Wednesday, May 24, 2023
FROM THE VAULT: GIOTTO, CIRCLES AND MORE
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I canme across a reference to Giotto, which inspired me to repost the item below, primarily because of the story associated with Giotto . . .
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From:
Bytes
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
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People: Giotto
Italian painter and architect Giotto di Bondone (1266-1337) is today regarded as the first of the great artists of the Italian Renaissance. According to his biographer, Giorgio Vasari(1511-1574), Giotto deserted the then prevalent Byzantine style, initiating instead "the great art of painting as we know it today, introducing the technique of drawing accurately from life, which had been neglected for more than two hundred years."
There is an interesting anecdote about Giotto recounted in Vasari’s bio. In Vasari's words (I have added the paragraphing):
After this he was called to Assisi by Fra Giovanni di Muro, at that time general of the order of S. Francis, and painted in fresco in the upper church thirty two stories from the life and deeds of S. Francis, which brought him great fame. It is no wonder therefore that Pope Benedict sent one of his courtiers into Tuscany to see what sort of a man he was and what his works were like, for the Pope was planning to have some paintings made in S Peter's.This courtier, on his way to see Giotto and to find out what other masters of painting and mosaic there were in Florence, spoke with many masters in Sienna, and then, having received some drawings from them, he came to Florence. And one morning going into the workshop of Giotto, who was at his labours, he showed him the mind of the Pope, and at last asked him to give him a little drawing to send to his Holiness.Giotto, who was a man of courteous manners, immediately took a sheet of paper, and with a pen dipped in red, fixing his arm firmly against his side to make a compass of it, with a turn of his hand he made a circle so perfect that it was a marvel to see it Having done it, he turned smiling to the courtier and said, "Here is the drawing." But he, thinking he was being laughed at, asked, "Am I to have no other drawing than this?" "This is enough and too much," replied Giotto, "send it with the others and see if it will be understood."The messenger, seeing that he could get nothing else, departed ill pleased, not doubting that he had been made a fool of. However, sending the other drawings to the Pope with the names of those who had made them, he sent also Giotto's, relating how he had made the circle without moving his arm and without compasses, which when the Pope and many of his courtiers understood, they saw that Giotto must surpass greatly all the other painters of his time.This thing being told, there arose from it a proverb which is still used about men of coarse clay, "You are rounder than the O of Giotto," which proverb is not only good because of the occasion from which it sprang, but also still more for its significance, which consists in its ambiguity, tondo, "round," meaning in Tuscany not only a perfect circle, but also slowness and heaviness of mind.
Find it hard to imagine someone drawing a perfect freehand circle? I think mine come close . . .
These days there are even World Championships in freehand circle drawing, check out some amazing examples by clicking on the following links:
See some of the competitors, competition and winner of the 2007 World Championship:
Does anyone else think he looks like Voldemort?
One final comment:
Giotto’s sending of a circle on a piece of paper to the Pope to evidence his artistic skill reminds me of an equally brief communication between Victor Hugo and his agent. Nervous about the release of a new work, Hugo left on a holiday so as to be away from the scene of a possible flop. Curiosity got the better of him and he sent a letter to his agent that said simply “?”. His agent, advising that the work was a success, wrote back “!”.
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Added item:
Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893 – June 7, 1967) was an American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks, and eye for 20th century urban foibles. From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker travelled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement in left-wing politics led to a place on the Hollywood blacklist.
Her response to an editor who sent her a telegram whilst she was on her honeymoon, pressuring her for overdue work: “Too fucking busy, and vice versa.”
- Quoted in The Unimportance of Being Oscar (1968) by Oscar Levant
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Tuesday, May 23, 2023
SITESEEING
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Snippets from various recent websites . . .
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A New Name for Swastika Mountain
Source:
National Geographic
May 20, 2023
Swastika Mountain is a peak in Lane County, Oregon, in the United States. It is located within Umpqua National Forest.
The mountain took its name from the extinct town of Swastika (1909), which was reportedly so named because a rancher there branded his cattle with the image of a swastika. Swastikas weren’t always evil, they were actually regarded as a good luck symbol long before Hitler adopted it as the symbol for the Nazis.
On New Year’s Day 2022, a couple of hikers had to be rescued from Swastika Mountain by the National Guard. The news item came to the attention of one Joyce McClain, who campaigned the U.S. Board on Geographic Names (USBGN) to rename it. She was successful, despite objection from the Hindu American Foundation, and it was renamed Mount Halo, after a local Indigenous tribal leader from the 1800s.
Chief Halo (pictured) made a stand by refusing to be relocated to the Grand Ronde Reservation as local tribes were removed from their land
In its May 1 quarterly review, the USBGN had 45 proposals pending. A landowner in Colorado is seeking to change the name of “Poison Lake” to “Golden Valley Lake.” (The proponent “reports that it is not poisonous and there are no health issues for livestock and wildlife,” USBGN staff reports.) In California, petitioners want to change “Chinaman Lake” to “Chinese Miners Creek.” And some were simple requests to name places that had previously gone unnamed.
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Aristotle ridden like a horse:
Source:
Amusing Planet
May 17, 2023
The tale of Phyllis and Aristotle is a medieval cautionary tale about the triumph of a seductive woman, Phyllis, over the greatest male intellect, the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle.
The story of the dominatrix and the famous intellectual was taken up by artists from the 12th century onwards, in media from stone sculpture in churches to panels of wood or ivory, textiles such as carpets and tapestries, engravings, oil paintings, brass jugs (aquamanile), and stained glass.
The story goes that Aristotle advised his pupil Alexander to avoid Phyllis, the seductive mistress of his father, the king, but Aristotle is himself captivated by her. She agrees to spend the night with Aristotle but only on condition that she can first ride him in the garden, like a horse. He agrees, not knowing that she has secretly told Alexander what to expect. He witnesses the scene. When Alexander saw his dignified old tutor crawling over the palace grounds with a bit in his mouth and Phyllis on his back brandishing a whip, he was shocked. He confronted his teacher, who sheepishly excused himself saying: “If thus it happened to me, an old man most wise, that I was deceived by a woman, you can see that I taught you well, that it could happen to you, a young man.”
Examples of depiction in art:
Stone sculpture, Cadouin Abbey, France, 12th century
Panel of casket with scenes of romances, France, ivory, 1330-1350
Carpet, Freiburg, Germany, 14th century
Aquamanile in the form of Phyllis and Aristotle, prob. Maasland, 1400–1450, brass
Phyllis riding and slapping Aristotle, Aquamanile, Maasland, c. 1400, brass
Drypoint of Aristotle ridden by Phyllis by the Housebook Master. c. 1490
Engraving, Master MZ, c. 1500
Engraving, Lucas van Leyden, c. 1520
Stained glass, Germany, c. 1520
Aristotle and Phyllis, the Master of Ottobeuren, wood, 1523
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These Two Ancient Pompeii Victims Died in an Earthquake—Not a Volcanic Eruption:
Source:
Smithsonian Magazine
May 19, 2023
When people think of Pompeii, they mostly think of its destruction by the volcanic eruption in 79AD and of the bodies reserved as voids in the volcanic ash. These have been used as moulds to make plaster casts of the figures in their final moments of life.
Recently Italian archaeologists uncovered the bodies of two men who, they ascertained, were killed not by the volcano but by the disaster that immediately preceded it.
Although volcanic eruptions are often associated with earthquakes, these are mostly small. The Pompeii eruption, however, was preceded by an earthquake which caused devastating damage.
The newly discovered skeletons showed signs of bone fracturing, indicating that “the men probably died as a result of multiple injuries sustained as the building they sought refuge in caved,” as the Guardian’s Angela Giuffrida and Jude Dunhill write. Researchers think that one of the men raised an arm to protect himself from the falling stone.
Much of Pompeii has not yet been excavated. As technology improves, researchers are able to gain even more insights into the ancient city. For many of them, the scale of the disaster strikes a chord.
“The discovery is very grounding as they are effectively digging up human beings, which is sad,” says Zuchtriegel, per the Guardian. “Human mortality is so fragile.”
Some other Pompeii pics:
Casts of bodies in the Garden of the Fugitives. The victims were adults and children, several found close together and others scattered over the area. They died apparently while trying to find a way out of the Nocera Gate, as they were above the layer of pumice that had already reached a height of 3.5 m, and were caught by the volcanic flow which was fatal.
Archaeological workers extract the mummified bodies of two adults and three children from earthen mold at the Garden of the Fugitives on May 1, 1961.
How the casts at Pompeii have come about.
Body from the Garden of the Fugitives.
Tourists look at the casts of bodies found in the excavations as they visit the ruins of the Macellum at Pompeii.
The remains of an entire family that succumbed to the eruption.
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Monday, May 22, 2023
SOME FACTS . . .
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Avocados are a fruit, not a vegetable. The fruit of the avocado tree is botanically a large berry containing a single large seed.
The name comes from a meeting of Californian farmers in 1915. The fruit had been increasing in popularity in the US and was being grown commercially. It was known by its original Mexican and South American name, ahuacate, which people in the US found hard to pronounce. Importantly too, it was the Aztec word for testicle, named for its shape and reputation as an aphrodisiac.
The farmers came up with a new name: avocado. They informed dictionary publishers of the change and that the plural was spelled "avocados," not "avocadoes". They named their own group the California Avocado Association.
The approach worked. Today, California accounts for nearly 90 percent of all avocados grown in the United States.
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Trypophobia refers to disgust or fear of a pattern of holes. Seeing clusters of holes in foods, flowers and everyday items like sponges can trigger feelings of revulsion.
Trypophobia is gaining recognition as an anxiety problem that can affect quality of life.
If you have a problem with this. . .
…. you may have Trypophobia.
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Allodoxaphobia is a rare social phobia which is characterised by an overwhelming and irrational fear of other people's opinions, making dinner party arguments or work meetings hellish experiences.
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Australia is wider than the moon. The moon is 3400km in diameter, while Australia’s diameter from east to west is almost 4000km.
This doesn’t mean, however, that Australia is bigger than the moon because Australia’s land mass is flat compared to the moon’s rounded body – Australia’s surface is 7,617,930 sq. km compared to the Moon’s surface area of 37,940,000 sq km.
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Human teeth are the only part of the body that cannot heal themselves. Teeth are coated in enamel which is not a living tissue.
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It's illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland. It's considered animal abuse because they're social beings and get lonely.
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Toast in its "drinking" senses originates in the practice of immersing browned or charred spiced bread in a drink, and after wishes of goodwill or health or other complimentary words are said about a person or persons (for example, newlyweds) in honor or celebration, the cups of wine, ale, etc., are clinked together in recognition or acknowledgment and are then subsequently sipped, or pounded (depending on the drinker).
William Shakespeare makes mention of this custom of adding toast to wine in his comedy The Merry Wives of Windsor: "Go, fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in 't," demands the hard-drinking Sir John Falstaff of his follower Bardolph.
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The unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. It was apparently chosen because of its connection with dominance and chivalry as well as purity and innocence in Celtic mythology.
The unicorn was first introduced to the royal coat of arms of Scotland around the mid-1500s.
Prior to the Union of the Crowns in 1603, the Scottish coat of arms was supported by two unicorns.
5887
When King James VI of Scotland also became James I of England, he replaced one of the unicorns with the national animal of England, the lion, as a display of unity between the two countries.
Scottish unicorns in heraldry are always shown with gold chains wrapped around them. This was a way of showing the power of Scottish kings, that only they had the strength to tame the untameable.
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Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise.
On Venus the sun rises in the west. A day there lasts a little more than 243 Earth-days, actually making it longer than a Venusian year, which is only about 224 Earth-days long.
Many scientists believe that the long days are a result of the sun's strong pull on the planet. But scientists are still puzzled by Venus's retrograde, or backward, rotation. A team of scientists from the French research institute Astronomie et Systemes Dynamiques have proposed a new explanation.
Current theory holds that Venus initially spun in the same direction as most other planets and, in a way, still does: it simply flipped its axis 180 degrees at some point. In other words, it spins in the same direction it always has, just upside down, so that looking at it from other planets makes the spin seem backward. Scientists have argued that the sun's gravitational pull on the planet's very dense atmosphere could have caused strong atmospheric tides. Such tides, combined with friction between Venus's mantle and core, could have caused the flip in the first place.
Now Alexandre Correira and Jacques Laskar suggest that Venus may not have flipped at all. They propose instead that its rotation slowed to a standstill and then reversed direction. Taking into account the factors mentioned above, as well as tidal effects from other planets, the team concluded that Venus's axis could have shifted to a variety of positions throughout the planet's evolution.
Sunday, May 21, 2023
Saturday, May 20, 2023
POETRY SPOT: EUREKA STOCKADE
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The Cross of the South
On 3 December 1854, during the Victorian gold rush, the gold miners at the diggings in Ballarat rebelled, caused by various grievances, including the cost of mining permits (the government having imposed harsh fees to try to force the miners back to their regular jobs); brutal enforcement of the requirement to have the permits on their person, even when the miners were working in water; oppression and the fact that the force of soldiers and constabulary was included oppressive ex-convicts and miscreants.
There had been a preceding period beginning in 1851 of peaceful demonstrations and civil disobedience. The October 1854 murder of a gold miner, however, and the burning of a local hotel (which miners blamed on the government), ended the previously peaceful nature of the miner's dispute. Open rebellion broke out on November 29, 1854, as a crowd of some 10,000 swore allegiance to the Eureka Flag. Gold miner Peter Lalor became the rebellion's de facto leader, as he had initiated the swearing of allegiance.
The flag under which the miners fought at the stockade at Eureka is today on display at the Ballarat Fine Art Gallery, which has the ownership of the remnants:
The miners at the goldfields of Ballarat in 1854 were a mix of nationalities, religions and political allegiances but all united in their opposition to the corruption and brutality to which they were subject. One miner, an Italian named Raffaello Carboni, was at the front of the rebellion and subsequently wrote a firsthand account of the events and what led to them. He was not present at the attack but did observe it.
Carboni wrote of the flag under which the miners gathered:
There is no flag in Europe or in the civilised world half so beautiful... the flag is silk, blue ground, with a large silver cross; no device or arms, but all exceedingly chaste and natural.
He also recorded the oath of Peter Lalor, on bended knee with head bowed and one hand holding the edge of the flag:
We swear by the Southern Cross to stand truly by each other and fight to defend our rights and liberties.
What better oath for the miners to take. A collection of miners of different creeds, colours, faiths, political allegiances and origins swore not to a political entity or to a divine being, but to the Southern Cross above them, the constellation under which they toiled, lived and slept, the stars from which they took bearings for directions. An oath to stand by each other for their rights and liberties, under a flag which for the first time in Australian history stood for independence, fairness and freedom.
The battle took place at the Eureka diggings, named after the “Eureka lead”, a deep seam of gold being mined by the diggers. Under the leadership of Peter Lalor they constructed a stockade covering about an acre of ground. The authorities could not allow a treasonous rebellion and attacked at dawn on Sunday, 3 December 1854. Whereas the miners had had 1,500 men present on the Saturday, only 150 were present on the Sunday in the belief that an attack would not take place on the Sabbath.
The Battle of Eureka Stockade ended the short-lived rebellion on December 3.
A group of 13 captured rebels (not including Lalor, who was in hiding) was put on trial for high treason in Melbourne, but mass public support led to their acquittal.
Several reforms sought by the rebels were subsequently implemented, including legislation providing for universal adult male suffrage for Legislative Assembly elections and the removal of property qualifications for Legislative Assembly members. The Eureka Rebellion is controversially identified with the birth of democracy in Australia and interpreted by many as a political revolt.
The following is a poem by an anonymous poet, describing the events:
The Cross of the South
‘Twas the month of December, the year ‘54
When the men of Eureka rebelled;
When they swore that the flag that they’d made for themselves
Hither proudly aloft would be held.
Oh, the miners took arms in the stockade that day,
The bold words passed from mouth to mouth –
‘We will stand by this flag and the stars that she bears,
White stars of the Cross of the South.’
Though the hot blood of heroes ran fast in their veins,
There was but one man they obeyed!
And the hero of heroes they chose from their ranks,
Peter Lalor, their hero they made.
Peter Lalor said, ‘Now you must stand by your guns,
Fear not the cannon’s fierce mouth;
For I see that the soldiers are gathering now
To tear down the Cross of the South!’
Captain Thomas, he charged the Eureka Stockade
With three hundred troops by his side;
Fire and steel met them there and they fell back again,
But the first of the miners had died!
And the smoke of the battle had scarce cleared away,
When the soldiers came charging once more!
And the miners were killed as they stood round the flag,
Or fell from the wounds that they bore.
Bold Peter Lalor lay shot on the ground
Where the soldiers had left him for dead!
The flag that he loved lay there by his side,
The white starts all stained with the red!
Peter Lalor, he rose on his knees in the dust,
These wild words poured from his mouth –
‘You can murder us all in black tyranny’s name,
But you can’t kill the Cross of the South.’
anon
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Friday, May 19, 2023
MORE TYPOS
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Ever come across the term “typosquatting”? I hadn’t until I was looking up something for this post.
It is the deliberate misspelling of a word and regsitering it as a domain name. Then people who misspell a word end up on that site and are hit with advertising or diverted to another site. It can also result in scamming money.
As an example, registering a site “goggle” or “leggo”.
Similar abuses to typosquatting are:
- Combosquatting - no misspelling, but adding a word that appears legitimate, but that anyone could register.
- Doppelganger domain - omitting a full stop or inserting an extra fullstop
- Vilification – adding terms such as “sucks” to a domain name
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Some more about typos, this time the worst Biblical typos from history . . .
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The Wicked Bible:
“Thou shalt commit adultery . . .” (Exodus 20:14)
The 1631 edition of the King James Bible, dubbed “The Wicked Bible”, accidentally misprinted “shall” instead of “shalt not”.
The printers were severely fined and deprived of their printing licence. Most editions were recalled and destroyed.
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The Judas Bible:
“Then Judas said to the twelve . . .” (John 6:67)
Known as the Judas Bible, this 1610 Geneva Bible mixed up Judas and Jesus. Instead of Jesus speaking to the disciples, Judas is identified as the speaker. The 1613 King James Bible made the same error in Matthew 26:36, featuring a pasted-in slip correcting the “Judas” to “Jesus”.
The "Judas Bible" (1613) containing a misprint in Matthew 26:36, in which the name "Judas" appears instead of "Jesus". In this copy, a slip of paper has been pasted over the misprint (circled in red).
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"Printers Bible", 1612:
In some copies, Psalm 119:161[24] reads, "Printers have persecuted me without a cause", rather than "Princes have persecuted me..."
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"More Sea Bible", 1641:
"...the first heaven and the first earth were passed away and there was more sea", rather than "...the first heaven and the first earth were passed away and there was no more sea", from Revelation 21:1
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"Unrighteous Bible" or "Wicked Bible", 1653, Cambridge Press:
Another edition carrying this title omits a "not" before the word "inherit", making 1 Corinthians 6:9 read "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the kingdom of God?".
In addition, Romans 6:13 reads "Neither yield ye your members as instruments of righteousness into sin", where it should read "unrighteousness".
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"Sin On Bible", 1716:
Jeremiah 31:34 reads "sin on more" rather than "sin no more".
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"Vinegar Bible",1717: J. Baskett, Clarendon Press:
The chapter heading for Luke 20 reads "The Parable of the Vinegar" instead of "The Parable of the Vineyard."
One reviewer called this particular edition "a Baskett full of errors," what with its being replete with numerous other specimens of typographical errata throughout. One copy sold for $5,000 in 2008.
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"The Fools Bible", 1763:
Psalm 14:1 reads "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God", rather than "there is no God".
The printers were fined £3,000 and all copies ordered destroyed.
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"Murderer's Bible", 1801:
"Murmurers" is printed as "murderers", making Jude 16 read: "These are murderers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men's persons in admiration because of advantage."
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"To-remain Bible", 1805:
In Galatians 4:29, a proof-reader had written in "to remain" in the margin, as an answer to whether a comma should be deleted. The note inadvertently became part of the text, making the edition read "But as then he that was born after the flesh persecuted him that was born after the Spirit to remain, even so it is now."
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"Standing Fishes Bible", 1806:
"Fishes" replaced "fishers" making Ezekiel 47:10 read "And it shall come to pass, that the fishes shall stand upon it from Engedi even unto Eneglaim; they shall be a place to spread forth nets; their fish shall be according to their kinds, as the fish of the great sea, exceeding many."
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"Wife-hater Bible", 1810:
"Wife" replaces "life" in this edition, making Luke redundantly read "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own wife also, he cannot be my disciple."
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"The Large Family Bible", 1820:
Isaiah 66:9 reads: "Shall I bring to birth and not cease to bring forth?" rather than "Shall I bring to birth and not cause to bring forth?".
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"Rebecca's Camels Bible", 1823:
"Camels" replaces "damsels" in one instance, making Genesis 24:61 read "And Rebecca arose, and her camels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebecca and went his way."
__________
"Affinity Bible", 1927:
Contains a table of family affinities that includes the line "A man may not marry his grandmother's wife."
__________
"Owl Bible", 1944:
"Owl" replaces "own", making 1 Peter 3:5 read, "For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their owl husbands." The error was caused by a printing plate with a damaged letter n.
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Thursday, May 18, 2023
LAUGH
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Welcome to this week’s Laugh, readers.
Last week I posted a joke that relied on a typo between rabbi and rabbit. Today the theme of rabbis is continued, with a number of the jokes coming from the vault.
Enjoy, readers.
Caution, though, there is risqué content ahead.
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SOME HUMOUR:
__________
A reporter is in Jerusalem interviewing a rabbi at the Wailing Wall and asks the rabbi what he prays for.
The rabbi says, “I pray that the Jews and the Muslims can learn to get along and love each other. I pray to have all disease eradicated and for no one to starve. I pray that one day the world may live in peace.”
“That’s beautiful,” the reporter says. “Do you think it works?”
The rabbi says, “What do you think? I’m praying to a fucking wall!”
__________
An old Jewish man is taken ill with the flu
His wife looks after him, and as he continues to worsen, she asks him if there's anything she can get to help.
"Yes, go get a priest."
"A priest? But we're Jewish!"
"What, I should make the Rabbi sick too?"
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__________
A few golden oldies (some may say mouldy oldies) here but ones that have stood the test of time, so much so that some of my faves (eg the Minsk joke) have been posted more than once.
__________
On a very windy day, a rabbi was walking along when a strong gust of wind blew his hat off his head. The rabbi ran after the hat, but the wind was too strong. It kept blowing his hat farther and farther away.
A non-Jewish young man, seeing what had happened, ran after the hat, caught it and gave it back to the rabbi. The rabbi was so grateful that he gave the young man 20 dollars and blessed him.
The young man was excited and decided to go the race track and with the rabbi's blessing, he decided to check the program and place the entire 20 dollars on a horse. After the races he went home and recounted his very exciting day to his father.
"I arrived at the fifth race and looked at the program. I saw this horse named 'Top Hat' was running. The odds on this horse were 100 to 1 but since I received the rabbi's blessing I bet the entire 20 dollars on 'Top Hat' and guess what? He won!"
"In the next race, there was a horse named 'Stetson' at 30 to 1 so I bet the entire amount of my winnings on him, and guess what ... I won again!"
"So did you bring the money home?" asked his father.
"No," said the son, "I lost it all on the last race. There was a horse named 'Chateau' that was a heavy favourite so I bet everything on him, and since 'Chateau' means 'hat' in French I figured he was a sure thing."
"You fool!" said the father. "Hat in French is 'chapeau' not 'chateau!'" Exasperated, his father then asked, "So who won the race?"
"A real long shot," said the son. "Some Japanese horse named 'Yarmulke'!"
__________
The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2000 roubles, or one from Minsk for 1000 roubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.
They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening; "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approached from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side." The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?" The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they have gotten the cow. "You are truly wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"
The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Minsk."
__________
A priest and a rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane.
After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”
The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”
“Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich.”
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”
The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith.”
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally the rabbi quietly observed, “Beats the shit out of a bacon sandwich doesn’t it?”
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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:
A yogi from far-off Beirut
For women did not give a hoot,
But his organ would stand
In a manner quite grand
When a snake-charmer played on his flute.
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RELIGION SPOT:
A Spiritual Leader lay quietly. He was dying.
The disciples had gathered around his bed and recited some holy verses trying to make his last journey divine and pleasant.
They wanted to give him warm milk to drink but he declined.
One of the disciples took the glass back to the kitchen and decided to add some brandy, considering it good for health.
He poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at the Spiritual Leader's bed, they lifted his head gently and held the glass to his lips.
The very frail man drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it, he had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.
As his eyes brightened, the disciples thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their Spiritual Leader.
Sir....! the disciples asked earnestly, "Please, give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."
He raised himself up very slowly in the bed on one elbow, looked at them and said,
"Don't sell that cow."
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GALLERY:
The following was sent to me by John P, thanks John . . .
. . . and these were sent by Vince C, thanks Vince . . .
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CORN CORNER:
__________
I dig, you dig, he dig, she dig, we dig, they dig.
It's not a long poem, but it's very deep.
__________
Farmer Dave went to see his neighbour Dan one day and when he pulled up he was was suprised to not see Dan out in the field working.
So he looked around a bit and found Dan in the barn with some R&B playing and a candlelit dinner set out by the John Deere.
Dave asked what was going on and Dan said. "Well, if you gotta know my marriage has been on the rocks a bit. We went to couples therapy and the Doc said that I'm not putting enough effort into our relationship and I need to do something sexy to a tractor."
__________
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888
So when someone asks you, tell them it's 12345678
__________
I've got a friend whose 1/2 Indian.
Ian.
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