VINTAGE POSTCARDS

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A glimpse into another era, in most cases before computers, social media, emails, mobile phones and TVs, when mail was delivered a few times per day and people sent postcards to advise where they were and what they were thinking and doing.

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AUSTRALIA:

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Fashionable Edwardian couple extend ‘Hands Across the Sea’, c. 1910.

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‘Two Silly Asses’ at Ocean Grove, Victoria, 1952.

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Dromana Pier, Victoria, 1914

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Hop picking, New Norfolk, Tasmania, c. 1910.

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House built around a fallen tree, Sassafras, Victoria, c. 1910

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Saharet (an Australian dancer, born in Victoria), c. 1910.

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Balloonists’ Queensland greeting, c. 1910.

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Dame Nellie Melba (Australian opera singer), c. 1905.

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Glenelg Temperance Tent, South Australia, 1906.

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Esplanade, Manly, Queensland, 1920

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Paddle-steamer at Murray Bridge, South Australia, c. 1902

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BRITAIN:

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2020 marked the 150th anniversary of the British Postcard.

Created in 1870 the postcard shot to popularity as a means of cheap, quick communication. This, along with a craze to collect, sparked the height of postcard sending from the early 20th century through to the First World War. Since then, postcards have predominantly been reserved for holidays and are increasingly eclipsed by newer forms of digital communication.

The first cards were issued by Austria-Hungary in 1869, a proposal by Dr Emanuel Herrmann, though he was not the first to suggest the idea. They were produced in two languages – German and Hungarian – and were extremely popular.

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First British postcard, 1870

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‘Language of Stamps’ postcard, 1915. A bit bold, eh what?

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Northumberland Fusiliers postcard, 1916-1918

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Prisoners of war endured extreme isolation and loneliness. During the First World War all countries agreed that captives held abroad could send mail free of charge to their home countries.

Prisoner of War Postcard from Harry Brown in Bayreuth, North Bavaria. 22 Sep 1917

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‘N. Side of Capstone Hill, Ilfracombe’ Postcard, Early 1900s

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‘Why Don’t You Write?’ postcard. Early 1900s

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USA:

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__________

Alabama postcard

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Kansas City postcard
_________

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1909 postcard

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New York State Building, 1901

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1960s Dallas postcard

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

KING'S BIRTHDAY

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The second Monday in June is a public holiday in most Australian States, including New South Wales.

For most of us it is JAH – Just Another Holiday – with double demerit points for traffic offences.

However, here is some information as to why the day is a day off work,

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Most Commonwealth realms also observe the occasion on which the birthday of the monarch is officially celebrated.

The following states and territories will have a public holiday on the second Monday in June:

Australian Capital Territory

New South Wales

Northern Territory

South Australia

Tasmania

Victoria

It won't be a public holiday for:

Queensland

Western Australia

For these states, the day is pushed back to accommodate a better spread of public holidays throughout the year. Most of WA will mark the King's Birthday with a public holiday on September 23, but some regional areas in the state might hold it on a different date. Queensland's public holiday for the King's Birthday isn't until October 7.

The holiday does not necessarily correspond to the date of the monarch's actual birth. Charles Arthur Philip George Mountbatten-Windsor, aka King Charles 111, was born on 14 November 1948 and will therefore turn 76 on November 14.

The day has been celebrated in Australia since 1788, when Governor Arthur Phillip declared a holiday to mark the birthday of the king of Great Britain. Until 1936, it was held on the actual birthday of the monarch, but, after King George V died, it was decided to keep the date on the second Monday in June. 

Whilst George V's successor, Edward VIII, also celebrated his birthday in June, the three sovereigns since have not: George VI's birthday was in December, very close to public holidays for Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year’s; Elizabeth II's birthday fell shortly after holidays for Good Friday and Easter and very close to ANZAC Day, while Charles III's birthday is in November, shortly after Remembrance Day.

The King's Birthday Honours List, in which new members of the Order of Australia and other Australian honours are named, is released on the King's Birthday weekend each June.

The date most of the country observes is chosen to align with the UK's annual celebration on the second weekend of June each year. The UK has marked the "official" birthday of the British monarchs in June for more than 260 years with an annual parade called Trooping the Colour.

The sovereign's birthday was first officially marked in the Kingdom of Great Britain in 1748, for King George II. Since then, the date of the king or queen's birthday has been determined throughout the British Empire and, later, the Commonwealth of Nations, either by royal proclamations issued by the sovereign or viceroy, or by statute laws passed by the local parliament.

A bread ticket from the 1859 Toronto celebrations entitling the bearer to a loaf of bread in celebration of the birthday of Queen Victoria

The date of the celebration today varies as adopted by each country and is generally set around the end of May or start of June, to coincide with a higher probability of fine weather in the Northern Hemisphere for outdoor ceremonies.

In Australia the governor-general gives out honours and awards on the King's Birthday weekend, which isn't as weather-dependant as the UK’s celebration, which includes the Trooping of the Colour in front of Buckingham Palace.

Trooping of the Colour

His Maj in last year’s Trooping of the Colour,  that's not a fox hat he is weariing, by the way. This year His Maj will do it by carriage

No one does spectacle, pomp and ceremony like the Brits.

So most states and territories just align the holiday with the UK.

In most cases, it is an official public holiday, sometimes aligning with the celebration of other events. Most Commonwealth realms release a Birthday Honours list at this time.

The King's Birthday weekend and Empire Day (24 May) were the traditional times for public fireworks displays in Australia. The sale of fireworks to the public was banned in various states through the 1980s and by the Australian Capital Territory on 24 August 2009. Only Tasmania and the Northern Territory allow the sale of fireworks to the public.

Some childhood memories in that regard:

- Cracker Night, aka Bonfire Night

- Setting off fireworks and crackers, some as big as sticks of dynamite (“tuppeny bungers”)

- Building the bonfire

- Barbeque

Some Cracker Night pics:

I remember all the above fireworks and their names - Penny bungers, Tuppency bungers, Happy Jacks, Tom Thumbs, throwdown. . .

How  did we survive childhood?

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

- Vito 'The Godfather' Corleone

WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE

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Continuing a look at the events and people in Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire.

Each two lines represent a year.

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac

Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai"

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball

Starkweather homicide, children of thalidomide

Buddy Holly, "Ben Hur", space monkey, Mafia

Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy

Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo

1959:

Mafia

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What is it?

A secretive and organised criminal network that operates primarily through illegal activities such as extortion, drug trafficking, money laundering, and organized violence. The term "mafia" was originally applied to the Sicilian Mafia. The term has since expanded to encompass other organizations of similar methods and purpose, e.g., "the Russian Mafia" or "the Japanese Mafia".

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Background and history:

Cuba’s reputation as an exotic and permissive playground came to light in the 1920s, when the country became a favourite destination for robber barons and bohemians. Hotels, restaurants, night clubs, golf clubs and casinos sprung up in Havana catering to the rich jet-setters seeking luxury. Socialites, debutantes, celebrities like Ava Gardner and Frank Sinatra, and American mobsters came to play in the Cuban paradise.

“Havana was then what Las Vegas has become,” says Louis Perez, a Cuba historian. It attracted some of the same mafia kingpins, too, such as Meyer Lansky and Santo Trafficante, who were evading a national investigation into organised crime. In Cuba, they continued their trade of gambling, drugs and prostitution, paying off government officials.

Tourists didn’t see the underclass, people of poverty like the macheteros — sugarcane cutters — who worked only during the four month season, and the rest of the year were unemployed and angry. The sugar boom that had fuelled much of Cuba’s economic life, however, was waning By the mid 1950s Cubans began to feel the squeeze. Poverty, particularly in the provinces, increased.

By the late 1950s, U.S. financial interests included 90 percent of Cuban mines, 80 percent of its public utilities, 50 percent of its railways, 40 percent of its sugar production, and 25 percent of its bank deposits—some $1 billion in total. American influence extended into the cultural realm, as well. Cubans grew accustomed to the luxuries of American life.

They drove American cars, owned TVs, watched Hollywood movies, and shopped at Woolworth’s department store. The youth listened to rock and roll, learned English in school, adopted American baseball, and sported American fashions.

Casino players, Havana, 1958

Havana casino, 1958

In return, Cuba got hedonistic tourists, organised crime, and General Fulgencio Batista. In military power since the early 1930s, Batista appointed himself president by way of a military coup in 1952, dashing Cubans’ long-held hope for democracy.

Not only was the economy weakening as a result of U.S. influence, but Cubans were also offended by what their country was becoming: a haven for prostitution, brothels and gambling.

Slum (bohio) dwellings in Havana, Cuba in 1954, just outside Havana baseball stadium. In the background is advertising for a nearby casino.

All classes of Cubans, including the very rich, looked to the young and charismatic Fidel Castro as their hope for democracy and change. Castro, a young lawyer trained at the University of Havana, belonged to a wealthy landowning family, but espoused a deep nationalism and railed against corruption and gambling.

After participating in rebellions against right-wing governments in the Dominican Republic and Colombia, Castro planned the overthrow of Cuban president Fulgencio Batista, launching a failed attack on the Moncada Barracks in 1953. After a year's imprisonment, Castro travelled to Mexico where he formed a revolutionary group, the 26th of July Movement, with his brother Raúl Castro and Ernesto "Che" Guevara. Returning to Cuba, Castro took a key role in the Cuban Revolution by leading the Movement in a guerrilla war against Batista's forces from the Sierra Maestra. After Batista's overthrow in 1959, Castro assumed military and political power as Cuba's prime minister.

On 1 January 1959 Castro entered Havana, Batista had already fled in the middle of the night, taking more than $40 million of government funds.

Batista in March 1957, standing next to a map of the Sierra Maestra mountains where Fidel Castro's rebels were based

Fidel Castro, 1959

In protest of the government's corruption, Cubans immediately ransacked the casinos and destroyed the parking meters that Batista had installed. Castro also eliminated gambling and prostitution, a healthy move for the national identity, but not so much for the tourism industry.

Castro declared himself the Prime Minister of Cuba and began implementing a series of radical reforms, including the nationalisation of industries and the redistribution of land. These policies were met with both praise and criticism.

One of the most significant impacts of the Cuban Revolution was the establishment of a socialist government in Cuba. Under Castro's leadership, Cuba became a communist state, aligning itself with the Soviet Union and adopting socialist policies.

While Castro’s policies were intended to benefit the Cuban people, they also had unintended consequences. The nationalisation of industries and the collectivization of agriculture led to a decline in productivity and efficiency. The Cuban economy became heavily dependent on Soviet aid, and the country struggled to meet its own food and basic needs.

The United States, fearing the spread of communism in its backyard, imposed a trade embargo on Cuba and attempted to isolate the country diplomatically. This embargo, which remains in place to this day, has had a profound impact on the Cuban economy and the Cuban people.

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Relevance to the Mafia and 1959:

One of the largest Mafia gatherings took place in Cuba in 1946. 

This the conference depicted in The Godfather, although set later in the movie.

The Havana Conference was organised by Charles “Lucky” Luciano, and brought together more than twenty mobsters representing crime families from New York to New Orleans and from Buffalo to Tampa.

Lucky Luciano

Expansion of Mob operations in Cuba was front and centre. There was also discussion of the Mob’s heroin and cocaine trade. Contrary to popular perception, the Mob was heavily involved in the narcotics trade, especially in the early to middle part of the 20th century. Cuba was one of the main transfer points to various U.S. port cities controlled by the Mob.

After the 1946 Conference, the Mob’s role in Cuba exploded. Gangsters from all over the country descended on the tiny island to run casinos and nightclubs, and expand their criminal empires. Luciano was deported from Cuba in 1947 after pressure from the U.S. government but mob boss Meyer Lansky remained a force, as did Tampa boss Santo Trafficante Jr.

Meyer Lansky, 1958

Meyer Lansky

Meyer Lansky and Santo Trafficante Jr. were hit the hardest, as they had made the largest investments in Cuba. Lansky actually was on Batista’s payroll as the dictator’s casino gambling adviser. Lansky also had just spent millions of dollars on his masterpiece gambling resort – the Hotel Riviera.

The Mafia’s role in Cuba ended on January 1, 1959, with the overthrow of Fulgencio Batista and the rise of Fidel Castro.

Thereafter Mafia leader Meyer Lansky set his sights on the Bahamas and trans-Atlantic gambling possibilities.

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By the way:

The word mafia originated in Sicily. The Sicilian noun mafiusu (in Italian: mafioso) roughly translates to mean "swagger", but can also be translated as "boldness, bravado".

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

SONG SPOT

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Two songs today, for reasons explained below.

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Ever heard of an earworm?

It is a piece of music or song that stays in your mind for ages, even if you try to get rid of it, and is extremely annoying. It is also known as Stuck Music Syndrome and is more pronounced for people with OCD.

I mention this because for the last few days I have had an earworm for the song ‘Right Said Fred’, which oldies like me will remember.

I mentioned this my wife Kate and played the videos of the song, which prompted her to mention Tommy Steele’s ‘What a Mouth’, also a Brit novelty song from the same period and in the same genre. Kate sings it to our grandson when he is being fed during babysitting, as he opens wide. We played the video and now I have a second earworm.

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RIGHT SAID FRED

There is a group named Right Said Fred, named after the song and formed in 1989 by the Fairbrass brothers. This post, however, is not about them.

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Video:

Musical video of the song and animated figures:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5XX9LX2es4

Bernard Cribbins singing the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTS8MMqhMxY

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Lyrics:

"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together

One each end and steady as we go."

Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it

We was getting nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea and

[Verse 2]

"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."

Up comes Charlie from the floor below

After strainin', heavin' and complainin'

We was getting nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea

[Verse 3]

And Charlie had a think

And he thought we ought

To take off all the handles

And the things wot held the candles

But, it did no good

Well, I never thought it would

[Verse 4]

"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off

To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo."

Took its feet off, even took the seat off

Should have got us somewhere, but no!

So Fred said, "Let's have another cuppa tea."

And we said, "Right-o."

[Verse 5]

"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off

Need more space to shift the so-and-so."

Had bad twinges taking off the hinges

And it got us nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea and

[Verse 6]

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the wall down

That there wall is gonna have to go."

Took the wall down, even with it all down

We was getting nowhere

And so, we had a cuppa tea

[Verse 7]

And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred

I got a sort of feelin'

If we remove the ceiling

With a rope or two

We could drop the blighter through."

[Verse 8]

"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder

With his crowbar gave a mighty blow

Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble

Landed on the top of his dome

So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea

And then we went home

(Spoken):

I said to Charlie ‘We’ll have to leave it standing on the landing, that’s all’.

You see the trouble with Fred is he’s too hasty,

I mean you never get no where if you’re too hasty

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About:

The song dates from 1962 and was written by Ted Dicks and Myles Rudge.

It is about three moving men (Fred, Charlie, and the unnamed narrator) trying without success to move a large and unwieldy piece of furniture from an apartment. The item has feet, a seat, handles and candleholders and is never identified but is often interpreted as being a piano.

The movers eventually give up after dismantling the piece of furniture and partially demolishing the building – including removing a door, a wall, and the ceiling – and taking numerous tea breaks.

After "half a ton of rubble (falls) on the top of (Fred’s) dome" (slang for head), the others have a final tea break and go home.

This novelty song - complete with sound effects - was the third release by and a big hit for Bernard Cribbins. Although he had a very transient career as a recording artist, Cribbins was already a name as a character actor and comedian when this song made the UK singles chart in 1962; he would later go on to become a narrator and children's TV presenter.

The song satirises the stereotypical British tradesman.

When Myles Rudge died in October 2007, his obituary in the Daily Telegraph said the object concerned was Ted Dicks' piano.

"Right, Said Fred" was produced by George Martin, who also produced the Beatles - it was released on Parlophone backed by "Quietly Bonkers." A humorous contemporary animated video of the song was also produced.

In 2018, this was used in a commercial for the UK finance company Key.

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WHAT A MOUTH

"What a Mouth (What a North and South)" is a music hall song written by R. P. Weston in 1906 and first sung by Harry Champion. It is better known for the version recorded by Tommy Steele in 1960, which peaked at number 5 on the UK Singles Chart.

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Video:

Tommy Steele:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE4tu2tUSME

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Lyrics:

Jimmy Bean was a funny lookin' fella'

If he had another mouth he'd look much wella'

But his face

Cleared him

From winning the beauty show

It was like a steam boat funnel

Or a railway arch, or the blackwall tunnel

If you can't see Jim when he opens his mouth you'll know

And as poor Jim goes walking about

You can hear the kids all hollerin' out

What?

What? Oh erm

What a mouth!

What a mouth!

What a north and south

Blimey what a mouth he's got

Now when he was a baby lord oh lummee!

His poor old mummy used to feed him with a shovel

What a gap

Poor chap

He's never been known to laugh

'Cos if he did it's a penny to a quid that his mouth would fall in 'alf

Mouth so large

Lord oh lummee

He could whisper in his own ear ain't it funny

Now to quench his thirst

Now he's got to take a drink oh my

He got so drunk one foggy morn

He laid in the road and started to yawn

And a poor old man was delivering coals close by

And he went to shoot the load

He saw Jim's mouth out in the road

What?

What? Oh yes hmm

What a mouth!

What a mouth!

What a north and south

Blimey what a mouth he's got

Now the poor old man being a short sighted fella

When he saw Jim’s mouth he took it for the cellar

And he shot the lot right into his mouth no joke

Jim’s got a tummy full of coal and he coughs up lumps of coke

What?

What? Oh blimey I thought it was all over

What a mouth!

What a mouth!

What a north and south

Blimey what a mouth he's got

Now the poor old man being a short sighted fella

When he saw Jim’s mouth he took it for the cellar

And he shot the lot right into his mouth no joke

Jim’s poor soul’s got a tummy full of coal and he coughs up lumps of coke

Oi!

Oi!

Oi!

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About:

The first commercially released recording was by The Two Bills from Bermondsey — Bill Burnham and Bill French — who were recorded by Peter Kennedy at "The Cock & Monkey" in Bermondsey on 13 February 1954. The 78 rpm record, Parlophone R 3953, was released in January 1955.

Steele recorded a cover of "What a Mouth" as it was one of his father's favourite songs.

Steele's father told him that he knew he would be successful if he "became as successful as the Two Bills".

Tommy Steele, real name Sir Thomas Hicks OBE, was born in 1936 and is regarded as Britain's first teen idol and rock and roll star.

Steele shifted away from rock and roll in the 1960s, becoming an all-round entertainer . He originated the part of Kipps in Half a Sixpence in the West End and on Broadway, reprising his role in the 1967 film version. As an actor, he notably appeared in the films The Happiest Millionaire (1967) and Finian's Rainbow (1968) and as the lead in several West End productions of Singin' in the Rain. Also an author and sculptor, Steele remains active. He was knighted in the 2020 Birthday Honours for services to entertainment and charity and was awarded the Freedom of the City of London in 2021.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

FUNNY FRIDAY

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Hello Byters and readers.

Because I have no theme in mind, today features a random assortment of past humour and newer items.

A caution that there is risqué content included.

Enjoy

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SOME HUMOUR:

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An old German is going through customs at the French border. When the agent asked him “occupation?” he replied “not this time”.

__________

And one set years ago:

British Airways pilot in an exchange with the tower at Frankfurt:

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

ATC: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

ATC: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now."

ATC (annoyed): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (nonchalantly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark though… and I wasn’t landing."

__________

Col and Frank were Australian drovers who had come to town for a beer. At the bar, Col got into conversation with another man and said “So what do you do for a living?” The man replied “I’m a taxidermist. I stuff animals.”

“Do you stuff sheep?” Col asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you stuff kangaroos?”

“All the time.”

“What about dogs?”

“Yes, often.”

Later, Frank asked Col “What is he then?”

Col replied “He says he’s a taxi bloke but I reckon he’s a drover like us.”

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From Bytes March 12, 2021:

Byter David H emailed me a video of Dustin Hoffman telling a story on the Graham Norton show when they were both a lot younger. The story is one that I had heard previously in a different setting but this version is better, plus it is delivered superbly by Hoffman, an excellent story teller.

Thanks, David.

At the beginning of the video Hoffman explains that he is keeping the celebrity names to do homage to the story. Those celebrities, for the benefit of younger readers, are:

Ringo Starr, one of the Beatles

Omar Sharif, actor and 1960s sex symbol

Brigitte Bardot, actress and 1960s sex symbol

Click on the following link to watch the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr4X0IbfApY

For those who prefer the written version . . .

A flea goes into a travel agency and says “I’ve been working so hard for the last few years, I really need a holiday.”

The travel agent asks “What kind of holiday are you in the market for?”

The flea says “I want to go somewhere bright and sunny, somewhere that I can just relax and enjoy myself, don’t want to worry about anything.”

The travel agent says “Okay” and starts flipping through his catalogue book. After some research, the travel agent announces proudly “Okay, I can give you one week in Nice, in Ringo Starr‘s hair.”

So off the flea goes.

After 4 days the flea comes back to the travel agent.

The travel agent asks “What are you doing back here? Aren’t you supposed to be on holiday?”

The flea says “Oh, that was an awful holiday! He spends all his time indoors, he’s always banging on the drums, he never goes out, it’s noisy and smelly. He’s always shaking his head from side to head, I got a terrible migraine! I just want a nice relaxing holiday, you know, out in the sun. I want to relax!”

So the travel agent picks up another catalogue and does some flipping through. Suddenly he announces “Okay, I can give you one week in Monte Carlo, in Omar Sharif‘s moustache.”

So off the flea goes.

After 4 days, the flea comes back to the travel agent.

The travel agent asks “You’re back so soon? What was wrong with that holiday?”

The flea says “That holiday was even worse! He spends all his time in the casino gambling. And what’s worse, he smokes so much, all the smoke went up into his moustache, I got burnt from a bit of ash and cinders, it was smelly and ugh! it was no good, no good! I just want to relax! I want sunshine and sand and blue skies!”

So the travel agent picks up another catalogue and does some research. After a long period, he finally announces “Okay, we’ve had a cancellation, and this is perfect for you. I can give you one week in St Tropez, in Brigitte Bardot‘s muff.”

So off the flea goes.

After 4 days, the flea returns to the travel agent.

“What!!” the travel agent exclaims, completely flabberghasted. “What are you doing here?! What was wrong with that holiday?!”

“Oh nothing!” replies the flea. “It was lovely, she’s so lovely. She just lays out all day long in the beautiful sand, on the beach, she soaks up a lot of sun, she had this radio next to her playing this delightfully relaxing music… I had a wonderful time there, it was the best holiday I’ve had.”

Puzzled, the travel agent asks “Well if it was so great, what are you doing back here so early?”

The flea replies “You tell me! After 3 days, I found myself back in Omar Sharif’s moustache.”

__________

Here is an alternative version, which was posted in Funny Friday on December 13, 2013:

A flea walking down the street met his friend, who he hadn’t seen in a while, coming in the opposite direction. The first flea says “Erik, what is the matter with you? You look so gaunt, haggard and tired.” Erik says “Leif, I live in a Viking’s beard. I’m always out in the cold and wind aboard ship on the North Sea. There’s ice and freezing temperatures, I’m always wet and if we’re not on the water we’re on land fighting and pillaging. How do you remain looking so sleek and fat?”

Leif replies “I live in a maiden’s crotch where it’s always comfortable and warm. You should find yourself a place like that, you wouldn’t know yourself after a couple of weeks.”

“I will,” said Erik.

A few months later Leif meets Erik again and is shocked that Erik looks even more gaunt and haggard than the last time. “What has happened?” he asks. “I thought you were going to find a nice warm spot in a female crotch.”

“I did,” replies Erik. “I found myself an attractive young woman and made my way there and went to sleep. I really needed that sleep, so warm, so relaxing. Then I woke up and I was back in the Viking’s beard.”

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

There once was a man with a hernia

Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya,

When you work on my middle

Be sure you don't fiddle

With things that do not concern ya."

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GALLERY:

Sent to me by Leo M. Thanks Leo.

---- 😊😊😊 -----

RELIGION SPOT

Gabriel asks God about his latest creation:

“What is this?

"It’s a human"

“What are those 2 round things?

"They’re called eyes, so they can see my other creations"

“And this thing?”

“They’re called hands, so they can create things just like I did"

“And this?”

“Toes, for the furniture"

“What furniture?”

“Trust me, it will be hilarious"

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CORN CORNER:

__________

What’s the difference between a good joke and

A bad joke timing

__________

I always get entomology and etymology mixed up

I can't put into words how much that bugs me

__________

My wife asked me how to think the unthinkable.

I said 'with an itheberg'

__________

My computer just froze

My fault, I had too many windows open

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY