Ugly Buildings, Part 1

_____________________________

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then perhaps ugliness is the same. If so, not everyone will agree with my selections for the world’s ugliest buildings. More in future Bytes.

_____________________________

Blues Point Tower, Sydney:

Let’s start with a local example, Blues Point Tower at McMahons Point in Sydney. An apartment building with 144 apartments on 25 levels, it was designed by architect Harry Seidler (1923-2006) and completed in 1962. At the time it had been suggested that the area be rezoned industrial. Seidler instead proposed that McMahons Point be a residential area with multiple high rise buildings, 10 in the same style as BPT and 7 smaller medium-rise. Neither suggested zoning eventuated and Blues Point Tower remains the only building that was constructed as part of Seidler’s grand plan. In 2002, when interviewed, Seidler commented:

"Why do you want to ask me about that tower? Why? Come on, this is old news, stupid bloody nonsense, I'm sick to death of it. It's a journalistic gimmick. I've always thought Blues Point Tower is one of my best buildings and I stand by that. Anybody who can't see anything in it ought to go back to school."

Today it is official policy to preserve foreshores for use by the public. Blues Point Tower remains a pimple on the face of the foreshore so let’s be grateful that there is only one.

_____________________________

Elephant Building, Bangkok:

The Elephant Building, or Chang Building, is a high-rise building in Bangkok, Thailand. Completed in 1997, it was designed to resemble an elephant, has 32 floors and is 102 metres high. It combines residential, commercial and office functions. Its eyes are huge windows, its tail is made up of 20 stories of smoked-glass enclosed rooms jutting from its rear, and its tusks house the offices of the bulding's management company. It has been described as “a cubist abstract design imbued with a sense of architectural humor”, but not only is it an ugly building, it is an ugly elephant as well.

_____________________________

Selfridges Building, Birmingham, England:

The phrase “Beauty is only skin deep” first appeared in written form in a 1616 poem by John Davies. Additional wording was added in the centuries that followed until we ended up with:

"Beauty is but skin deep,

Ugly goes to the bone;

Beauty dies and fades away,

But ugly holds its own.”

The Selfridges Building in Birmingham, part of the Bullring Shopping Centre, illustrates that poem perfectly. The building, a department store, was completed in 2003 and has a steel framework with sprayed concrete facade. It is regarded today as an iconic architectural landmark and is seen as a major contribution to the regeneration of Birmingham. The facade comprises 15,000 anodised aluminium discs mounted on a blue background. The jury is still out on this one, for every person who hates it you will find another who loves it. When I see the pics I want to pop the anodised discs like popping bubblewrap.

_____________________________

Landmark Theatre, Devon, England:

The Landmark Theatre in Devon is an award winning theatre in the coastal town of Ilfracombe. It is locally referred to as Madonna's Bra, a reference to its shape and that of an iconic brassiere worn by the singer Madonna.

Madonna wearing the bra during the 1990 Blond Ambition tour.

The theatre was built to replace 'The Pavilion Theatre', a Victorian building partly destroyed in a fire during the 1980s and later demolished. The architectural merit of the theatre is widely questioned, since the style of the buildings bears no resemblance whatsoever to any others around it. The building is also a source of criticism of Ilfracombe town planners over the years to pull down Victorian buildings and to replace them with modern structures that do not fit with the character of the town. From a distance the towers look like the cooling towers of a power station.

Update: 

On Monday 23rd January 2017, it was announced that North Devon Theatres Trust which owns this theatre and The Queens Theatre in Barnstaple, had gone into administration. All future performances at both theatres are cancelled until further notice.

_____________________________

Hotel Hotel, Canberra:

When I drive to my father in law’s place in Canberra I drive past the above hotel, opened in 2014 and named “Hotel Hotel”.

The jury is still out on this one as well, with opinions for and against. Okay, call me a traditionalist, say that I am lacking in imagination, to me the facades are not a thing of beauty.

The following is from the hotel’s website:

Collaborating with Australian artists and designers like Lucy McRae, Anna Wili Highfield, Charles Wilson and Adam Goodrum, the directors, Nectar and Johnathan Efkarpidis have created an environment that is highly creative, full of texture, personality and surprise. . . Hotel Hotel has two faces - one, to the east, is all timber slats and open elements, the other is in formed concrete with an intricate facetted facade.

I am booked to attend a function there later this month, it will be interesting to see the interior.

Some internal pics:

Foyer

Foyer suitcase wall

Concierge desk

Quote for the Day

Funny Friday

_____________________________

What else as an appropriate theme for Funny Friday than hospitals and medical . . .

_____________________________

Apparently a true nurse's story:

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

_____________________________

A man is in hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"

The nurse raises his gown, holds his genitals and checks his testicles. She says "There's nothing wrong with them, sir."

The man takes off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely, but listen very very carefully . . .  Are-my-test-results-back?!"

_____________________________

Joe, a mechanic, was removing a cylinder head from a Harley-Davidson motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

Joe shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?' The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to Joe. Joe straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix 'em, put in new parts and when I finish, this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?'

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered in Joe's ear, 'Try doing it with the engine running.'

_____________________________

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital emergency room. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, “You're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to a lawyer and the other to a social worker."

The man quickly responds, "The lawyer's".

The doctor says, "Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

The man says "I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the lawyer's probably never used his. So I'll take the lawyer's."

_____________________________

I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. 

They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.

_____________________________

My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. 

I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. 

I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. 

Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

_____________________________

A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. 

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

_____________________________

A man returns from a trip to Amsterdam and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a series of tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital and the phone by his bed rings.

"This is your doctor," says the voice on the phone. "We have the results back from your tests, and I'm sorry, you have an extremely contagious and deadly sexually transmitted disease known as G.A.S.H. "G.A.S.H?" replies the patient. "What the hell is that?" "It's a combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes," explains the doctor.

"My gosh, Doc!" screams the man in a panic, "what are we going to do?" "Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes and pita bread," says the doctor matter-of-factly. "Will that cure me?" 

"Well no," says the doctor, "but it's the only food that will slide under the door."

_____________________________

A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. 

She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself, it would hurt. 

The doctor told her to demonstrate. 

She touched her nose and it hurt. 

She touched her stomach and it hurt. 

The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes. 

"Your finger is broken!"

_____________________________

Gallery:

_____________________________

Corn Corner:

Abe came home one day and found his wife Esther in tears.

"Darling, what's the matter?" 

"Oh Abe," cried Esther, "Doctor Cohen says I have tuberculosis." 

"What! A big healthy woman like you has tuberculosis? Ridiculous," said Abe, "I'll call Doctor Cohen and get this sorted out right now." 

So Abe called his doctor. "Doctor, Esther says you told her she has tuberculosis." 

The doctor said something to Abe and with that, Abe began laughing. 

"So what's so funny about my having such a dreadful disease?" asked Esther. 

"Esther, Doctor Cohen didn't say 'tuberculosis', he said 'too big a tochus'." 

(Tochus: buttocks)

_____________________________

Quote for the Day

Some Word Origins and the Schitt Family History

_____________________________

There is a TV ad currently playing for insurer AAMi that shows a family car and caravan broken down in a remote country location described on their map as “Woop Woop”, with a directional sign pointing to “Ship Creek”. See the ad at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFD6iiavcrk

It raises some interesting aspects about origins . . .

_____________________________

Woop Woop:

The term Woop Woop is Australian and refers to an imaginary isolated and backwards town or area, thereby meaning far away from anything and remote. Hence expressions such as “He lives way beyond Woop Woop.” 

A similar Australian expression is “beyond the black stump". 

Overseas equivalents are “Boondock” (United States) and “out in the sticks” (UK).

Some possible origins:

• One possible origin of the term is that it derived from the nickname given to men who carried fleeces in shearing sheds, after the sound they made as they ran around.

• It was also the name of a sawmill near the town of Wilga in South West of Western Australia that was abandoned in 1984.

• It has been suggested that it is a corruption of Whoop-Up, the name of a backwoods American gold-mining town in E L Wheeler’s popular book Deadwood Dick on Deck.

The term came into popular usage in the 1920’s.

The town of Wauchope holds an annual Woop Woop Cup horse racing day and, in 2016, celebrated 100 years.

_____________________________

Ship Creek:

The humour in the use of the term is that it is a play on words, the real expression being “up Shit Creek”, meaning to be in an awkward situation, in an unpleasant predicament and/or in deep trouble.

The origins are not clear or precise.

It is known that the use of the mythical place name of Shit Creek in the above context was already in use in the US in the 1860’s. 

From the middle of the 20th century the words “without a paddle” were added.

_____________________________

Bonus item:

The Schitt Family History Finally Revealed

Most people are at a loss for a response when someone says - "You don't know Jack Schitt."

Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 Children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins - Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parent's wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyhenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son named Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable throughout childhood, subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were: Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride - Piza Schitt.

So, now if someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt"' you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but everyone on the Schitt family list.

Quote for the Day

Post-Its and Messages

_____________________________

It feels like the ubiquitous Posts-Its Notes have been with us always.

Some facts and trivia about Post-Its . . . 

_____________________________

In 1968, a scientist at 3M in the United States, Dr. Spencer Silver, was attempting to develop a super-strong adhesive. Instead he accidentally created a "low-tack", reusable, pressure-sensitive adhesive. For five years, Silver tried to interest his colleagues at 3M, both informally and through seminars but without success.

Meanwhile, 5 years later, another scientist at 3M was having his own problems. Arthur Fry attended choir practice each Wednesday evening and he used small bits of paper to mark those hymns in his hymnal that they would be practising. Unfortunately his marker notes would fall out. He recalled colleague Spry’s seminar about his glue that wouldn’t stick and came up with the idea of removable sticky notes. According to Fry, later: “I thought, what we have here isn't just a bookmark, iIt's a whole new way to communicate."

After having the employees of 3M test the idea and receiving favourable feedback, the company launched the idea commercially in 1977.

_____________________________

The product was originally marketed under the name “Press ‘n Peel”, becoming “Post-Its” in 1979.

The iconic Canary Yellow colour was chosen because a lab next door to Fry only had scrap yellow paper on hand.

_____________________________

Both Silver and Fry won 3M's highest honours for research and numerous awards within the international engineering community. Silver still works at 3M, specializing in adhesives technology. In his spare time, he has also won a reputation as an accomplished painter in pastels and oils. Fry retired in the early 1990’s.

_____________________________

The Post-it Note was elevated to an art form when it was included in the "Humble Masterpieces" exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City.

_____________________________

3M built the World's Largest Pink Ribbon out of 75,000 neon pink Post-it Super Sticky Notes. The ribbon was placed more than 18 stories high on a billboard in Times Square throughout a windy October in honour of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

_____________________________

Post-It notes received an upgrade in 2003 when 3M launched a new version of the Post-It note with super sticky glue that has better adhesion to vertical surfaces.

_____________________________

In 2001, the patent for the glue that 3M uses on Post-It notes expired, so many other companies now make similar sticky notes. However, 3M retains the rights to the name and the use of the yellow colour.

_____________________________

In 1989 a family left a Post-it Note on their front door during Hurricane Hugo and it was there 3 days later. Their trees weren’t.

_____________________________

Which brings me to what started all of this, my coming across a reference to Subway Therapy.

After Donald Trump was elected Pres of the U S of A, people began posting messages on Post-Its on a wall at Union Square Station in New York City. The wall messages were a way for New Yorkers and those traveling through the Union Square Station in New York City to express themselves without getting into an argument with loved ones or strangers about President-elect Trump. It was started by artist Matthew Chavez, who goes by the artist name Levee. He provided the notes and pens, encouraging people to leave their feelings about the US presidential election written on Post-It notes. Not all were anti. The idea spread to other cities, other walls. Six weeks after the message wall commenced, following the inauguration of President Trump, the messages were removed. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced however that a large portion of the inspiring and deeply personal messages would be archived by the New York Historical Society.

Gallery:

_____________________________

The idea is not new. 

After 9/11, people began posting sticky labels on a wall in Union Station with the names of people who died in the attacks. The notes also contained the places of birth of the deceased and sometimes had personal messages added. Over the years the messages have faded, some have gone, but others are renewed by being overwritten in pen. The authorities have left the messages intact and the wall remains a moving memorial to those who died on 9/11.

Gallery: