Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Victorian Christmas cards

As Christmas cards start to go the way of moustache wax and buggy whips, it is worth having a look back at some Christmas cards of the past, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, a time of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas . . . weird, freaky and politically incorrect.

What says Christmas more than sparrows marching with torches? The sparrows are walking again.  Actually, there is something more symbolic of Christmas than jolly (?) sparrows goose stepping, and that is . . . 

 . . . murdered frog and a getaway by the perp.  I know the whole thing is bizarre but why is the victim frog naked when the other has clothes?

“May yours be a joyful Chistmas”, unlike the above wren, which is dead.  'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on!  . . .  is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! . . .  'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!!

Someone has offered an explanation that during the medieval ages, wrens could only be hunted/killed on St Stephens Day, the day after Christmas, that this was an ancient Druid custom.  Don’t know if I believe that, I haven’t looked into it but even if true, a jolly Christmas wish???

I will avoid the obvious comments and plays on word and will confine myself to asking why the female cat is using the fan as a modesty thing.  The cat behind doesn’t even have a fan.

      Maybe this is the animal equivalent of when the soldiers on the Western Front in WW1 stopped fighting and were friendly for Christmas. Or it’s Christmas at Chernobyl.

A merry White Walker Christmas. Or is that a frozen Gandalf or Chewbacca?  And still more birds.

Arrggghh!!!  My psyche!  Is this some Island of Dr Moreau thing?  This is just too creepy, how would it ever have passed as a Christmas card??

Not dead birds this time but drunk birds.  Although look in the background . . .  da dum . . . da dum . . . da da da da . . . . (screeching violins)

Awww.  Anyone who received this must have been immediately touched by the Christmas message and spirit, that it is the birthday of Jesus.  Question: what is he holding that is tucked in his belt?

How can it be a “crow for Christmas” if they’re chickens?  Why do they have chicken heads and human bodies, even with hands?  Why not just have portrayed two people tobogganing?  Winner winner, chicken dinner.

Lucky it was the water jug and not the gazunder.  Quite nasty, though, and look at the maniacal expressions on the couple in the window.  Plus the poor dog’s tail is being stepped on.  Not something I would have sent to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  If you’re religious.  Which I’m not.  And it's assault.

I suppose there is a Christmas message here: You’re about to meet Jesus!


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