Sunday, April 4, 2021

5 X 5: EASTER FILMS


5 facts about 5 Easter films . . .



The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)


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Telly Savalas shaved his head bald for his role as Pontius Pilate. He kept his head shaved for the rest of his life.


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The film has many cameos and roles by famous actors and actresses, one being John Wayne. Even some movie posters feature him.

From a past Bytes post:

. . . Max Von Sydow, who played Jesus as an intense, morose man who only displays warmth and happiness when he is with children. That movie, The Greatest Story Ever Told, has remained in my mind from first viewing for two reasons: firstly, the number of big name stars in it, and secondly, that one of those stars was John Wayne. "How does John Wayne feature in a movie about the Christ?" I hear you ask. Suffice to say that he did not meet Jesus on the road to Jerusalem and say to him “Where are ya headed, pilgrim?” But more of that later.

The movie was made in 1965 and includes in the cast Charlton Heston, Jose Ferrer, Carroll Baker, Claude Rains, Richard Conte, Van Heflin, David McCallum, Martin Landau, Angela Lansbury, Pat Boone, Roddy McDowell, Sal Mineo, Sydney Poitier, Telly Savalas, Jamie Farr, and so on and so on…

When I first saw it, I waited for John Wayne to appear, wondering who he played (this was in the days before the internet or reading the back of a DVD box). The movie is 3 hours and 19 minutes in length. At about the 3 hour mark, everyone has forgotten about John Wayne. Instead, they are caught up in the climax of the film: the crucifixion and death of Jesus. Jesus suffers, asks why his God has forsaken him and finally commends his spirit to his Father. Even Nature reels at His death - there is darkness, thunder, lightning flshing...

I will not tell you what role was played by The Duke or when and how he appears; instead I will show you.

Click on the following link:

If you don't feel like watching the whole of a 10 minute clip, and fast forward to about the 2.30 minute mark and watch from there.

Don’t read further until you have viewed the above clip.

Being a perfectionist, the director of the movie, George Stevens did many takes of John Wayne’s single line, "Truly, this man was the son of God." A rumour has long persisted that at one stage Stevens pleaded with Wayne to show more emotion, an overwhelming sense of awe. During the next take, Wayne changed the line to, "Aw, truly this man was the son of God."

As a further point of interest, he was paid $250,000 for the role.


Pre-production poster from 1960, with John Wayne as the Centurion

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Commercially, the film was not successful. By 1983 it had grossed less than $8 million, perhaps 17 percent of the amount required to break even, and its inability to connect with audiences discouraged production of biblical epics for years.
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Max von Sydow said that the hardest part about playing Christ was the expectations people had of him to remain in character at all times. He could not smoke between takes, have a drink after work, or be affectionate with his wife on the set.

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In his diaries, Charlton Heston says that when he filmed the baptism scene with Max von Sydow that if the river Jordan had been as cold as Pyramid Lake where they shot the sequence, Christianity would never had gotten off the ground.



Easter Parade (1948)


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Gene Kelly was originally scheduled to play Don, but he broke his ankle when he stamped his foot in anger after losing a volleyball game. It was his suggestion that he be replaced by Fred Astaire. Cyd Charisse was up for the role of Nadine, but a torn ligament in either one or both of her knees forced her to drop out. She was replaced by Ann Miller. Although she had been a star for years, Judy Garland had never met Astaire and was afraid to speak to him until they were properly introduced.


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The shedding feathered gown worn by Judy Garland when she dances with Fred Astaire in one number is an inside joke reference to Ginger Rogers' problematic gown dancing with Fred Astaire in Top Hat (1935). An ostrich feather broke loose from Ginger Rogers' elaborate gown and stubbornly floated in mid-air around Astaire's face.



Fred Astaire with Ginger Rogers in the feather dress
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The original title for the song "Easter Parade" was "Smile and Show Your Dimple".
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Fred Astaire was 49 years old in real life at the time of the film release. Judy Garland was 26 years old.
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Sidney Sheldon revealed this in an interview decades after the film came out: On the first day of filming, before the first scene, Sheldon was telling Judy Garland a story. Though it was time to shoot, Garland pressed him to continue, ignoring the calls. When Sheldon jokingly asked if she wanted to do the scene, Garland admitted that she didn't, because the first scene was a kissing scene with Fred Astaire. She was nervous because she had never met him before. This had never occurred to anyone on the film - since Astaire and Garland were both already big stars at the time, it was assumed that they knew each other. Sidney brought Judy over and introduced her to Fred, and they proceeded to film the movie.



Life of Brian (1979)


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When Sir Michael Palin as Pontius Pilate addressed the soldiers daring them to laugh, he was truly daring them. The soldier extras were ordered to stand there and not laugh, but not told what Palin was going to do. Palin, in fact, can barely stifle his own laughter when saying "Biggus Dickus" in front of the soldier asked if he finds the name "risible".

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In the interview section of Monty Python's Flying Circus: Live at Aspen (1998), John Cleese said that because of the massive protests against this movie from all denominations of Christianity, he would joke with Sir Michael Palin, "We've brought them all together for the first time in two thousand years!"
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After the first take of the scene where a nude Brian addresses the crowd from his window, actor, writer, and director Terry Jones pulled Graham Chapman aside and said, "I think we can see that you're not Jewish", referring to Chapman being uncircumcised. It was corrected in subsequent takes with a rubber band.

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Originally financed by EMI, who backed out because they considered the script blasphemous. The Pythons sued EMI and settled out of court. George Harrison, a huge Monty Python fan, thought it was the last chance to have another Python movie. He created Handmade Films, and "pawned" (his words) his home in London and his office building to raise the £4 million needed. When asked why, he said "because I want to go see it." Eric Idle joked that it was the highest price ever paid for a cinema ticket.
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Norway banned this movie for one year for blasphemy, then gave it an "18" rating and included a warning from the censors at the beginning. It has been marketed in Sweden as "The film that is so funny that it was banned in Norway!" Ireland banned this movie for blasphemy until 1987. Torbay Council, Devon, refused to show this movie until September 2008. Aberystwyth, Wales, lifted its local ban in 2009 after cast member Sue Jones-Davies was elected Mayor.


Ben Hur (1959)

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The chariot race required 15,000 extras on a set constructed on 18 acres of backlot at Cinecitta Studios outside Rome. Tour buses visited the set every hour. Eighteen chariots were built, with half being used for practice. The race took five weeks to film.



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The desert sequences were all set to be filmed in Libya until authorities in the country--a Muslim nation--realized that the film was promoting Christianity. The government ordered MGM out of the country, forcing the studio to shift filming to Spain, which has the only desert in Europe.
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This is the first of three films to have won 11 Academy Awards, including the Best Picture Oscar. The second was Titanic (1997) and the third was The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). Several of the categories won by "Titanic" and "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" didn't exist in "Ben-Hur"'s day, making its 11 wins that much more impressive. It is also the first-ever film to win 10 Academy Awards in competitive categories, with Gone With The Wind having won 8 competitive Oscars and 2 special Oscars.
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One of the models of the Roman ships was on display at the amusement park Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, Missouri. It was outside and exposed to the elements for many years.

(Ever see it, Ron?)
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When the film's budget blew out to $10 million, nearly fifty percent higher than the original budget, Joseph Vogel president of MGM's parent company Loew's Inc., went to the set from New York. He conveyed growing concern by the board of directors and asked William Wyler if there was anything he could do to help. Wyler politely said "No, thank you," and continued shooting. Vogel left for a five-week European business trip. When he returned to the set Wyler was reshooting the scene he had been working on when Vogel had left for his trip five weeks earlier, now improved by some new dialogue. Vogel thought they had been filming the same scene the entire time.



Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

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Seventeen-year-old John Travolta auditioned for the role of Jesus. He didn't get the part, but producer Robert Stigwood kept him in mind for future productions. Three years later, Stigwood cast Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever” in 1977.
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The Roman soldier who nails Jesus to the cross was played by an Israeli who spoke very little English. He thought Ted Neeley, who was playing Jesus, was actually supposed to have nails hammered through his hands! Just in time, director Norman Jewison saw what was happening and screamed, "NO! NOT IN THE HAND!"
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The "39 Lashes" scene was so realistic that Ted Neeley's mother walked out on it. Mrs. Neeley had never laid a hand on young Ted in an anything but affectionate manner, and could not bear the sight of her son being whipped and tortured by anyone else, even though she knew it was just acting.
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After Ted Neeley invited director Norman Jewison to see him in a matinee performance of The Who's Tommy (1975), Neeley was injured during a show just prior to the one Jewison had bought a ticket to see. He recovered in time for the next show. Immediately afterward, he drove from Los Angeles to Jewison's hotel in Palm Springs and dressed up as Jesus Christ. Jewison was planning to leave for Israel soon after. Not only did Jewison accept his explanation and apology, but he also gave Neeley the title role in the film.

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The movie jettisoned the Broadway show's concept of having Herod be a flaming drag queen. Jewison apparently thought that was too shocking and would divert attention away from the serious drama in the show. So they changed it to a fat; hippyish; Hugh Heffner-type playboy; wearing a bathing suit; on the beach with several crazy hippyish characters.








Saturday, April 3, 2021

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 


MORE AESOP



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- Aesop's Fables, or the Aesopica, is a collection of fables credited to Aesop, a slave and storyteller believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620 and 564 BCE.

- Of diverse origins, the stories associated with his name have descended to modern times through a number of sources and continue to be reinterpreted in different verbal registers and in popular as well as artistic media.

- The fables originally belonged to the oral tradition and were not collected for some three centuries after Aesop's death. By that time a variety of other stories, jokes and proverbs were being ascribed to him, although some of that material was from sources earlier than him or came from beyond the Greek cultural sphere.

- The process of inclusion has continued until the present, with some of the fables unrecorded before the Late Middle Ages and others arriving from outside Europe. The process is continuous and new stories are still being added to the Aesop body of work, even when they are demonstrably more recent work and sometimes from known authors.

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A detail of the 13th-century Fontana Maggiore in Perugia, Italy, with the fables of 'The Wolf and the Crane' and 'The Wolf and the Lamb', those fables appearing below.

The Fontana Maggiore is a monumental fountain built in Perugia, Italy between 1275 and 1277, a masterpiece of medieval sculpture. It was designed by frà Bevignate da Cingoli to celebrate the arrival of water in the acropolis of the city, by means of the new aqueduct. With the help of other professionals, the fountain accomplished an incredible endeavour, being able to carry the water coming from monte Pacciano, located a few kilometres, without the help of pumps. By means of a forced pressure duct, the water flowed uphill instead of downhill.

Fontana Maggiore, Perugia, Italy

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The Wolf and the Crane

A feeding wolf got a small bone stuck in his throat and, in terrible pain, begged the other animals for help, promising a reward.

At last the Crane agreed to try and, putting its long bill down the Wolf's throat, loosened the bone and took it out.

When the Crane asked for his reward, the Wolf replied, "You have put your head inside a wolf’s mouth and taken it out again in safety; that ought to be reward enough for you."

Moral:

In serving the wicked, expect no reward, and be thankful if you escape injury for your pains.

Stephan Horota's sculpture of the fable in Berlin's Treptower Park, 1968

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The Wolf and the Lamb

A stray Lamb stood drinking early one morning on the bank of a woodland stream. That very same morning a hungry Wolf came by farther up the stream, hunting for something to eat. He soon got his eyes on the Lamb. As a rule Mr. Wolf snapped up such delicious morsels without making any bones about it, but this Lamb looked so very helpless and innocent that the Wolf felt he ought to have some kind of an excuse for taking its life.

"How dare you paddle around in my stream and stir up all the mud!" he shouted fiercely. "You deserve to be punished severely for your rashness!"

"But, your highness," replied the trembling Lamb, "do not be angry! I cannot possibly muddy the water you are drinking up there. Remember, you are upstream and I am downstream."

"You do muddy it!" retorted the Wolf savagely. "And besides, I have heard that you told lies about me last year!" "How could I have done so?" pleaded the Lamb. "I wasn't born until this year."

"If it wasn't you, it was your brother!"

"I have no brothers."

"Well, then," snarled the Wolf, "It was someone in your family anyway. But no matter who it was, I do not intend to be talked out of my breakfast."

And without more words the Wolf seized the poor Lamb and carried her off to the forest.

Moral:

The tyrant can always find an excuse for his tyranny.

The unjust will not listen to the reasoning of the innocent.

Friday, April 2, 2021

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 






GOOD FRIDAY


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Today is Good Friday. 

It reminds me of the joke . . .
Jesus: What do people call the day I was crucified?
Me: Good Friday. We call it "Good Friday."
Jesus: What the . . . ?

However, the word “good’ in this context does not mean the opposite of bad, nor is it derived from the term “God’s Friday”, as is commonly thought. Instead it comes from an antiquated meaning of “good” as “holy”, just as the Bible was known as the “good book.

In the past it was common to send Easter cards, which no one does today.

Following is an article about the Victorian tendency to send bizarre and odd Easter cards . . .

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Source:

The odd world of Victorian Easter cards
By Bethan Bell
BBC News

Published 28 March 2016


Have you heard the one about a chick with a broken leg 
who goes into to a red Jewish egg-bar? 
No. No-one has

With their predilection for prolonged mourning and children who were seen but not heard, the Victorians have tended to be associated with moral solemnity. But they were not just bombazine-clad poker faces. They loved to send greetings cards at the drop of a hat - and Easter was as good an excuse as any.

According to the Greeting Card Association we are sending more cards today than ever before - although not many of us habitually send Easter cards.

But in the 1870s, the introduction of the halfpenny stamp meant sending cards was affordable for almost everyone - and it became something of a craze.

The idea of posting Christmas cards was leapt upon and it was natural for the next Christian festival to follow.


So many questions: Why are they naked? 
Why have they been furnished with special hammers?


Again, lots of questions...


Victorians had unconventional ideas of where babies come from

Perhaps unusually for a society often considered to have been sickly-sweet and sentimental, as well as deeply principled, their Easter cards were not particularly religious in tone.

But unlike their Christmas cards they were in keeping with the holiday. At Easter, kittens, eggs and energetic hares bounded and abounded.


Unhappy bunnies: 
Rabbits scratched while breaking out of shells can at least look forward to smoking a pipe-egg full of violets


"Surprise!"

Helen Jones, who collects and deals in Victoriana, said the Victorians were especially fond of the unusual and even enjoyed "freak shows", in which people with "physical peculiarities" were put on display.

Such diversions were popular enough for permanent venues to be established, including one at London's Egyptian Hall.


A newborn chick looks on as its sibling is born into a frying pan 
wielded by an aproned rabbit


The hare on the left is especially 
unimpressed with the seasonal outfit


Nothing says "Happy Easter" quite like hares riding on to a battlefield


"What do you mean, you want a DNA test?"

"One great favourite was a woman who had no hands or fingers, but used to crochet using her feet. She travelled all over Europe and was invited into the homes of rich people.

"So although we might see some of these cards as a bit odd, in context they are actually pretty tame."


Frogs and giant wasps are just mean


So that's where singing maids live

According to the Library of Birmingham, making scrapbooks became a popular pastime for wealthy children and women, who would have created their own albums as keepsakes and to share with others.

Cards would be pasted into albums along with decorative chromolithographs or "scraps" and other ephemera of the period. Unusual pictures would be especially valued.

"I'd have thought any Victorian album-maker would be delighted to have some of these," Miss Jones said.

"And I'd also hope they'd be pleased we still enjoy them today.

"If 'enjoy' is the right word."


It won't be a happy ending for the chicks, 
despite giant eggs to cower in

Accidents happen in all walks of life. 
Admittedly, not many involve falling off a ladder 
into a very yolky egg






Thursday, April 1, 2021

FUNNY THURSDAY

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Tomorrow being Good Friday, Funny Friday is moved forward to today.

Is that alright with you, buddy? . . . 


Warning: risque content ahead.

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SOME HUMOUR:

Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now.

That ship has sailed.
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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.

I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
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A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
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A gorgeous blonde woman steps out of a taxi, banging her head quite hard against the door frame.

As she stands holding her hand to her scalp, a gentleman, who'd seen it happen, approaches and asks, "Excuse me Miss, is your head okay?!"

The blonde replies, "Well, I haven't had any recent complaints."
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully, he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"
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An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."
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A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.

She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.

I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."

He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.

Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote...

"I can see your feet.

We're outta bread: be back in five minutes.


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FROM THE VAULT:

More a visual one but worth including, from the 2009 road movie Charlie and Boots, Paul Hogan as Charlie talking to his son, nicknamed Boots:


To see the clip, click on:

As told by Paul Hogan in the movie . . .

So one day God was sitting around in Heaven on his Lay-Z-Boy recliner. Well, he can if he wants to - he's God.

And he saw his son come in and he said, "Jesus, lad, over here." He said, "I've been looking down at Earth and it's a terrible mess. I'm gonna have to send you down there to straighten them out."

And Jesus said, "My pleasure, Dad."

"There's a bit of a drawback, though, " he said. "I'm gonna have to send you as a human being. You'll be mortal and I'm afraid you're gonna have to die for their sins."

Jesus says, "Ohhh, you know, OK, your wish is my command.”

He said, "Look, son, the best thing I can do, though, is I can give you a choice in how you're gonna die. You can either be crucified or you can be stung to death by killer bees”

And that's the reason that all over the world today, Christians make the sign of the cross (makes the sign of the cross). and not...

(gesticulates with both arms and hands as though wildly trying to wave away bees).
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Old man Cohen is getting along in years. He decides to retire and let his 3 sons run the company, which manufactures a wide variety of nails. The sons think that they can increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.

A week later the old man is taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he sees a huge billboard ad with a picture of Christ on the Cross. The caption reads "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Cohen’s Nails."

The old man immediately meets with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He tells them that the backlash could be horrendous and that he wants to see no further ads showing Christ crucified. The sons agree to do so.

A week later the old man is again taking his usual Sunday drive when he sees a billboard with a picture of the same cross, empty. The caption reads “If they had used Cohen’s Nails, He would still be there.”
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In the same vein . . .


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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

Also from the vault, but appropriate for Easter:

There was a young lady named Alice
Who peed in a Catholic chalice.
'Twas the common belief
It was done for relief,
And not out of Protestant malice.

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GALLERY:







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CORN CORNER:

What do you do with a drunken sailor?
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
What do you do with a drunken sailor,
Early in the morning?

Don't let him drive that cargo freighter.
Don't let him steer that cargo freighter.
Don't let him near that cargo freighter,
Early in the morning.
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband....

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!’
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For her birthday I bought my wife new beads for her abacus.

It's the little things that count.

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QUOTE FOR THE DAY

G Gordon Liddy (1930 – March 30, 2021) was an American lawyer, FBI agent, talk show host, actor, and figure in the Watergate scandal as the chief operative in the White House Plumbers unit during the Nixon administration. Liddy was convicted of conspiracy, burglary, and illegal wiretapping for his role in the scandal.

Liddy died on March 30, 2021, at his daughter's house in Fairfax County, Virginia. He was 90, and suffered from Parkinson's disease prior to his death.