More There I Fixed It

A news item from yesterday:

Thomas Cook has a new hotel promo happening for its Cook’s Club, with the words “I Y Cook’s Club”  emblazoned on the side of planes:

Unfortunately when the doors are opened, the message alters:

The reference on the above pic to Cathay Pacific, or more correctly to Cathay Paciic, is to the fact that it was recently reported that Cathay Pacific had spelt its own name wrong on the sides of planes:

Source:  https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-ideas/weird-and-wacky/thomas-cook-paint-gaffe-leaves-plane-displaying-very-rude-message-along-its-side/news-story/1ce34fc2ad3a156186c75f23eafbe37e

Which is a good segue to pics from the There I Fixed It site . . .

Quote for the Day

Funny Friday

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Some smiles and giggles to finish the week but, a caution, there is some risque humour included.  Happy trails, campers.

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A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose. 

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out. 

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab. 

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and 50,000 pounds. 

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through some corrective surgery. 

The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again. 

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates. 

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before. 

He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money, but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates." 

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins!" 

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A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cosy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.'.... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. 

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. 

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'. 

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. 

It read: 

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.’ 

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A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it. He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look. 

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin". He explodes, 'Blimey man, you've left the "e" out.' 

The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason, 'There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you.' 

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud, 'E, she were thin.' 

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An Essex girl is involved in a car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It’s okay, I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?"

Girl: "Okay"

Medic: "What’s your name?"

Girl: "Sharon."

Medic: "Okay Sharon, is this your car?"

Sharon: "Yes."

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon: "Romford."

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Corn Corner: 

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If I had 50 cents for every maths test I’ve failed, I'd now have $7.30. 

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Does anybody know which actor played Forrest Gump? Thanks. 

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Breaking news: Caitlyn Jenner claims Bruce Jenner sexually assaulted her over 30 years ago. 

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What do we want?... 

Bigger Placards!... 

When do we want em?... 

N 

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If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue. 

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Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary. If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere. 

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Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. 

When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, “Knicker Stitcher… I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..” 

The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay. 

Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied “Diesel Fitter.” 

Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week. 

When Paddy found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. 

The clerk explained “Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.” 

“What skill?” yelled Paddy. 

“I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says ‘Yep, diesel fitter.’ “

Thought for the Day

Amazing Houses and Buildings

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Byter Brett B (the American Brett, the one who sends me monthlies) recently sent me a link to a warehouse that sold in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. Thanks Brett. 

The story and pics are from The Bored Panda website where the intro to the story reads: 

This 1950’S Warehouse Sold For $1,230,000 Sounds Expensive Only Until You Look Inside

A converted industrial warehouse has been recently sold in Brisbane for a whopping $1.23M. You might be thinking “What’s the big deal?” but the house is already being nicknamed ‘The coolest home in Brisbane’ and once you see the inside,... 

If you expand the article you read another paragraph: 

The warehouse was built back in 1950 and looks like any ordinary facade from the outside but once you enter, you quickly see the industrial-style home in all of its glory. The huge two bedroom property has everything any hip person could want – vintage brick walls, concrete floors, exposed steel beams, and just wait until you see the bathroom! It even has a beautiful courtyard where you can “sip your Barista-made coffee while soaking up the sunshine,” said the property ad. Some other features of the property that attracted many potential buyers were a rare two street access and an open-floor design, meaning you can create any type of living space you want.

https://www.boredpanda.com/old-warehouse-home-brisbane-australia/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Gallery: 

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It is an amazing house but not my cup of tea, unfortunately. Maybe it’s my Dutch upbringing, the house of my parents in which my brothers and I were raised displayed the influence of my mother. It must be a Dutch thing because the interior of my mother’s house very much resembled the restaurant in the Dutch Shop at Smithfield, even to the heavy carpets used as tablecloths: 

Byter Diane M in Holland can tell us, is the above style of decorating common in Holland, Di? 

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Some other amazing houses: 

My mother’s house did not, however, look like The Shoe House in The Netherlands: 

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Another Shoe House, this one is in South Africa. It was inspired by the old nursery rhyme “There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.” It’s now a museum with the artist’s works, and it’s part of a whole complex that includes a guest house, a restaurant, a swimming pool, and a curio shop. 

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And even more shoe houses: 

Hellam Shoe House, Pennsylvania, US, built in 1948 by shoe salesman Mahlon Haines as an advertising ploy 

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British Columbia 

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High heel shoe church in Taiwan that seeks to attract females as worshippers. 

From a news report: 

The building is made from 320 pieces of blue-tinted glass, and stands about 17 metres high and 11 metres wide in Ocean View Park, on the island's east coast. Southwest Coast National Scenic Area spokesman Zheng Rongfeng told local media the church would also include 100 "female-oriented" features. They reportedly include chairs for "lovers", maple leaves, biscuits and cake.  

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-01-14/shoe-shaped-church-taiwan-hopes-to-attract-female-worshippers/7088208

Thought for the Day

QuickFacts: Moments in Australian Television

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Ron Casey and Normie Rowe: 

Ron Casey, controversial Sydney broadcaster and TV presenter, died yesterday in hospital aged 89. Originally a TV sports presenter, he came to be better known for his right wing views as a talkback radio announcer And for politically incorrect positions and comments, resulting in his being suspended a number of times and eventually sacked. Today he is best remembered for his punchup with Normie Row on live television in 1991. During a debate on republicanism, Casey made a derogatory comment to Rowe about Rowe’s Vietnam service. Rowe responded by calling Casey a “low rat” and he pushed Casey back down in his seat. Casey responded by punching Rowe in the face. See it by clicking on: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vmvQfRsRHw 

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Number 96: 

Number 96 was a popular Australian television nightly soap opera that premiered on 13 March 1972 and ran until 11 August 1977. It was set in a small four-storey inner city apartment block at 96 Lindsay Street Paddington (actually Moncur Street, Woollahra) hence the title, although more often than not it was called Nightly Sex instead of Ninety Six. 

Some facts: 

• The newspaper blurb promoting it on the night of its launch declared "Tonight Australian television loses its virginity". 

• Number 96 was known for its groundbreaking sex scenes and nudity and for its comedy characters. The series was the first in the world to feature an openly gay regular character. 

• World's first portrayal of a gay couple fully accepted by and integrated into their community. 

• The first bare breasts in Oz prime time. 

• The first gay kiss. 

• The first bomb explosion used as a cliffhanger. 

• There were so many complaints to the Australian Broadcasting Control Board that Board executives came in each morning at 7.00am to view that night's episode prior to it going to air, to ensure that it complied with the Control Board's guidelines. 

Opening: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrIjXKN0LZo 

The bomb blast: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4x-eJvn0H8 

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Graham Kennedy’s crow call: 

Despite gay kisses and heaving naked bosoms, there were still some things one did not do on television in the mid 1970’s and one such thing was to use the F word. Tonight show host and compere came close to doing it in March 1975 when he imitated a crow call – Faaaaark! – that sounded very much like the word “Fuck”. 

From the Sydney Morning Herald: 

The infamous crow call.  

On March 3, 1975, on the first night of his new Graham Kennedy Show on Nine, Kennedy uttered the word "faaark" on a live advertisement for Cedel hairspray. This inspired about a thousand calls of complaint from viewers. Kennedy later claimed this was merely his trademark crow call, something he'd performed on air several times over the last 10 years. After receiving a warning letter from Myles Wright of the broadcasting control board, Kennedy responded the following week by asking the studio audience to give his critics a mass crow call. They did so with gusto. A week later, Kennedy was banned from performing live to air.  

https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/crude-lewd-rude-and-awfully-naughty-20050526-gdle89.html 

From then on had to prerecord his shows and he quit a month later. 

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Gordon Chater says “bum” on TV:

As I have said, use of words regarded as swear words were a no-no on Oz TV in the 70’s so how much more were such words verboten in the mid 60’s? 

In 1964 Channel 7 in Sydney started broadcasting a weekly satirical show called The Mavis Bramston Show, which tackled controversial topics. By way of example, one episode alone tackled a visit by the US Vice President to Australia, the introduction of female roller skating to Australia, homosexuality, censorship, price fixing, child endowment, the White Australia Policy, and how the introduction of computers would impact on office secretaries. 

But Gordon Chater used the word “bum” in a sketch and was suspended, as well as making front page news. 

Carol Raye, Gordon Chater, Barry Creyton and June Salter, regulars on the Mavis Bramston Show 

Gordon Chater: 

Opening, and a couple of scenes from the first episode of "The Mavis Bramston Show", including slapstick. Note how the audience fail to applaud until prompted when the cast complete the opening theme 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nFAP7XqQ-Y&t=32s 

Carol Raye, now aged 95: 

“I had just arrived in Australia and I joined Channel Seven as a producer and was told to come up with some ideas for a late night show. Seven’s ratings weren’t very good and they wanted to knock off Graham Kennedy. In Melbourne Tonight was a huge success. I’d just come from England and was very influenced by a show that was a huge success in London, That Was The Week That Was with David Frost. It was really a journalistic satire. It wasn’t just lots of funny ha-ha jokes. It was political comedy.”

“Channel Seven’s General Manager said to me, ‘Carol the trouble with you is you’re far too BBC. Australians are not ready to laugh at themselves.’ And I said ‘I don’t believe that. Everybody laughs at themselves if it’s funny.’

https://tvtonight.com.au/2014/09/carol-raye-writes-to-kerry-stokes-in-plea-for-mavis-bramston-dvd.html 

The show was a huge success, so much so that Qantas pilots sought to change their schedules so as to be home on Wednesday nights when it aired and Canberra shopkeepers sought to change the weeknight that it aired so as not to conflict with late night shopping in that business suffered so much.

Carol Raye: 

“Cardinal Gilroy in Sydney told all his parishoners that they had to sell their (sponsor) Ampol shares. We were naughty, we said the odd word like ‘bum’ which I don’t think had been said.”

Carol Raye on the Mavis Bramston Show: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQqpgwa19d4

(Okay, not so sophisticated buit what was back then?)