doors. People thought witches feared horses, and would shy away from any reminders of them.

Conventional wisdom states that a horseshoe should be hung pointing up to keep the luck from running out.

Although the belief that a horseshoe had magical powers was transferred from pagan Greeks to Christianity, it has traces in other cultures as well.

In Ireland a bride used to bring a real horseshoe to her wedding for good luck. Greeks still use the horseshoe in their weddings to bring the couple good luck and lots of children. According to a Croatian belief, a horseshoe is put above a bed to keep those sleeping safe from nightmares.. In the British Isles in the Middle Ages, when fear of witchcraft was rampant, people attached horseshoes open-end-up to the sides of their houses and doors. People thought witches feared horses, and would shy away from any reminders of them.

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"A black cat crossing your path is lucky/unlucky."

Many cultures agree that black cats are powerful omens but do they signify good or evil?

The ancient Egyptians revered all cats, black and otherwise, and it was there that the belief began that a black cat crossing your path brings good luck. Their positive reputation is recorded again much later, in the early seventeenth century in England: King Charles I kept (and treasured) a black cat as a pet. Upon its death, he is said to have lamented that his luck was gone. The supposed truth of the superstition was reinforced when he was arrested the very next day and charged with high treason.

Black cats are often a symbol of Halloween or witchcraft. In most Western cultures, black cats have typically been looked upon as a symbol of evil omens, specifically being suspected of being the familiars of witches, or actually shape-shifting witches themselves. Most of Europe considers the black cat a symbol of bad luck, particularly if one walks across the path in front of a person, which is believed to be an omen of misfortune and death.

The black cat in folklore has been able to change into human shape to act as a spy or courier for witches or demons. When the Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock, they brought with them a devout faith in the Bible. They also brought a deepening suspicion of anything deemed of Satan and were deeply suspicious of other Christians, including those of the Catholic, Quaker, Anglican and Baptist denominations. The Pilgrims viewed the black cat as a companion, or a familiar to witches, who were said to "use black cats as an integral part of their craft". These superstitions led people to kill black cats. There is no evidence from England of regular large-scale massacres of "Satanic" cats, or of burning them in midsummer bonfires, as sometimes occurred elsewhere in Europe. In the present day many Westerners, including Christian clergy, have black cats as pets, and very few people attach superstitions to them anymore.

In contrast, the supernatural powers ascribed to black cats were sometimes viewed positively; for example, sailors considering a "ship's cat" would want a black one because it would bring good luck. Sometimes, fishermen's wives would keep black cats at home too, in the hope that they would be able to use their influence to protect their husbands at sea.

By the way:

Vito Corleone's cat in The Godfather was his only animal associate and was seen sitting on Don Vito's lap while he sat in his office during Connie Corleone's wedding ceremony.

Behind the scenes, the cat held by Marlon Brando in the opening scene was a stray Francis Ford Coppola found while on the lot at Paramount. The cat was not originally called for in the script, and the cat with its purring muffled some of Brando's dialogue, and, as a result, most of his lines had to be looped.

The use of the cat in the scene has later been interpreted as representing the hidden claws beneath the Don's warm facade.