Friday, October 30, 2015

Funny Friday

Good morning readers.

The theme for today's Funny Friday is Halloween (with a couple of items being repeats). 


(Caution: risque language follows)

I got so sick of the trick or treaters at Halloween that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.

Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.

Just thought I'd nip over to my Nan's, and fair play to her, at 96, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and insects in the windows and a skeleton on the couch.

She always makes a big effort, but there was no answer...I'll pop back next year.

Went trick-or-treating last night. Every house I called at slammed the door back in my face.

Maybe going as a Jehovah's Witness wasn't the best idea.

On Halloween I shouted through to the wife.

"Honey there's a witch at the door what shall I do?"

She replied, "Just give her some sweets and tell her to fuck off."

My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.

How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there! I've killed 15 zombies so far! 

And why the hell are they all carrying candy?

Corn Corner:

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.

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