FACTS

 

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The Darvaza gas crater, also known as the Door to Hell or Gates of Hell, is a burning natural gas field collapsed into a cavern near Darvaza, Turkmenistan. The floor and especially rim of the crater are illumined by hundreds of natural gas fires. The crater has been burning since the 1980's, as how the crater formed is unknown but it is said that a Soviet oil rig fell into the crater in 1971, and a geologist decided to get rid of the rig by setting the pit on fire. The resulting gas-fed flames continue burning to this day.

The burning natural gas field in Derweze, Turkmenistan. This image is made from three 17mm shots stitched together and the field of view is larger than it may appear (the field has roughly the size of two basketball courts).

Some facts:

• The crater is 30m (99 feet) deep in the centre and 69m (226 feet) wide.

• The temperature inside the crater can reach 1,000 degrees C (1,832degrees F).

• Visitors can spend the night in yurts pitcheed beside the crater.

• In 2014 explorer and adventurer George Kourounis was the first individual to descend into the crater and reach the bottom, wearing fire resistant gear. He says that in that gear he felt “ a bit like a baked potato.”

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Salar de Uyuni is the world's largest salt flat, or playa, at over 10,000 square kilometres (3,900 sq mi) in area. It is in southwest Bolivia, near the crest of the Andes at an elevation of 3,656 m (11,995 ft) above sea level.

Incahuasi island in the center of the Salar.

Some facts:

• The Salar serves as the major transport route across the Bolivian Altiplano and is a prime breeding ground for several species of flamingos.

• It has been used as a filming location for movies such as Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017; as planet Crait).

• The Palacio de Sal (Spanish for "Palace of salt") is a hotel built of salt blocks at the edge of Salar de Uyuni. The building was constructed of about 1 million 35-cm (14-inch) salt blocks, which are used for the floor, walls, ceiling and furniture, including beds, tables, chairs and sculptures. The sanitary system has been restructured to comply with the government regulations. The hotel has a dry sauna and a steam room, a saltwater pool and whirlpool baths.

Palacio De Dal

• The salt forms eye-catching hexagon shapes on the surface. Groundwater seeping up to the surface evaporates, leaving a crust of salts and other minerals that had been dissolved in the water. Most striking, this process results in low ridges of concentrated salt that divide the playa into polygons: mostly hexagons with a smattering of pentagons and other geometric shapes.

• During the rainy season (November to March) the water accumulates on the surface of the Salar de Uyuni and creates a giant mirror that perfectly reflects the sky and clouds above. It has been dubbed “The Mirror of God”.

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Hidden Beach is part of the Marieta Islands in Mexico.

Some facts:

• Invisible from the outside, no boats can make their way into the little bay, so would-be visitors must hop into the water and swim under the rocks to reach their destination. Hidden Beach is only accessible through a water tunnel that must be swum with a snorkeling mask but no fins (to protect the delicate sea bed).

• Only swimming and sunbathing is allowed.

• The strange formation of the ‘hidden beach’ is due to military explosives testing in the 1900s, which left several craters and caves on the islands. However, an outcry led by Jacques Cousteau in the 1960s put an end to this practice, along with any other harmful human intervention.

• Due to federal regulations, time inside Hidden Beach is limited to 20 minutes.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

SOME MORE BADASS PEOPLE . . .

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From:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/15-of-the-biggest-badasses-who-ever-lived-that-youve-probabl

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Hugh Glass

Illustration of Hugh Glass and his legendary bear attack published at the time for a newspaper.

While scouting for game in Grand River in 1823, Hugh Glass ran into a grizzly-bear mom who attacked him to defend her two cubs.

Unable to reach his rifle as they wrestled on the ground, Glass was able to escape from her death grip and stab her with his knife while she shredded his face, chest, arm, and back with her claws. His wounds were so gruesome that his fellow trappers simply placed a bear hide over him as a funeral shroud and left him for dead so they could get out of the hostile territory and away from the Native Americans who had recently killed half of their crew. With pretty much anyone else, the whole horrendous story would have ended there.

But not Hugh Glass. When Glass eventually regained consciousness, he set his own leg, wrapped himself in his bear hide shroud, and started crawling along the banks of the Cheyenne River.

During the insane trek across country that followed, he prevented gangrene from infecting his wounded back by lying on a rotting log and allowing maggots to eat his dead flesh, sustained himself by killing and eating rattlesnakes, and crawled overland for six weeks until he reached civilization — which was really surprised and impressed to see him alive.

His story has been the basis of two feature-length films: Man in the Wilderness (1971) and The Revenant (2015).

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Juliane Koepcke

Revisiting the crash site for a documenttary

On Dec. 24, 1971, a Peruvian commercial airliner crashed in a thunderstorm over the Amazon, killing every one of the 92 crew members and passengers aboard, except for one person...

High school senior Juliane Koepcke fell a total of 2 miles from the sky into the Amazon rainforest strapped to her seat — and walked away from the accident. For 10 days. Through the jungle. With a concussion, a broken collarbone, and a hole in her right arm. Then she met up with some local lumberman and took a canoe home.

After recovering from her injuries, Koepcke assisted search parties in locating the crash site and recovering the bodies of victims. Her mother's body was discovered on 12 January 1972.

Koepcke returned to her parents' native Germany, where she fully recovered from her physical injuries.

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Dr. Leonid Rogozov

In 1961, Rogozov developed peritonitis, meaning that he would have to get his appendix taken out or die. The problem? He was the only doctor stationed at the Novolazarevskaya Station in Antarctica at the time, the nearest help was a thousand miles away, and a massive blizzard was forming, which meant that he would have to perform the appendectomy on himself.

With two non-medically trained researchers standing by to pass him tools, Rogozov used a mirror, some novocaine, and a scalpel to remove his appendix over the course of an excruciating two-hour operation. In 1961 he was awarded the Order of the Red Banner of Labour, which is some cool Soviet award for being a total badass.

The operation started at 02:00 local time on 1 May with the help of a driver and meteorologist, who provided instruments and held a mirror so Rogozov could observe areas not directly visible. Rogozov lay in a semi-reclining position, half-turned to his left side. A solution of 0.5% novocaine was used for local anesthesia of the abdominal wall. Rogozov made a 10–12 cm incision of the abdominal wall, but while opening the peritoneum he accidentally cut the cecum and had to suture it. Then he exposed the appendix. According to his report, the appendix was found to have a dark stain at its base, and Rogozov estimated it would have burst within a day. The appendix was resected and antibiotics were applied directly into the peritoneal cavity. General weakness and nausea developed about 30–40 minutes after the start of the operation so that short pauses for rest were repeatedly needed after that. By about 04:00 the operation was complete.

After the operation, gradual improvement occurred in the signs of peritonitis and in the general condition of Rogozov. Body temperature returned to normal after five days, and the stitches were removed seven days after the operation. He resumed his regular duties in about two weeks.

The incident resulted in a change of policy, and thereafter, extensive health checks were mandatory for personnel to be deployed on such expeditions.

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Jane Todd Crawford

In December 1809 in Green County, Kentucky, Jane Todd Crawford was informed that the thing she thought was a beyond-term pregnancy was actually a massive 22.5-pound ovarian tumor. In those days no one had ever successfully removed an ovarian tumor, but JTC wasn't the type to give up easily.

Tumor in tow, she rode horseback 60 miles to Danville to meet up with Dr. Ephraim McDowell, who was willing to cut the thing out of her in an operation that had never been previously attempted.

In those days, anesthesia was for wimps, and Jane opted for a dose of opium and five or six attendants to hold her down. She kept her spirits up by singing hymns and psalms until it was all over. Then she up and lived for another 32 years.

Grave of Jane Todd Crawford

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Agustina de Aragón

Agustina de Aragón became known as “the Spanish Joan of Arc” during the Spanish War of Independence, when, after showing up at a battle to bring apples to the gunners, she ended up running in the wrong direction in what was supposed to be a retreat of Spanish soldiers and attacking the French cannons at point blank range with a cannon of her own, annihilating an entire wave of attackers.

The Spaniards were so inspired and shamed that they turned around and ran back to help her out. After a short battle, the French decided they were nowhere near crazy enough to take on Agustina and her friends and gave up.

Later on, she was captured by the French, who were about to rue the day they ever met her, because she made a daring escape and took over a band of guerrillas, which she proceeded to lead on a series of raids against the French army.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

FUNNY FRIDAY

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It’s nice to have Bytes functioning normally again and for Funny Friday to go out when it’s supposed to.

Enjoy today’s humour, Byters, but there is some risqué content.

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SOME HUMOUR:

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A man goes for a walk in the park. On his walk, he sees two men sitting on a park bench and looking very down.

“What’s wrong?” he asked them.

One of the men looks up at the man and lets out a long sigh: “Take a seat and I’ll tell you.”

Curious, he sits down next to the two men.

“The paint’s wet,” the man says.

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After the Change of Command ceremony at an Army base, the new base commander sees a bench being guarded by two Privates. He asks the outgoing base commander the story behind that, outgoing base commander says it was that way when he took command. They check with the guy before, it was that way when he took command. Going back through prior commanders at the base, it was always like that when they took command. Eventually, they reach a 100 year old retired General. When they ask him, he’s incredulous - “You mean the paint still isn’t dry?”.

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The Olympian gold medallist in cross-country-skiing was being interviewed on TV and it came up in the interview that, what with training and all, he hadn't seen his wife for more than a year.

The interviewer asked, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "So, what's the first thing you plan to do when you get home, then?"

The gold medallist blushed furiously and said "No, no, I can't answer that on television, that is way too personal! Why don't you ask me, instead, the second thing I will do when I get home?"

"Alright, fine, what is the second thing you will do when you get home?"

The gold medallist responded, "Take my skis off.”

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A kindergarten student was having trouble putting on his boots, and asked his teacher for help.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. Finally they got both boots on. She grimaced when the little boy said, "They're on the wrong feet."

Sure enough, they were. The teacher kept her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the correct feet. The little boy then announced, "These aren't my boots." The teacher sighed and pulled the boots off.

The boy then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."

The teacher felt like crying, but she mustered up the strength to wrestle the boots back onto his feet. "Now," she said, "where are your mittens?"

The boy replied, "I stuffed them in my boots...."

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#1

A farmer drove over to his neighbour’s house and knocked on the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your mom or dad home?” The farmer asked the boy

“No, they went in to town.” The boy replied

“Well, how about your brother Howard?” The farmer asked

“No, he went with mom and dad.” The boy said

The farmer stood there for a minute shifting from one foot to another and mumbling when the boy says

“I know where the tools are if you need to borrow one or I could give my dad a message for you.”

“Well,” The farmer said uncomfortably “I wanted to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant.”

The boy thought for a moment then said

“You’ll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

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#2

It’s the postman’s last day before retiring.

When he gets to Mrs Cohen’s house she opens the door, asks him to come inside and takes him to the kitchen where she gives him a bowl of chicken soup. When he has finished the soup she takes him upstairs, where she proceeds to make love to him.

Afterwards she gives him a 5 dollar bill.

The postman is confused and says “Mrs Cohen, you have given me chicken soup, made love to me and now you give me a five dollar note. I’m puzzled.”

She replies: "Ahhh, this morning I told my husband that this was your last day and I asked what we should give you. He said ‘Fuck him, give him five dollars,’ but the soup was my idea.”

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

(pp is an abbreviation for ‘pages’)

As he filled up the order book pp

He said, “I should get higher ww.”

So he struck for more pay

But alas, now, they say,

He is sweeping the elephant cc.

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GALLERY:

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CORN CORNER:

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What did the atheist name her son?

Godfrey

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The "second" time Hansel and Gretel found a gingerbread cottage in the woods, they sent someone else to take a trial nibble first.

This is called "Munch Housen by Proxy"

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DDid you know, that the temptation to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight",

is never more than a whim away?

A whim away.

A whim away..

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I bought a shirt and some neckwear from Ebay that used to belong to the guy from the Mamas & the Papas. . .

All the sleeves are brown and the tie is gray

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

FIRST WORLD THINKING

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

ASHES TO ASHES . . .

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

ASESOP’S FABLES

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Aesop's Fables, or the Aesopica, is a collection of fables credited to Aesop, a slave and storyteller believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620 and 564 BCE. Of diverse origins, the stories associated with his name have descended to modern times through a number of sources and continue to be reinterpreted in different verbal registers and in popular as well as artistic media. The fables originally belonged to the oral tradition and were not collected for some three centuries after Aesop's death. By that time a variety of other stories, jokes and proverbs were being ascribed to him.

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The Two Travellers and the Bear

The Fable:

Two Men were traveling in company through a forest, when, all at once, a huge Bear crashed out of the brush near them.

One of the Men, thinking of his own safety, climbed a tree.

The other, unable to fight the savage beast alone, threw himself on the ground and lay still, as if he were dead. He had heard that a Bear will not touch a dead body.

It must have been true, for the Bear snuffed at the Man's head awhile, and then, seeming to be satisfied that he was dead, walked away.

The Man in the tree climbed down.

"It looked just as if that Bear whispered in your ear," he said. "What did he tell you?"

"He said," answered the other, "that it was not at all wise to keep company with a fellow who would desert his friend in a moment of danger."

The Moral:

Misfortune is the test of true friendship.

Another version states:

After the bear left without injuring the man who had feigned being dead, the man in the tree came down to his comrade and jokingly asked what the bear had been saying to him. "It was some good advice," said his friend; "he told me never to trust someone who deserts you in need."

Other commentaries:

Words are nothing, till they are fulfilled by actions; and therefore we should not suffer ourselves to be deluded by a vain hope, and reliance upon them.

It is wise to diligently examine into the fidelity of those we have to deal with, before we embark with them in any enterprise, in which our lives and fortunes may be put to hazard by their breach of faith.

Poetic moral:

Those people who run from their friends in distress,

Will be left when themselves are in trouble, I guess.

Gallery:

BYTES IS BACK

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Yesterday was the first emailed Bytes in weeks and hopefully they will now continue.

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NEWS ITEM: AKUBRA HAT COMPANY SOLD

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News report:

Billionaire Andrew ‘Twiggy’ Forrest buys Akubra brand with ex-wife

After 147 years in the same family, iconic Australian hat brand Akubra has been snapped up by billionaire business tycoons Andrew ‘Twiggy’ Forrest and his ex-wife Nicola. In a bombshell multimillion-dollar deal, few had any inkling about the shock takeover until earlier this week, after the Forrest and Akubra-owning Keir families sat down together and finally signed off on the agreement. The lucrative deal between the families has been years in the making, according toThe Sunday Telegraph’s exclusive report.

Akubra has been run entirely by the one family for well over a century, when the siblings’ great-great grandfather Benjamin Dunkerly – who had a knack for machinery and hat making – left England for Tasmania in 1874.

He saw a lost business opportunity in Australia’s rabbit problem, with the animal wreaking havoc for farmers at the time, prompting culling efforts as they competed with domestic livestock for food.

By 1905, Dunkerly had hired a young Englishman with millinery prowess of his own, Stephen Keir I, who eventually married Benjamin’s daughter, Ada, and together they began a succession of Keirs at Akubra’s helm.

The handsome felt hats, made with rabbit fur, were propelled into becoming an integral part of Australia’s national identity, with Akubras going on to be given as gifts to visiting dignitaries, worn by Australia’s Olympians and military, as well as being donned by Hollywood stars.

https://www.news.com.au/finance/business/other-industries/billionaire-andrew-twiggy-forrest-buys-akubra-brand-with-exwife/news-story/794ac5d3f5af9e738ac824f7edc9239a

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Some pics:

Andrew 'Twiggy' Forrest and his ex-wife Nicola

Crocodile Dundee

Archbishop Mark Coleridge gifted an Akubra to Pope Francis.

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And, to finish off and because Bytes has returned, a hat joke from a past Bytes post. However, it is risque . . .

From Bytes, May 5, 2017:

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A few weeks ago I posted a joke recounted to me by trivia competitor and friend, John. It concerned a Jewish man buying alligator shoes. After I posted that joke John took me to task for not having told it properly, stopping just short of saying I had ruined it. He therefore sent me an email with his version.

Here are the two versions:

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As I posted it –

Moshe had always wanted a pair of alligator shoes but had never been able to afford them. One day he sees a pair in the Selfridges Sale priced at only £39.99. He couldn’t believe it. They even had his size. So he buys them and proudly wears them to go home.

When he gets home, he stands in front of his wife and says, "Sadie, do you notice anything different about me?"

She looks him up and down and says, "Moshe, you look the same to me. You’re wearing the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same trousers. So you tell me, what’s different?"

But Moshe won’t give up easily. He goes into the bedroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, other than his new shoes.

Once again he stands in front of Sadie and says, "Sadie, now do you notice anything different about me?"

Once again she looks him up and down, then says, "Moshe, it looks the same to me. It's hanging down just as it was hanging down yesterday. No doubt it will be still hanging down tomorrow."

Angrily, Moshe says, "Do you know why it’s hanging down, Sadie? It’s hanging down because it’s looking directly at my new shoes!"

Sadie replies, "You should have bought a hat!"

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As John sent it to me:

Hymie, a little old Jewish tailor, who has bought himself and his wife nothing in all their years together, is walking home from work when he passes a shoe shop.

There in the middle of the window is a pair of alligator skin shoes.

Hymie is smitten.

“I must have these shoes,” he says as he walks excitedly into the shop.

He tries the shoes on. They are a perfect fit.

The shop assistant offers to wrap them.

“No,” says Hymie. “I’m going to vear them home.”

On his way home, he calls out to passers-by: “Hey, lady! Look at my new shoes!” “Hey, mister! Look at my new shoes!”

He arrives home, still buoyed by the excitement of having his alligator skin shoes.

“Rachel,” he calls to his wife.

“Vot is it?” she says.

Hymie motions to her to look at him. He asks: “Vot do you see vot’s different?”

Rachel looks dismissively: “Vot do I see vot’s different? The same old balding head, the same old ugly face, the same old pot belly. Vot’s different?”

Hymie leaves the room, then returns completely naked – apart from the new shoes.

“Now, vot do you see vot’s different?” he says.

“Vot do I see vot’s different?” says Rachel. “The same old balding head, the same old ugly face, the same old pot belly, the same old limp thing hanging down.”

“Vot do you mean ‘hanging down’,” says Hymie. “It’s pointing at my new shoes.”

“Next time,” says Rachel. “Buy a new hat!”

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

LEARNED . . .