MORE HER MAJ ANECDOTES

__________

On the occasion of her 72nd anniversary to her husband, Prince Philip, the Queen of England loudly commented during a public appearance: “What’s the date?”

__________

According to the book The Wicked Wit of Queen Elizabeth II, after Queen Elizabeth’s cousin-in-law Princess Michael of Kent made a comment on television on how she’d like to shoot the queen’s corgis, the monarch retorted: “They’re better behaved than she is.”

__________

At the 2016 Chelsea Flower Show, a gardener told her how lilies of the valley have poisonous traits. The queen replied, darkly, “I’ve been given two bunches this week. Perhaps they want me dead.”

__________

In 2007, Queen Elizabeth made an official visit to the White House. During the welcome ceremony, President George W. Bush mistakenly said the queen helped Americans celebrate their bicentennial in 1776, not 1996. He quickly corrected the error, but the queen wouldn’t let him live it down: At a formal dinner two days later, she began her speech by saying, “I wondered whether I should start this toast by saying, ‘When I was here in 1776...’ ”

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When visiting New Zealand in 1986, the queen and Prince Philip were pelted with eggs thrown by protestors. Later, at a state banquet, she remarked: “New Zealand has long been renowned for its dairy produce, though I should say that I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.”

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In the summer of 2013, royal baby watch hit a fervor as the world waited for Prince George. When pressed for clues at an engagement, the queen simply replied:…“I hope it arrives soon because I’m going on holiday.”

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In the ’60s, she watched the Everly Brothers singing “Cathy’s Clown” at the annual royal variety performance. To say she was unimpressed was an understatement: She muttered to her lady-in-waiting that they sounded like “two cats being strangled.”

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Once, while driving up to the Royal Windsor Horse Show, she was unrecognised by a guard. “Sorry, love, you can’t come in without a sticker,” he told her. The Queen, unfazed, replied: “I think if you check, I will be allowed to come in!”

__________

During an interview for the documentary The Coronation, the queen joked to BBC’s Alastair Bruce about the difficulties of wearing a crown: “You can’t look down to read the speech,” she said of donning the diadem during official ceremonies. “If you did, your neck would break.”

__________

In an argument with the Queen Mother, the elder royal said to her daughter—“Who do you think you are?” To which Queen Elizabeth replied: “The Queen, mummy, the Queen.”

__________

Artist Juliet Pannett, when she was painting a portrait of Queen Elizabeth, was told by the monarch about a funny run-in she had while out buying groceries. Whilst at Sandrigham "they were having tea when they ran out of cake. So, the Queen said she had gone down to the local shop to buy some, wearing a head scarf. As she came out of the shop, an elderly lady said, 'Good heavens, you look just like the queen.' She replied 'How reassuring' and just kept walking. It was a wonderful tale."

__________

In 2005, she met musician Eric Clapton at a reception at Buckingham Palace that was being held to celebrate the country's music industry. When Clapton introduced himself to the queen, she asked, "Have you been playing a long time?" Fortunately, Clapton didn't take offense at the Queen's not knowing who he was. “It must be 45 years now,” he calmly replied.

__________

At her coronation, Queen Elizabeth had to wear a set of heavy robes. Before the ceremony began, she turned to the Archbishop of Canterbury, asking him to give her a little nudge to "get me started." The carpet at Westminster Abbey had been installed with its pile going the wrong way. As a result, the queen couldn't easily move because the fringe of her robes kept getting caught in the carpet's pile, clawing at her back when she tried to walk.

__________

The Queen wears neon outfits so that people who have waited hours to see her will be able to catch a glimpse of her brightly coloured clothes. To further ensure that people can see her, the queen isn't afraid to tell someone off. One commander learned that the hard way when he stood in front of her during a state visit, blocking the crowd's view of the royal carriage. "Actually, Captain, I think it's me they've come to see," the queen joked.

__________

When Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau toasted to Queen Elizabeth's 60-year reign, she responded, "Thank you, Mr. Prime Minister of Canada, for making me feel so old."

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When London hosted the 2012 Olympics, the Queen participated in a skit with "James Bond" actor Daniel Craig in which she appeared to jump out of a helicopter.

The helicopter jump was actually performed by stuntman Gary Connery, but Queen Elizabeth "was very amused by the idea and agreed immediately," royal dressmaker Angela Kelly wrote in her memoir, "The Other Side of the Coin: The Queen, the Dresser and the Wardrobe."

"I asked then if she would like a speaking part," Kelly wrote. "Without hesitation, Her Majesty replied: 'Of course I must say something. After all, he is coming to rescue me.'"

In an appearance on the BBC's "The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show," Craig said that the Queen showed off her improvisation skills during their scenes together.

"She literally kind of said, 'Would you like me to pretend to be writing?' And he's like, 'Yes, that's great, that's great.' So she sort of acted a bit. That was all her own stuff. It was amazing."

__________

In 2012 John and Frances Canning had booked Manchester Town Hall for their civil wedding. Learning that the Queen was going to be at the Town Hall that day, they sent her a lighthearted invitation to join them. The Palace sent back a polite thank you.

Without the prior knowledge by the bride and groom, the Queen made a surprise visit to their wedding.

According to Frances: “When we had our ceremony, the staff asked us to wait for a moment in the corridor and just a few minutes later the Queen arrived. She knew both our names and apparently we had been especially added to her rota.”

Groom John, 48, said: “I’m a big fan of the Royal family. When we found out who the VIP was we wrote to her, a bit light-heartedly, and got a nice letter back from a lady in waiting. We didn’t expect anything further to come from it.”

The couple’s 40 guests stared in amazement as the Queen, Prince Philip, and dignitaries lined up to congratulate the newlyweds.

He said: “The Queen asked how we were feeling, and congratulated us. Prince Philip was asking where in Italy we were going for our honeymoon. They had clearly been briefed about what we were doing.”

Despite their shock, the groom had the presence of mind to bow, and the bride to curtsey.

__________

By the way, the pic of Her Maj and 007 gave rise to some memes at the time . . .

__________

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

QUEEN'S BIRTHDAY

__________

Today is Her Maj’s birthday, well it’s not really, she was born on April 21, 1926 but in most States in Oz it is celebrated on the second Monday in June and is a public holiday. This allows more even spacing of holidays and the release of the Queen’s Birthday Honours List.

Here are some anecdotes about Her Maj . . .

__________

At Highclere, better known as Downton Abbey, a farm worker was wedged under a broken-down trailer when he heard a familiar voice asking, ‘Can I help?’ It was the Queen, in a headscarf, out walking with a dog. She is one of those guests who wants to make a contribution.

__________

When the Queen is recording her Christmas broadcast, the producer puts surprise silly pictures at strategic points to ensure that she smiles.

__________

After Prince Andrew was born, the Queen had a post-baby phase of not working. Once she went to the theatre with Prince Philip and had become so anonymous she was shown to the wrong seats.

__________

‘I can’t wear beige because people won’t know who I am,’ the Queen once said.

__________

The Queen’s handbag has an unusual secondary function – as a signalling device. Handbag placed on the dinner table means, ‘I want to leave in five minutes.’ Handbag moved from arm to arm says, ‘It’s time to talk to someone else.’

__________

There were lots of parties on Malta in the 1940s, when Princess Elizabeth was enjoying a spell as an ordinary naval officer’s wife. Spoons and buns would fly through the air, according to Henriette Abel Smith, the lady-in-waiting. If it got really hazardous, Prince Philip would sit both ladies on the piano to keep them out of danger.

__________

In June 2011, the Queen was having lunch at Windsor with racing friends. ‘Boeing 747,’ she said at one point. Then she said, ‘Airbus.’ The castle is right next to Heathrow airport and planes roar overhead. The Queen knows them all by their sound.

__________

On a tour of Canada in 1950, the Duke of Edinburgh chased his wife down the corridor of a train, wearing some joke false teeth.

__________

‘I shall call her Bud,’ said Princess Elizabeth, when informed that her new sister was to be called ‘Margaret Rose.’ ‘She isn’t really a rose yet. She’s only a bud.’

__________

‘It’s what we’re made for’: the Queen’s view of child-bearing.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

REMEMBERING HEROES: ALBERT CHOWNE, VC

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______________

Continuing the stories behind the names on the signs at the rest stops on the Remembrance Driveway, which goes from Sydney to Canberra.

The highway commemorates persons awarded the Victoria Cross by naming rest stops after him.

The Victoria Cross (VC) is the highest and most prestigious award of the military honours system, awarded for valour "in the presence of the enemy".

The VC was introduced on 29 January 1856 by Queen Victoria to honour acts of valour during the Crimean War. The metal used to make every Victoria Cross medal has been made from cannons captured by the British at the siege of Sevastopol.

______________

Albert Chowne, VC (1920-1945)

_____________

Location of rest stop:

Marulan NSW

______________

Early life

Chowne was born in Sydney. In 1935, he began work as a shirt-cutter with David Jones. In his spare time Chowne played rugby union and tennis, and took part in Scouting.

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Second World War

Chowne enlisted in the Second Australian Imperial Force in late May 1940 and served in the Middle East from November 1940. His unit later joined the North African campaign, defending Tobruk for eight months in 1941. During his time at Tobruk he was promoted to corporal.

After Tobruk Chowne performed garrison duties in Syria and was promoted to sergeant. He was wounded in the leg and hand at El Alamein the following month and spent three weeks in hospital. He returned to Australia with the battalion in January 1943.

In July, the unit was deployed to New Guinea campaign, taking part in the Battle of Finschhafen. Chowne, now commanding a mortar platoon, was awarded the Military Medal for twice crawling close to enemy positions to direct mortar fire. Regarded as exceptionally cool by his comrades, Chowne combined fearlessness with a self-effacing manner.

He was commissioned as a lieutenant in January 1944 and he married Daphne Barton, a corporal in the Australian Women's Army Service, in March that year.

________________

Victoria Cross action

On 25 March 1945 near Dagua Airfield in New Guinea, Chowne attacked an enemy position which was holding up further movement towards Wewak. Seeing that the leading platoon was suffering heavy casualties, Chowne rushed forward and knocked out two light machine guns with grenades and then, calling on his men to follow him and firing his sub machine gun from the hip, he charged the position. Although he was twice wounded in the chest, the impetus of his charge carried him forward 50 yards under intense machine gun and rifle fire and he accounted for two more of the enemy before he was killed.

Chowne was posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross.

He was buried at the Lae War Cemetery, Lae, New Guinea. 

His VC is displayed at the Australian War Memorial.

_______________

A further part of the story:

On 8 May 2015, Chowne's widow, Daphne Dunne, was in the crowd at the Sydney Opera House when Prince Harry was farewelled from Australia by the public at the end of a month-long deployment with the Australian Army. The prince recognised the VC medal in the cluster worn on Dunne's right breast, and approached her to discuss the medal as well as her own medals over her left breast.

The Daily Telegraph reported that Dunne had a conversation with the prince and "she told him how her first husband Lieutenant Albert Chowne died aged 25 in 1945 – just a year after they married – in a heroic attack on a Japanese machinegun post in Papua New Guinea. The red roses that Lt Chowne had arranged to be sent to his young bride on her birthday arrived just before the news he had been killed."

It went on to say: "She wed her second husband, Corporal John Dunne, who was captured in Malaya in 1942 and ended up in Changi POW camp ... (regarding the prince) In a show of affection as he leaned down towards her, she touched his face before he kissed her on the cheek."

Daphne Dunne died on 1 April 2019, shortly after receiving a birthday card from Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, to celebrate her 99th birthday.

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Gallery:

From left to right : Duchess of Gloucester, Duke of Gloucester, Daphne Chowne, Arthur Chowne (Albert's father)

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QUOTE FOR THE DAY

 

FROM THE VAULT: CLIFF YOUNG

A re-post from Bytes April 10, 2010, an inspiring story about a truly inspiring person . . .

Cliff Young (1922 - 2003)

A marathon is 42.2 kilometres in length. Runs longer than that are known as ultramarathons.

In 1983 the shopping centre chain Westfield decided to sponsor a run between the two biggest Westfields, those in Sydney and Melbourne, a distance of 875 kilometres. This made it one of the world’s longest and toughest ultramarathons. People who had run between the two cities in the past had done so in 7 days at best.

The run attracted a large number of entrants, 150 of the world’s best runners. On the morning of the race as they registered at a table, an old man wearing overalls and galoshes over his work boots (because he thought it might rain) slowly walked to the table. Most people paid him little mind in that they thought he was a spectator. The man was named Cliff Young and he was aged 61, a potato farmer from Colac outside Melbourne. He had never run a race before, had never had a coach or a trainer and said that he would like to give the race a try because it fit into his farming schedule.

He told sceptical and bemused reporters:

.. I grew up on a farm where we couldn’t afford horses or four wheel drives, and the whole time I was growing up – until about four years ago when we finally made some money and got a four wheeler – whenever the storms would roll in, I’d have to go out and round up the sheep. We had 2,000 head, and we have 2,000 acres. Sometimes I would have to run those sheep for two or three days. It took a long time, but I’d catch them. I believe I can run this race; it’s only two more days. Five days. I’ve run sheep for three.

As the run began, Cliff in his galoshes was quickly left behind, all the more so because he didn’t run, he just shuffled. The race was being televised live and sympathy quickly developed for the crazy old man who ran without his false teeth because they rattled when he ran, shuffling slowly at the back. Many hoped he would retire from the race before he died of a heart attack.

Cliff didn’t retire, nor did he stop. He shuffled to Mittagong and, like the Energizer bunny, he kept on going. When others slept, he shuffled. Traditional thinking was to run for 18 hours and sleep for 6. Asked his tactics for the race, he said that he would just keep running. And he did, 24 hours each day, getting a little closer to the leading pack each night. During the last night he passed them, winning the race in a record time of 5 days, 15 hours and 4 minutes, beating the world’s best distance runners in the process.

Asked what he thought about when on the road those long hours, he said that he imagined that he was chasing sheep and trying to outrun a storm.

When he was awarded the $10,000 prize he said that he had not been aware that there was a prize and that he had not entered for the money. Declaring that “there’re five other runners still out there doing it tougher than me,” he gave each $2,000.

Running the race again the following year, he was unable to repeat his win after suffering a number of medical problems, including his hip popping out of its socket, knee problems and shin splints. Nonetheless he finished and came 7th. He won a car as the winner of the most courageous runner award but said “I didn’t do it near as tough as old Bob McIlwaine. Here, Bob, you have the car,” and gave the keys to him.

In 1997, aged 76, he attempted to become the oldest man to run around Australia and raise money for homeless children. Forced to pull out after his only permanent crew member became ill, he managed to complete 6,520km of the 16,000km run.

Cliff Young died in 2003 aged 81.

In what is perhaps a fitting epitaph and tribute, the Cliff Young Shuffle has been adopted by ultra-marathon runners as expending the least energy and as being more aerodynamic. At least 3 winners of the Westfield run in later years used the Cliff Young Shuffle. Runners is later tears in the Westfield run also adopted Cliff’s technique of running without sleeping.

See and hear Cliff Young at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGFA2N0oS1Q&NR=1

Gallery:

Memorial to Young in the form of a gumboot in Beech Forest, Victoria

------oOo-----

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

FUNNY FRIDAY

------☹😊☹-------

I was watching a TV show where a female police officer kneed the bad guy in the groin, which is the polite way of saying in his cods (which in turn is the shortened form of the Cockney rhyming slang: Cods = Cobbler’s Awls = Balls).

It had me grimacing and also pondering it as an appropriate theme for some Funny Friday humour (although I think Kate does not always agree with my choices and selections).

Some of the following jokes about Jatz Crackers (= Knackers) are recycled and from the vault, but well worth another outing.

Caution:

As one would expect, there is plenty of risque content ahead.

-------☹😊☹-------

SOME HUMOUR:

__________

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you. I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

__________

A chap goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office.

The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything"? He replies, "Yes caffeine."

"Have you ever worked for the public service before." "Yes I was in the Army,” he says “I was in Iraq for two tours." The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.

Then he asks "Are you disabled in any way?" The chap says "Yes, a mine exploded next to me when I was there and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says "Okay. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm.......but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

The man is puzzled and asks "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am? I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know."

"What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. There's no point coming in for that."

__________

A man found himself lost and wandering in a forest. After a few hours trying to find his way, he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an old Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

"I'm lost," said the man, "can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese old man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man".

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a nice shape. She was obviously attracted to the man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

During the night, he could no longer bear it and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn, he crept back to his room exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest".

"Well that's pretty crappy," he thought, "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about". He picked the rock up, walked over to the window and threw the rock out.

As he did, so he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle". In panic, he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones were better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the rock.

As he plummeted downward, he saw a large sign on the ground that read "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost".

-------☹😊☹-------

Two young boys go into a chemist's, pick up a box of Tampax and go to the counter. 

The woman says to the older boy "How old are you?" 

"Eight" he replies. 

The woman says "Do you know how these are used?" 

The boy replies “No, not exactly, but they're not for me, they're for him, he's my brother, he's four. We saw the ad on TV and it said with these you'll be able to swim and ride a bike and he can't do either!"

-------☹😊☹-------

LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

There was a young lady at sea

Who said, "God, how it hurts me to pee."

"I see," said the mate,

"That accounts for the state

Of the Captain, the purser, and me."

-------☹😊☹-------

CORN CORNER:

Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news for you.”

Trans woman: “That’s not how you address me. I am a woman!”

Doctor: “Okay, ma'am, I have some bad news for you, you have testicular cancer.”

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One year I had been a naughty child and Santa left me a piece of coal.

So I poisoned his cookies. 

But the sneaky bastard found out and killed my dad.

__________

A guy walks into a bar and notices a framed picture of a cat hanging behind the bar.

"What happened to the picture of Buddha you used to have hanging back there?" he asks the bartender.

The bartender replies, "That was Zen, this is Meow."

__________

A mosquito landed on my testicles.

Hardest decision of my life.

-------☹😊☹-------

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Now that the Jubilee celebrations are over . . . 

AESOP'S FABLE: THE PROPHET

A prophet sat in the market-place and told the fortunes of all who cared to engage his services.

Suddenly there came running up one who told the prophet that his house had been broken into by thieves, and that they had made off with everything they could lay hands on.

He was up in a moment, and rushed off, tearing his hair and calling down curses on the miscreants.

The bystanders were much amused, and one of them said, “Our friend professes to know what is going to happen to others, but it seems he’s not clever enough to perceive what’s in store for himself.”

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

DESIDERATA

________________

• "Desiderata" is Latin for "things desired".

• Written by American writer Max Ehrmann, it has often been attributed to Old Saint Paul's Church, Baltimore AD 1692. This came about because in 1960, the Reverend Frederick Kates, rector of Saint Paul's Church in Baltimore, Maryland, included "Desiderata" in a compilation of devotional materials for his congregation. The compilation included the church's foundation date, "Old Saint Paul's Church, Baltimore AD 1692," which readers subsequently took, to be the date of the poem's composition.

• Ehrmann wrote the work in the early 1920s but did not give it a title, copyrighting it in 1927 by its first line. In 1933 he distributed the poem in the form of a Christmas card using the desiderata title.

• After Ehrmann died in 1945, his widow first published the work in 1948 in The Poems of Max Ehrmann. The 1948 version was in the form of one long prose paragraph but later it came to be partitioned into stanzas.

________________

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labours and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; 

the point is to discover them.

- Galileo Galilei (1564 -1642)

Italian astronomer, physicist and engineer who has been called the "father" of observational astronomy, modern physics, the scientific method and modern science.

Portrait. 1636

AN OBITUARY TO COMMON SENSE

From the Bytes vault in 2015 . . .

The below item was emailed to me a week or so ago by a friend and it touched of a discussion as to whether one of the observations made was valid.  More of that at the end.

An obituary to common sense

An Obituary printed in the London Times:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

Why the early bird gets the worm;

Life isn’t always fair; and

Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death 

by his parents, Truth and Trust,

by his wife, Discretion,

by his daughter, Responsibility,

and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I’m A Victim

Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

_____________

Some comments . . . 

_____________

As I said, this was sent to me again by a friend.  It touched off a discussion as to the elderly woman who was burnt when hot coffee spilt on her lap and she was awarded damages by a court.  It is used to portray how far things have become removed from commonsense.

Not so.

Here are some links to articles about how the woman was unfairly treated, how the water was superheated, her proper entitlement to damages and how it is far removed from lack of commonsense . . .

https://www.citizen.org/article/legal-myths-the-mcdonalds-hot-coffee-case/

https://www.rosnerlaw.net/blog/did-you-know/the-real-hot-coffee-story/

Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants

Her horrific injuries:

https://jackcalvert.blogspot.com/p/stella-liebecks-injuries.html 

She was 79 years old when it happened.

_________________

The obit was written by Lori Borgman in 1998 and has been revised and modified a number of times since then.

Read the original etc at:

https://www.ieyenews.com/obituary-common-sense-is-dead/#:~:text=The%20Death%20of%20Common%20Sense%20%28C.S%29%20March%2015%2C,heart%20failure%20at%20the%20brink%20of%20the%20millennium.

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QUOTE FOR THE DAY

The Platinum Party at the Palace commenced with a pre-recorded video showing Her Maj having afternoon tea with Paddington Bear.

In the sketch the Queen is offered a marmalade sandwich by Paddington, noting he always keeps a sandwich for "emergencies." The Queen responds: So do I, I keep mine in here for later," before pulling a sandwich from her black purse.

Paddington then wishes the Queen a "Happy Jubilee ma'am" and says: "Thank you for everything," to which she responds: "That's very kind."

See it by clicking on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABniDx7xoFw

A PLATINUM JUBILEE ANECDOTE

 

The Queen played an amusing practical joke on two American tourists who were visiting Scotland according to Richard Griffin, her former protection officer. Speaking to Sky News the ex-security guard explained the visitors didn't recognise the Queen, and even asked her to take a photograph of themselves with him.

He explained: "The American gentleman was telling the Queen where he came from, where they were going to next, where they'd been to in Britain. And sure enough he said to Her Majesty 'and where do you live?' She said 'Well I live in London but I've got a holiday home the other side of the hills'." The American then asked how long the monarch had been visiting the area, to which she retorted "since I was a little girl - over 80 years".

As the meeting took place near to the Queen's Balmoral Estate he responded: "If you've been coming up here for 80 years you must have met the Queen."

Referring to her security guard the Queen, "quick as a flash", replied: "Well I haven't but Dick here meets her regularly."

One of the Americans then asked Mr Griffin what the Queen was like, to which he joked "Oh, she can be very cantankerous at times, but she's got a lovely sense of humour".

Mr Griffin continued: "The next thing I knew this guy comes round, but his arm around my shoulder and before I could see what was happening gets this camera, gives it to the Queen and says 'Can you take a picture of the two of us?'

"Anyway we [later]swapped places and I took a picture of them with the Queen and we never let on.

"We waved goodbye then Her Majesty said to me 'I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he shows those photos to friends in America'."