Friday, July 5, 2024

RANDOM FACTS


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A pat on the back for Volvo:

Volvo proudly proclaim that: “few people have saved as many lives as Nils Bohlin.” And they are right. Nils Bohlin is the little-known Volvo engineer who invented the V-type three-point safety belt in 1959, and saw his innovation through to universal adoption across the motor industry. His new cross-strap design made seat belts much easier to use, and much safer too. It is hard now to imagine cars without them.

Volvo’s president at the time was Gunnar Engellau, an engineer himself, who had suffered direct personal loss from a road traffic accident. A relative had died, partly because of shortcomings in the two-point belt design—which was not even standard feature in cars at the time. This personal tragedy encouraged Engellau to find a better solution, poaching Nils Bohlin from rival firm Saab, and setting about this problem as a matter of urgency. Volvo would invent a better solution, and be the first car maker to standardise it.

There were two major problems with the historic 2-point belt design, which crosses the lap only. Firstly, the human pelvis is hinged. A single strap doesn’t restrain the torso, leaving passengers vulnerable to severe head, chest and spinal injuries in a collision. Positioned badly, the belt can crush your internal organs on impact. They don't work very well. Secondly, people don’t want to wear them. Until Bohlin’s commission, mid-century seat belts were clumsy and uncomfortable.

Even with the new design improvements, it took six years of promotion to persuade a minority of Swedes to use the new design. Volvo refused to give up and continued marketing and promotion.

Volvo patented the designs to protect their investment from copy-cats and immediately made Bohlin's patent immediately available to all. Having sponsored the R&D, they gifted their designs to competitors, to encourage mass adoption and to save lives.

The 3-point safety belt has saved hundreds of thousands of lives. It has prevented or reduced the severity of injuries for millions of people, making Bohlin’s three-point safety belt among the most important innovations in the automobile's 130-year history.

Source:

Gallery:

Three point seat belt,

Nils Bohlin (1920-2002)

Gunnar Engellau (1907-1988), pictured in 1956

By the way:

Australia was the first country in the world to legislate compulsory seatbelt wearing in front and back seats.

2022 was the 50th anniversary of the seatbelt laws nationwide, in Victoria the law came into effect as early as December 1970 making the state the first place in the world to make seatbelts mandatory. NSW followed and legislated it by November 1971, followed by all other Australian states by January 1, 1972.

Road fatalities had peaked in NSW at around 1300 in 1970, and it was increasing rapidly. Following the introduction of the mandatory seatbelt laws, those numbers began to decrease. In 2020, 284 lives were lost on NSW roads, which is a 78% reduction compared to 1970's figures.

Source:

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A pat on the back for Al Capone:

Yes, that’s right, for the mafia head.

American gangster Al Capone fought to have expiration, or “sell by,” dates put on milk bottles, supposedly after one of his relatives became sick from drinking milk that had expired. But his grandniece gave us a more likely reason: Al Capone was looking for a legitimate business that could fund his lifestyle after the end of Prohibition.

In the 1920s and early 1930s, Al Capone ran the Chicago Outfit, also known as the Chicago Mafia, when gangs battled for control of illegal alcohol distribution during Prohibition. According to Capone’s grandniece, Deirdre Marie Capone, her Uncle Al made over $100 million per year from bootlegging. As Prohibition was nearing its end, Capone needed to find another way to fund his grand lifestyle. But he was tired of the mortal danger that came with his illegal business activities.

Shortly after, Capone thought of milk. It fit his criteria for a legitimate business that could make a lot of money. Almost everyone uses milk every day, especially families with kids. The markup on milk was greater than that of alcohol. Best of all, the Chicago Outfit already controlled bottling facilities for illegal alcohol distribution, which could be adapted for milk.

Some reports say that Al Capone got into the milk business after one of his relatives got sick from drinking milk that had expired. Either way, the lack of regulations on milk production provided Capone with an opportunity to corner the market. He had already developed a reputation for being something of a latter-day Robin Hood in Chicago. During the Depression, Capone opened the first soup kitchen, offering three meals daily to financially struggling individuals and their families. The soup kitchen was so popular that he opened more. But Capone went beyond spending money to help people. He actually went to the soup kitchens and served meals himself. So it seemed in character for him to lobby the Chicago City Council for a law to stamp expiration, or “sell by,” dates on milk bottles to protect the city’s children from harm.

After Chicago passed the law mandating visible expiration dates on all milk bottles, Capone had the ability to effectively control the local milk market.

Three months after his milk business opened, Capone was imprisoned.

Even though Capone went away, milk expiration dates stayed.

Source:

By the way:

The law finally got Capone for tax evasion.

The government charged Capone with evasion of $215,000 in taxes on a total income of $1,038,654, during the five-year period. Capone was convicted on five counts of income tax evasion on October 17, 1931 and was sentenced a week later to 11 years in federal prison, fined $50,000 plus $7,692 for court costs, and was held liable for $215,000 plus interest due on his back taxes.

Due to his good behavior, Capone was permitted to play banjo in the Alcatraz prison band, the Rock Islanders, which gave regular Sunday concerts for other inmates

At Alcatraz, Capone's decline became increasingly evident, as neurosyphilis progressively eroded his mental faculties; his formal diagnosis of syphilis of the brain was made in February 1938. He spent the last year of his Alcatraz sentence in the hospital section, confused and disoriented. Capone completed his term in Alcatraz on January 6, 1939, and was transferred to the Federal Correctional Institution at Terminal Island in California to serve out his sentence for contempt of court. He was paroled on November 16, 1939, after his wife Mae appealed to the court, based on his reduced mental capabilities.

In 1942, after mass production of penicillin was started in the United States, Capone was one of the first American patients treated by the new drug. Though it was too late for him to reverse the damage to his brain, it did slow down the progression of the disease.

In 1946, his physician and a Baltimore psychiatrist examined him and concluded that Capone had the mentality of a 12-year-old child. He spent the last years of his life at his Palm Island mansion, spending time with his wife and grandchildren. On January 21, 1947, Capone had a stroke. He regained consciousness and started to improve, but contracted bronchopneumonia. He suffered a cardiac arrest on January 22, and on January 25, surrounded by his family in his home, died after his heart failed as a result of apoplexy.

Gallery:

Al Capone (1899 – 1947)




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A pat on the back for the Fedele family:

During World War 2, eight of the eleven sons of Philip and Angelina Fedele enlisted and saw action. This was the record for the most men from one family to serve in a foreign war at the same time.

The brothers, ranging in age from 17 to 37, served in nearly every branch of the armed forces: Army, Navy, Marines and Air Corps. They served in Africa, Europe and the Pacific. For their service, they won many ribbons, citations and medals including a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart. One brother was at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese attacked; and oddly, a few of the brothers ran into each other during the war. One pair met in Africa and the other pair on Iwo Jima. Remarkably, all of the brothers returned home alive and well; although, one was wounded by machine-gun fire on Okinawa and another one suffered injury in an airplane crash during training.

While eight sons of Philip and Angelina Fedele left home to serve their country, two others worked defense related jobs. The youngest, only 14 at the time, later served in the Korean War along with two of his older World War II brothers.

Their mother, Angelina, passed away years before WW2 began, leaving their father Philip to raise their eleven sons and three daughters. As was typical in post-depression American, the children took on great responsibility. The daughters helped raise their brothers, while the brothers went off to work at young ages. Not having eight of them around was a huge blow to the family both emotionally and financially, but was a sacrifice they were all happy to make for their country.

Sons and where they served:

Anthony R. Fedele (Marine Corps, b. 1920)—Cpl. Anthony Fedele served as an anti-aircraft machine gunner. He was a witness to the attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941, and took part in the battles for Tulagi, Guadalcanal, and Midway.

Generino A. Fedele (Marine Corps, b. 1925)—Aircraft Mechanic Pfc. Generino Fedele participated in the Philippines Island Campaign (1944-45), as well as in the capture and occupation of Peleliu.

Frank A. Fedele (Army, b. 1912)—T/4 Frank Fedele served as a cook in the Southern Philippines with the 87th Chemical Mortar Battalion.

Nunzio C. Fedele (Army, b. 1917)—Pfc. Nunzio Fedele served as a demolition specialist with the highly active and decorated 1st Infantry Division from Algeria, Sicily and Tunisia, to the Ardennes, Central Europe, Normandy, Northern France, and Rhineland campaigns.

Patrick J. Fedele (Army, b. 1923)—Pvt. Patrick Fedele served for 28 months. Due to an injury stemming from a plane crash during training, Patrick was never sent overseas.

Vincent L. Fedele (Army Air Corps, b. 1919)—Sgt. Vincent Fedele served with the Headquarters Detachment of the 81st Fighter Group which flew P-39’s in the Mediterranean Theater, playing a role in the Anzio landings, as well as in India and China.

Joseph P. Fedele (Navy, b. 1908)—S 1/c Joseph Fedele served with the 14th Naval Construction Battalion, better known as the Seabees, for two years. Joseph was the only brother to be wounded, hit by machine gun fire on Okinawa in 1945 for which he was awarded the Purple Heart.

Salvatore L. Fedele (Navy, b. 1926)—S 2/c Salvatore Fedele served in the Navy from August 1944 to June 1946, and took part in the Liberation and Occupation of the Philippines.

In 2012 the family was inducted into the New York Veterans Hall of Fame.

Gallery:





Thursday, July 4, 2024

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 


FUNNY FRIDAY


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A mixed bag of humour in today's Funny Friday, folks, that hopefully will bring some warmth to the cold days and nights we are experiencing.


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SOME HUMOUR:
__________

A man grew weary of dealing with the world so he created a clone of himself. But something went terribly wrong. The clone was crass, rude and extremely vulgar. He sent the clone of himself into the world anyway to do his work.

The clone return back to him in a few hours and the man was surprised; the clone should've been gone all day. He asked what happened? His clone told him that he didn't like his boss' attitude so he told his boss where he could put his job and told him what a blankety-blank bad manager he was. And so he was fired. On his way back, the clone stopped by to see the man's wife. The clone didn't like her either and told her so. He set terrible things to her and their blankety blank rotten marriage. The clone reported "She wants a divorce".

At first the man cried, realising the wreck his life suddenly was. Then he quickly grew angry at the clone for causing these troubles. He decided, no more! He grabbed the clone and immediately threw him out of the window of his high-rise apartment building. Down the clone fell,m to his death.

The man enjoyed the peace and quiet for a few minutes as he pondered how to pull his life back together. Then there was a knock on the door. He answered it to find the police who were anxious to arrest him. He explained, "No no, this is a mistake. I didn't murder anyone. That wasn't a real person at all." The police continued to arrest him.

"This has nothing to do with murder," they said. "Sir, we are arresting you for making an obscene clone fall."

(I’ll see myself out.)
__________

The old gunfighter is getting worried.

He feels that as he is getting older he is slowing down, and some of the youngsters are getting damn good. He decides he will consult a “gunfighter trainer” to help him improve his technique and show him the latest tricks.

He goes into the bar, and walks up to the gunfighter trainer at a table and tells him what the situation is. The trainer says “I think I can help you. Let me see your style.”

The gunfighter draws and shoots the piano player’s drink off the piano.

“Nice shot” says the trainer. “Why don’t you put your holster a little lower on your hip, and tie down the bottom with a rawhide thong?” The gunfighter does these things, and tries another draw. He shoots the piano player’s cigar out of his mouth.”

“Now here is what I think you should do next” says the trainer. “File the front sight off that revolver and rub axle grease all over it.”

“Will that get it out of the holster faster?” asks the gunfighter.

“Dunno” says the trainer, “but when Wyatt Earp over there finishes playing the piano he’s going to take that thing away from you and shove it up your arse.”
__________

A man is watching two council workers busy in a local park.

One digs a hole, moves a couple of metres and digs another hole, and so on. The other worker follows the first, immediately filling in all the holes the first worker has dug.

The man watching is furious, and approaches them saying, "I'm going to write to the council about this - digging holes and filling them in right away, it's a disgrace."

"Hang on," says one of the workers, "It's not our fault that Charlie's off sick."

"Who's Charlie?" asks the man.

"He's the guy who plants the trees."

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From Bytes May 22, 2015:

Cold Hard Fact

- Charlee Marshall

“Move closer to the wall, my son, and speak into the grille
Confession is the saviour of the soul
If there’s something on your conscience, if you’re feeling weak or ill
Confess... and ye shall once again be whole!
Ask the lord for his salvation, he is waiting for your call”
“I’m afraid I’ve sinned too greatly” said the voice behind the wall.

“Let’s see if I have got it straight - your wife... her name is Liza
She’s inclined to wear her dresses rather short
She was bending over looking for an ice cream in the freezer
When you, behind her, had this lustful thought
She had to lean way over, for she isn’t very tall...”
“And I wanted chocolate brickle” said the voice behind the wall.

“Now, I know you’re newly-married (since you made your vows before us)
But married people often act up thus
It sometimes spoils the pleasure if the sex is too decorous
So I see no reason why to make a fuss
Perhaps your wife objected... did she try to start a brawl?”
“No... I think she rather liked it” said the voice behind the wall.

“Then go, my son, I find no blame... your actions may be kinky
Tell Liza to be careful with her dress
Next time she looks for ice cream to wear something long and slinky
Then her husband will have nothing to confess
We will not throw you out of church... I find no sin at all...”
“Well they threw us out of Woolworths!” said the voice behind the wall.

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

When Carol was told about sex
She said ‘Mother, it sounds so complex.
Do you mean you and father
Went through all that bother
And I’m just the after-effects?’

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GALLERY:







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CORN CORNER:
__________

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
__________

My grief counsellor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
__________

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you for anything, can I!”
__________

The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.
__________

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
__________

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

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Wednesday, July 3, 2024

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

Sent to me by Dave B, thanks Dave . . .




MORE 'RATE MY PLATE'


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Rate My Plate is an online community of members that like to share, via photographs and comments. whatever is on their dinner plate. The group has over 500,000 members.

Below are selected pics and comments from the Facebook page at:

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Sunday Roast by Paul


Comments:

That reminds me, I really need to shave my bikini area...

Is that a rendition of a Sunday Roast Paul, we'll you did try my darling,!!! 👍👍👍👍👍

Where’s the Mint Sauce?

Ok just a guess, tuna mayonnaise on the baked potato?
Take the tuna mayonnaise away and you’ve got a winner!
I have nothing against tuna mayonnaise, with lettuce or cucumber it makes a nice sandwich, but I do not like it on baked potato

A hot mess that's what it is

Roast potato fantastic but just the beans and cheese or with the presumably tuna mayo only, not both together 🤢

Holy hell I wouldn’t want to see that in front of me. It looks like mush 😂

Sunday roast... Tuna and beans.. where's the roast ???

That is not a good looking meal in anyone's eyes.. but I applaud your don't give a f mindset laughing 🤣

Which bit did you roast? The tuna mayo???

resembles the bit of sick that arose in my throat when looking at that.

Is that before or after the stomach pump?

Oh dear did your cat/dog just throw up on your jacket potato, hope it's alright. But let's get back to the matter in hand, can't quite see the roast dinner??????

On what planet is that a roast Paul ?

Rather eat a bowl
Of my dogs food to be honest

Absolutely horrendous wtf is it looks like a pick n mix!!! From a eat all you can from a run down greasy spoon 🤮🤮🤮 vile plate of disgusting shat 😱😱

What the hell is that looks like breakfast served in hell

Did you post the wrong picture
That potato is the only item that’s been in an oven
And by oven I mean microwave

It was probably edible before the cat was sick on the top of it.
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Spatchcocked Tandoori Chicken by Jonathan


Looks like the surface of the sun.

What time can I come round???? Lol 👌

Indian cuisine. Always the best. Glorious.

Oh my!! I could eat the entire plateful!! Twice. At least. Looks incredibly yummy!!


I’ve literally just eaten and this is still making my mouth water!

A ring of fire awaits if you eat all those chillis

I admire the strategically crossed peppers and well placed grilled lemon to preserve modesty.
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Pork Belly by Mark


My favourite dinner, looks amazing!

Hands down the best dish I have ever seen on this page. That looks absolutely incredible 😲 xx

If the top is crunchy then yummy.

My favourite the crackling looks delicious 😋

Love belly pork but getting the rind crispy is an art form

Lovely and crispy, the way I like pork cooked

Looks delicious except for the grav
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Steak and Chips by Siobhan


Looks good, but a little gravy or mushroom sauce would be nice.

Its called rate my plate dear not rate my local restaurant's plate.

leave out the peas and mushies, 10/10 would love to see the inside of the steak, but doesnt look dry

I'd eat that! Hey are you British? I have been trying to find out who eats peas and it seems like the British somehow enjoy them! The rest of that plate looks awesome!

That’s lovely a well cooked steak just how I like it and not running with blood

Depends on taste I like mine medium rare.

Sorry but steak too overdone for me. Looks burnt, Different strokes for different folks. Rest looks lovely.

Steak looks good 👍 are they frozen chips ? 😨

Good for advertising, but would be a real bugger to actually eat 😂 I'd rather my steak was on the plate not a bed of peas and chips so I didn't have to rearrange everything 🤦‍♀️ that is still the chef’s job might as well say come into the kitchen and plate it up.

Looks great. Want the meat pink tho but YES PLS

looks lovely but steak is far too over done for me 🤣😂🤣 x

U forgot to grill that tomato 🍅

Also, why is the plate soo bloody small with different amounts of peas
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Homemade Bengali Family Meal by Tasneem


Bengali food is unmatched 💯🤌🏼👌🏻

Looks fantastic 🤩Love naga, hotter the better for me 👍

Isn't Naga like a really spicy chili pepper

That’s mouthwatering and I bet the smell is fantastic.15/10.👌👌👏👏.

The plates look fairly empty tbh, but the food looks good.

It looks delicious but I'm unable to eat spicy or hot food and presentation is amazing 👏

looks absolutely amazing. I love :- Bangladeshi and Indian food! Full of flavour, spice and LOVE! 

Omg ! Can I come if I promise to do the washing up? That looks amazing
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Spag Bol & Mushy Pees by Lee


Maybe try putting it all in a large Yorkshire Pudding next time you drop this culinary delight.

What monster has mushy peas with spag bol 😆

Love a good spag bowl but not with mushy peas

I like spag bol. I like mushy peas. But not together, peas and thank you!

Spaghetti Bolognese is a beautiful dish, and peas either garden or Mushy don't belong, only Parmesan cheese grated on top !!

Next time make a smiley face out of it

When your mum’s from Italy & your dad’s from Leeds 😉

Irish flag
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Breakfast by Leo



What did it look like before he ate it?

Leo, there are people you can talk to, you don’t have to go through this alone

My dog ate my pillow and has just sicked it up by Leo!

Yummy. Sweetcorn on cat sick on mashed potatoes for brekky. Food of champs 🤢

I’m sure it looked & tasted better the 1st time you ate it

Well done with the sweetcorn though Great camouflage & will help it speed through

I’ve decided to use this photo for a weight loss plan. Every time I feel like eating I will look at this ! I can almost feel the pounds dropping already!

So that’s where the bag of cat sick I cleaned up yesterday went.

0/10, wow who hurt you. This pile of sick is without a doubt the most ridiculously disgusting thing I have seen all week. Do yourself and everyone else a favour and just give up on this cooking stuff, it's obviously never going to be your fortè

I hope your dog is feeling better now.

Leo is on his school holidays while mum n dad are at work

How’d the cat end up after taking it to the vet? Thoughts and prayers

Curious...what is the greyish bit?
Not curious enough to want to eat it, but this is going to wake me up at 3am with a "what on earth was that" query.

I've seen sweetcorn in my poo in better condition

That reminds me, I watched a great cyst popping video last night
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Classic Jacket by Matt


That a very small fried egg!

Love a double jacket potato fajita

I used to think you can't go wrong with a classic. Now I'm having second thoughts

Wait, did we go back to 1923? That looks like a depression meals if I've ever seen one.

Cut and fry that potato in a pan, add some cheese and scrambled eggs and but it all back into that tortilla!!

The jackets look at least... reasonable, although I'd wager those were started in a microwave and then finished in an oven...... That's about as far as I can go with judging this. The tortilla is the plate, and if we're going to rate that, it's raw....

Potatoes look great but what is going on with the tortilla??

That looks like a Jackita. 2 baked potatoes in a fajita wrap, if I'm not mistaken. A timeless classic indeed.

I am sure a food bank will supply a tin of beans for the jackets and a tin of tuna to put in the wrap!! Hope this is helpful. Other than that a jacket wrap may need 14 pints of water to wash it down!

I know times are hard mate, but ffs at least wack some butter, beans or cheese on it. It looks as dry as a nuns chuff!

Is the tortilla being used as a plate? And I can only assume (and hope) something delicious was going to be added to the jackets?

Cooking instructions from Matt "once you have cooked and prepared everything to be dryer than a Somalian drought, add a light sprinkling of dust to compliment"

Where's the rest of the meal, 🤔🤔🤔
__________

Tea Time by David


The in flight meal in business class of North Korea airlines

David - blink twice if you need help 😳

Mmmmm.....Grey eggs....yummy (said absolutely no one!)

“David! David! Dinners ready on the floor. Good boy. Good boooyyy. Yes you are such a good boy David “

This made my stomach bubble just looking at it

I’m not easily put off my food , but i wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole 🫣.

Hhmmm baked beans next to Tuna 😭 Hhhmmm boiled egg on Baked Potatoe 😭 Not for me 🤭

Boiled egg is overcooked that's why it's grey outside the yolk.

Old Mother Hubbard could've made a better meal with her empty cupboard

Boiled that egg for a week

Them eggs are as spoiled as my nanns.

Difficult to accomplish 6 types of wrong with only 5 core ingredients but, somehow, our David has managed it.

Dave .. your presentation needs a bit of work

The boiled egg on the jacket potato, the tuna mixing with the beans, I just don't know what drives a human being to commit such a crime

Back of the cupboard dinner.

The egg and potato, both look like they died a decade ago! I'd of used the beans and cheese to bury that culinary disaster. As for the egg, it needs sending off to a culture lab to identify it

I must admit David, this is the sort of random meals I often do, I would have added lettuce and sliced cucumber for a bit of colour contrast, cheese looks amazing, is that Tuna Mayo?
__________

Salad Cream Booty by Paul


Recipe, please

Technical question from us gourmet recipe collectors - do you serve these 3 slices individually? Or stacked as a triple but with no top? Or do you add a fourth slice as a top but with no slalad cream? Or do all 3 of these slices get a top of their own?
Asking for a friend who is searching for the illusive Michelin Star accolade

Missing the butter, be perfect otherwise. Loved salad cream on bread and butter growing up

That bread is going to be drier than Tutankhamen’s flip flops.

I love a salad cream sandwich so it's a 10/10 from me!

I love the way the salad cream glides effortlessly from one slice to the next

I wouldn't know whether to eat that or nail it to the wall in the Tate Modern

There are two things wrong with this - the white bread & the salad cream 🤮

Could you please post the recipe as my mother and father inlaws are coming for dinner and I would dearly love to serve up this marvellous creation.

Arguably the most revolting thing I've ever seen. Salad cream belongs in the bin

Love a salad cream sarnie

Could have at least buttered the bread first 🤣

I used to have that everyday when was a kid I loved it but with butter to 😂😂

Yak. When we were younger my 2 brothers used to eat salad cream sandwiches or tomato sauce sandwiches. I hated the smell and still do.
Can’t even stomach salad cream. Makes me retch if I taste it

Think I'll save this for a celebration meal....something classy and exclusive!

Mmmmm, lovely but needs dome slices of raw onion to make it special! ❤️

The detail is outstanding, but you've made it far too complicated.

Put some chips on it and it's perfect

Need some cheese & pickled beetroot with that

There is not a single redeeming quality about this.

That bread looks borderline stale lol

Very creative! how do you think of these delicacies, I’m curious to know?



Tuesday, July 2, 2024

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 




POETRY SPOT


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The following poem was sent to me by Steve M, thanks Steve.

Peter Blyth from Western Australia wrote the 'After Ewe' poem based on a real happening.

AFTER EWE

The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock.
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.

He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
'Typical bloody sheep,' he thought, 'they've got no common sense,
'They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence.'

The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree. 

He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down,
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim,
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.

He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam.

The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.

She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side.
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed,
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.

The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away.
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But nor was he prepared for what he was about to see.

He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view,
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch,
The farmer yelling wildly 'Come back here, you lousy bitch!'

The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car,
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!



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Monday, July 1, 2024

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 



INTERESTING PEOPLE


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LOLA MONTEZ

A Bytes post on Lola Montez was suggested to me by friend and relative Peter W,  who had been reading about her and had become fascinated.

So here it is, Peter . . .

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Lola Montez, photographed in 1860

Eliza Rosanna Gilbert, Countess of Landsfeld (1821 – 1861), better known by the stage name Lola Montez, was an Irish dancer and actress who became famous as a Spanish dancer, courtesan, and mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria, who made her Countess of Landsfeld. At the start of the Revolutions of 1848 in the German states, she was forced to flee. She proceeded to the United States via Austria, Switzerland, France and London, to return to her work as an entertainer and lecturer.

Early life:

Eliza Rosanna Gilbert was born into an Anglo-Irish family, the daughter of Elizabeth ("Eliza") Oliver, who was the daughter of a former High Sheriff of Cork and member of Parliament for Kilmallock in County Limerick, Ireland.

In 1823 the family moved to India, where her father died not long after. Her mother, who was then 19, married Lieutenant Patrick Craigie the following year. Craigie quickly came to care for the young Eliza, but her spoiled and half-wild ways concerned him greatly. Eventually, it was agreed she would be sent back to Britain to attend school, staying with Craigie's father in Montrose, Scotland. But the "queer, wayward little Indian girl" rapidly became known as a mischief-maker. On one occasion, she stuck flowers into the wig of an elderly man during a church service; on another, she ran through the streets naked.

Eliza's determination and temper were to become her trademarks.

In 1837, sixteen-year-old Eliza eloped with Lieutenant Thomas James, and they married. The couple separated five years later, in Calcutta, India, and she became a professional dancer under a stage name.

Lola Montez portrait by Joseph Heigel before 1840

When she had her London debut as "Lola Montez, the Spanish dancer" in June 1843, she was recognised as "Mrs. James". The resulting notoriety hampered her career in England, so she departed for the continent, where she had success in Paris and Warsaw. At this time, she was almost certainly accepting favours from a few wealthy men, and was regarded by many as a courtesan.

In 1844, Eliza, now known as Lola Montez, made a personally disappointing Parisian debut.

She met and had an affair with Franz Liszt, who introduced her to the circle of George Sand. After performing in various European capitals, she settled in Paris, where she was accepted into the city's literary bohemia, becoming acquainted with Alexandre Dumas, with whom she was also rumoured to have had a dalliance.

In Paris she met Alexandre Dujarrier, "owner of the newspaper with the highest circulation in France, and also the newspaper's drama critic". Through their romance, Montez revitalised her career as a dancer. Later on, after the two had their first quarrel over Lola's attendance at a party, Dujarrier attended the party and, in a drunken state, offended Jean-Baptiste Rosemond de Beauvallon. When Dujarrier was challenged to a duel by de Beauvallon, Dujarrier was shot and killed.

Germany:

In 1846, she arrived in Munich, where she was discovered by and became the mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria. There was a rumour that when they first met, Ludwig asked her in public if her breasts were real. Her response to the question was to tear off enough of her garments to prove that they were. She soon began to use her influence on the king and this, coupled with her arrogant manner and outbursts of temper, made her extremely unpopular with the Bavarian people (particularly after documents were made public showing that she was hoping to become a naturalised Bavarian subject and be elevated to nobility). Despite opposition, Ludwig made her Countess of Landsfeld and Baroness of Rosenthal on his next birthday in 1847, and along with her title, he granted her a large annuity.

Lola Montez (1847), painted for Ludwig I of Bavaria

Lola Montez (Gouache 1847)

King Ludwig I of Bavaria

For more than a year, she exercised great political power, which she directed in favour of liberalism, anti-Catholicism, and in attacks against the Jesuits. Her ability to manipulate the king was so great that the Minister of State, Karl von Abel, was dismissed because he and his entire cabinet had objected to Lola being granted Bavarian nationality and the title of Countess. The students at Munich University were divided in their sympathies, and conflicts arose shortly before the outbreak of the revolutions of 1848, which led the king, at Lola's insistence, to close the university.

In March 1848, under pressure from a growing revolutionary movement, the university was re-opened, Ludwig abdicated in favor of his son, King Maximilian II, and Montez fled Bavaria. Her career as a power behind the throne was permanently at an end. It seems likely that Ludwig's relationship with Montez contributed greatly to his forced abdication despite his previous popularity.

London:

After a sojourn in Switzerland, where she waited in vain for Ludwig to join her, Lola made one brief excursion to France and then removed to London in late 1848. There she met and quickly married George Trafford Heald, a young army cornet (cavalry officer) with a recent inheritance. However the terms of her divorce from Thomas James did not permit either spouse's remarriage while the other was living, and the beleaguered newlyweds were forced to flee the country to escape a bigamy action brought by Heald's scandalised maiden aunt. The Healds resided for a time in France and Spain, but within two years, the tempestuous relationship was in tatters, and George reportedly drowned in 1856. In 1851 she set off to make a new start in the United States, where she was surprisingly successful at first in rehabilitating her image.

American career:

From 1851 to 1853, Lola performed as a dancer and actress in the eastern United States, one of her offerings being a play called Lola Montez in Bavaria. In May 1853, she arrived on the west coast in San Francisco, where her performances created a sensation.

Lola Montez with Alights-on-a-Cloud, 1850s

Lola Montez, lithograph

Lola Montez in 1851, daguerreotype

She married Patrick Hull, a local newspaperman, in July and moved to Grass Valley, California, in August. Her marriage soon failed; a doctor named as co-respondent in the divorce suit brought against her was murdered shortly thereafter.

Lola remained in Grass Valley at her little house for nearly two years. The restored property went on to become California Historical Landmark No. 292.

Australia tour:

In June 1855, Lola departed the U.S. to tour Australia and resume her career by entertaining miners at the gold diggings during the gold rush of the 1850s. She arrived in Sydney on 16 August 1855.

Historian Michael Cannon claims that "in September 1855 she performed her erotic Spider Dance at the Theatre Royal in Melbourne, raising her skirts so high that the audience could see she wore no underclothing at all. Next day, The Argus thundered that her performance was 'utterly subversive to all ideas of public morality'. Respectable families ceased to attend the theatre, which began to show heavy losses."

Her Spider Dance consisted of her jiggling and wiggling imaginary spiders out of her costume before raising her skirt high enough so that the predominantly male audience would realise that she was wearing no undergarments.

She earned further notoriety in Ballarat when, after reading a bad review of her performance in The Ballarat Times, she attacked the editor, Henry Seekamp, with a whip.

At Castlemaine in April 1856, she was "rapturously encored" after her Spider Dance in front of 400 diggers (including members of the Municipal Council who had adjourned their meeting early to attend the performance), but drew the wrath of the audience after insulting them following some mild heckling.

She departed for San Francisco on 22 May 1856

Later life in the US:

Lola failed in her attempts at a theatrical comeback in various American cities. She arranged in 1857 to deliver a series of moral lectures in Britain and America written by Rev. Charles Chauncey Burr. She spent her last days in rescue work among women.

Burial:

By 1860, Lola was showing the tertiary effects of syphilis, and her body began to waste away. She died at the age of 39 on 17 January 1861 and is buried in Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn.

Lola Montez's grave in Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, New York

Gallery:


Lola is said to have whipped any man who dared interrupt one of her shows.



Poster for Lola Montes (Montez), Theatre Royal, Melbourne, 1855





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