Friday, December 9, 2016

Funny Friday

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Time for some fun, it’s Friday.
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A warning, however, the following items contain some risqué content and language which some people may find objectionable.
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Kangaroos:

A video of a big kangaroo holding a dog went viral this week. The back story is that a group of guys were out pig shooting when the roo grabbed the dog in a headlock. One of the hunters came up to the roo, which let go the dog and then instead eyed the hunter. The latter delivered a punch to the roo;s head that was worthy of Rocky Balboa.  The kangaroo then hoppped off into the bush.

See the clip at:




The video prompted discussion along the lines that the hunter was abusing a wild animal. Little mentioned was that kangaroos usually fight by leaning back on their tail and using their lower legs and feet, both to kick and to disembowel.


I received a couple of images about that incident in the bush, the second with a slightly altered (and more risqué) wording . . . 



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The above also sets the theme for today’s Funny Friday: animals.
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Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" 
Man: "Yes!" 
Reporter: "Name?" 
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." 
Reporter: "Sex?" 
Man: "Three to five times a week." 
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" 
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." 
Reporter: "Holy cow!" 
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." 
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" 
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." 
Reporter: "Oh dear!" 
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? 

A. "How do you breathe through something so small?" 
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Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. 
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" 
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

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There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Duh huh guh nuh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock."
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Corn Corner:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into." 
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jaguar

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