Friday, October 7, 2016

Trivia Week - Funny Friday


It's hard to find joke and cartoons about trivia so, instead, here are a couple plus a collection of ethnic and cultural stereotyping jokes and some one liners . . .

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Some ethnic humour:
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Canadian:

Q: Who would win in a fight between Celine Dion and Shania Twain? 

A: We all would!
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Arabic:

A Canadian guy, an American guy, a Japanese guy, and a Middle Eastern guy walk into a bar. They all have a couple of beers, and get to bragging. The American guy boasts, "I'm so lucky, I have 4 beautiful children, one more and I would have a basketball team." Not to be outdone, the Canadian guy retorts, "I am luckier than you, I have 5 gifted children, one more and I could form a hockey team." So, the Japanese guy chimes in with, "Well, I surely have both of you topped. I have 8 children. Just one more and I would have a baseball team." Pausing, briefly, the Middle Eastern guy replies, "Well, I am betting I have all you fools beat. My harem houses 17 wives, one more and I would have a golf course!".
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Chinese:

Two Chinese exchange students arrive at the university cafeteria for lunch and ask what was available for lunch and were told there were pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs and fries. They each order a hot dog and sit down at a table to eat. After one unwraps the tin foil off his hot dog he looks at the hot dog and asks the other "So what part of the dog did you get?"
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English:

Q: What's the difference between England and a tea bag? 

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
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Indian:

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip, but he hates Indian food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?" The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
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German:

A German is driving his car in Britain. A British cop pulls him over to the side of the road. Cop: "Sir, do you realize that there are two poisonous snakes on your windshield?" The German: "Off course! Zey are my vinscreen vipers!"




Corn Corner:

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.



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