This is better told, rather than written, in that telling allows a Northern English accent to be used. I have wriiten some of the words phonetically to preserve that feature...
A man takes his young son to the London Zoo to see the monkeys.
Alas, when they get to the monkey enclosure, there is not a monkey to be seen, so he calls over the attendant and asks”
“’Ere, where’s all the moonkeys then?”
“They’re all in the ‘uts,” says the keeper. “It’s the matin’ season and they’re all havin’ sex.”
“Do you think they’d come out if I threw a peanut?” asks the father.
“Would you?” says the keeper