Reader (daughter) comment

An email from my daughter:

Dear Father,

Having just read through your blog and further discussions with Kerrie, my editor/fairy godmother/friend, I would like to see the following

1. explanation of the term daylight robbery
2. a 1 year anniversary post about Cosmo as it is our birthday on the 1st April
3. what has happened to the Cost Concordia now it has faded away from the news
4. some more entertainment content
5. more mentions on yours truly

Kind regards,

Your daughter

Acacia, here ‘tis:

Some illusions. . .

I'm not usually fond of illusions and so haven't posted all that many.  I was especially turned off internet illusions when someone sent me one that I was staring at and it turned into one of those screamer images.  He was on my shit list for months after that.

Anyway, I'm in a bit of a rush and want to post something quickly so here are two.

The first may already have been posted some time ago but, in the words of that song, everything old is new again.  Besides, as a BBC exec said today in defending the BBC's showing of numerous 1970's sitcoms, it's not a repeat if you haven't seen it before:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1434989/If-the-BBC-shows-a-1970s-sitcom-which-you-havent-seen-before-does-that-mean-it-isnt-a-repeat.html

Concentrate on the four dots in the middle of the picture for about 30 seconds.  Try not to move your eyes or adjust your vision.

Then look up toward the ceiling or a white sheet of paper (have the paper ready) and keep staring.

Within seconds an image will start to appear.  Continue loooking at the image and it will become more defined.

Here is another, click on it to enlarge:

The next one is one of those Magic Eye type images where, if you start at it long enough, you will see a shark etc appear in 3D.  They are known as autostereograms and this one uses a pic instead of a flat patterns.  Click on the image to enlarge and stare at it, eventually you should see it in 3D...

 

(Does anyone recall the scene in Mall Rates where William has been staring at one of the  Magic Eye pics for ages trying to see an image when a young girl walkks up and looks at it...

Little Girl: [looking at a Magic Eye poster] Wow. It's a schooner. 

William Black: Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a sailboat. 

Little Girl: A schooner IS a sailboat stupid head! 

William Black: [becoming enraged] You know what? There is NO Easter Bunny! Over there, that's just a guy in a suit!)

Reader Comment

Byter Leo sent me an email about the clip of the fire truck going through the floodwaters:

Otto,

I originally sent that through to the boys. I had my suspicions from the start that it was a training exercise or had been done a couple of times as there is no surprise shown from the people on the back of the truck and they have a beautifully set up camera recording everything.  (The news reports about the incidents state that the clip was recorded by a bystander. - Otto)

My greatest memory of this is in a four-wheel-drive crossing the Fitzroy River at the top of Cape York. The bloke I was with was a professional guide and he told me that he has always been the first person to cross this river after the annual monsoons abate in May each year. How he does it is that he fits a snorkel to the top of his exhaust which everybody knows is about roof level on a normal four-wheel-drive and then he goes through the river. Did I mention it is crocodile infested? He doesn't take any people with him on the first trip as he wants to make sure that the normal bottom of rock is still in place and there are no big rocks or trees lying there as a result of the floods. He was completely mad.

He wanted to show me how he did it by using a piece of river next to the usual crossing. I very non-politely declined.

I saw photos of his car doing this crossing and it is completely submerged with only the snorkel attached to his exhaust above the river flow. I asked him what would happen if he misjudged the height of the river or hit a log or stone or got bogged and he simply laughed hysterically and said he would be eaten by crocodiles if he didn't drown first. A very interesting trip for 14 days with this maniac.

Leo

Quote: Dame Nellie Melba

"There are two things I like stiff and one of them's jelly."

-          Dame Nellie Melba, during a shipboard dinner on being served soft jelly as a result malfunctioning  refrigeration.

Dame Nellie Melba (1861-1931), born Helen “Nellie” Porter Mitchell in Richmond, Victoria, was an Australian operatic soprano.  She was one of the most famous singers of the late Victorian era and the early 20^th century, one of the first international superstars and the first Australian to achieve international recognition as a classical musician.  Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi!.  Melba’s stage name was a shortened version of her native city, Melbourne. She had an ego and appetite to match her superstar status and Escoffier invented Peach Melba and Melba toast in her honour.

Melba dies in 1931 in St Vincent’s Hospital, Sydney, aged 69.  The cause of death was septicaemia which had developed after facial surgery in Europe some time before.  The circumstances of her death have been somewhat mysterious.

In 2004 the ABC’s Rewind program gave fuller details:

Historians have long puzzled over her death certificate. It says she died from septicaemia, but how did she contract this fatal infection? For 70 years, the nuns at St Vincent’s kept the cause of Melba’s death a secret. NURSING SISTER’S MEDICAL REPORT: “While in Europe, Dame Nellie Melba had a facelift, possibly in Switzerland. But an infection developed, so that by the time her homeward voyage had progressed as far as the Red Sea, she had erysipelas and was seriously ill. Not only was Dame Nellie in great pain from the incision on each side of her face, but she had a heart condition. She was specialised by a Sister of Charity and so strict were the rules of confidentiality that scarcely any other member of the nursing staff knew the nature of the complaint, even to this day.”

People will also know Nellie Melba as one of the faces on the Oz $100 note:

Flood drive

 

Byter John emailed me a link to a video clip of a fire truck driving through flood waters. 

The clip can be viewed by clicking on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=janfyzt4Qyk

At first I assumed that it was taken during the New South Wales floods last week.  Apart from the amazement at the depth of the water that the truck manages to get through, my other reaction was that it seemed a bit of a silly thing to attempt.

Looking into it a bit deeper, it emerged (ha ha) that the story was from Christmas Day 2011 during floods in Melbourne’s northeast and that the truck involved was from the Country Fire Authority.  The CFA  provides firefighting and other emergency services to the country areas and regional townships within Victoria and to parts of  the outer suburban areas of Melbourne not covered by the Metropolitan Fire Brigade.

An investigation was launched (ha ha) into the incident but I am unaware of the outcome.  It has been suggested that once the crossing commenced, the driver needed to keep going but the driver has found himself in hot water (okay, enough of the water puns) in that the  incident occurred at the same time as authorities were warning drivers in the state not to drive, walk or ride through floodwaters.

Some points to note about the clip:

·         the logs and timbers near the windscreen at the beginning of the clip;

·         the size of the bow wave.

Some other vids of extreme drive throughs:

Stupid driver goes through fast floodwater in bus with kids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRu-3LkzJx0&feature=related

Army truck drives through floodwaters during Hurricane Irene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnT7thvsPM4&feature=related

Truck drives through water with bow wave nearly completely over windscreen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mXTD8B3RiU

Driving in water along the shoreline:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHUhzn_SE8Q&feature=related

Reader Comment: Crocs and Alligators

 

Byter Steve writes:

Hello Otto,

I think I will finally have my Guru stumped with this one! 

I watching the news today about a crocodile that attacked a boat near Darwin. Apparently it grabbed hold of the outboard motor and tried to “roll” the boat. The location was “Alligator Creek” and it has prompted me to ask why it would be called “Alligator” creek.  We have “crocs” here but I didn’t think we had “gators”. If that is correct, how on earth did Alligator Creek get it’s name?

Too easy:


The attack took place in the South Alligator River in Kakadu National Park.  The fishermen were asleep in their boat when a 4 metre crocodile attacked their boat, taking a chunk out of the outboard motor.  The story is at:

http://blogs.abc.net.au/nt/2012/03/croc-attacks-outboard-motor.html and

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2012/03/05/292195_ntnews.html

About quotes

 

Readers will know that I frequently post quotations.

John Lloyd and John Mitchinson, in the preamble to their book “Advanced Banter, The QI Book of Quotations” have provided some observations on the utility and value of quotations:

There’s an old craftsman’s saw:  ‘If the other fellow can do it better, let him.’  That’s how we feel about quotations.  They are the best bits of the best minds, the records of the funniest, truest, wisest and most memorable things anyone has ever said.  A good quotation is a keyhole view of a boundless universe, like one of the windows called ‘squints’ in medieval cathedrals through which only the altar is visible.

Using quotations isn’t a mark of cowardice, inarticulacy or false modesty.  It’s a demonstration of what sets us humans apart: our ability to learn from one another, to share, to talk and to remember. …there are people who exist only on the pages of quotation books, whose life and work has evaporated completely leaving behind just one or tow tiny puddles of wisdom.

Funny Friday

 

Today, some hearing humour . . .

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Marjorie notices something peculiar about Mabel's ear and says, '"Mabel, why on earth do you have a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel, surprised, replies, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulls it out and stares at it for a moment. Blushing, she replies, "Marj, sweetheart, thanks for letting me know. Now I think I know where to find my missing hearing aid."

A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." 

"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?" 

"Twelve thirty."

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."


The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

International Women's Day

Today, March 8, is International Women's Day.  Spare a thought for the journey made and that still to go.

“It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union.... Men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. 

 ~Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)

Some more Rita Rudner quotes . . .

 

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid.  Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

 

Origins: Loopholes

 

Some words are easy to guess at as regards origins, others are a bit of a puzzle.  This came to mind recently when someone used the word “loophole” in the context of a contract.  We all know what a loophole is – a technicality that allows escape from a contract or a commitment – but how did the word originate?  I figured that a loophole was obviously some sort of hole that had allowed escape but why "loop"?

One explanation sometimes offered is that it comes from the narrow slits in the walls of medieval castles that were used by archers and later musketeers. These narrow openings were called loopholes, the word “loop” being an obsolete word for “window”.  The strategy behind such openings was that it was easy to launch arrows and projectiles from them without having similar objects coming back through the slits.  It has been suggested that because the loophole could be used by children and small adults as a means of escape, the term came to be applied to a means of escaping a contract.

The more likely explanation is that the word comes from the Dutch word “loopen”, meaning “to run”, which is still reflected in the English words “lope” and “leap”.  Another Dutch word “lupen”, meaning “to watch, peer”, is the likely origin of the castle loophole, the word “lupenhole” meaning window hole.

The word loophole in the sense of contractual loophole, allowing evasion, was firstr used by the poet Andrew Marvell in 1663.

In 1946 when W C Fields, on his deathbed, was observed to be reading the Bible, an observer commented that he that he had not shown any interest in that book previously.  “Just looking for loopholes”, he replied. 

Camel Toes

 

(Click on the image to enlarge)

For all you doubting the authenticity of thie above letter and response, Snopes.com has confirmed that it is real.  Read the Snopes item at:

http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/cameltoad.asp

This exchange appeared in the 15 June 2005 instalment of "Ask Leslie," and advice column written by librarian Leslie Potter for the Hays Daily News in Kansas.

Ms Potter has commented:

"There were several staff members at the library's front desk the morning the "camel toads" letter arrived. When I opened and read it, I was thoroughly puzzled, as I had never heard of either camel toads or camel toes. But when I read it aloud to the staff, they practically started rolling on the floor. And their explanation is almost word-for-word what I used in my answer. I kept the original letter as a memento - and to show people who didn't believe it could be real!" 

She believes the letter to be genuine, saying that:

I recognised the handwriting on the envelope as being from someone who writes in frequently, if anonymously- always legitimate questions, so I have no reason to suspect this particular question was a fraud.

Btw, the male version of camel toe is known as moose knuckle.

Pics

Last Words: Charles M Schulz

 

“Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy...how can I ever forget them...”

-          Charles M Schulz

Charles Monroe Schulz (1922 –2000), was the author of the comic strip Peanuts.  A shy timid youth, possibly from being the youngest in his class, he had his drawings rejected for his high school year book.  Sixty years later the school erected a 5 foot statue of Snoopy.  Following war service he took a job as an art teacher.

In 1947 his cartoon strip Li’l Folks was syndicated in various newspapers but was dropped in 1950, whereupon Schulz published some of the best strips from Li’l Folks, the origin for Peanuts.

Peanuts ran from 1950 to 2000, with reprints and reruns continuing to the present day.  The strip is considered to be the most popular and influential in the history of the comic strip, amongst other influences having cemented the four-panel gag strip.  At its peak Peanuts ran in over 2,600 newspapers, with a readership of 355 million in 75 countries.

Schulz continued to write the strip until forced to retire for health reasons.  At his retirement there were still 5 original Sunday Peanuts strips to be published.  The last was due to be published on 13 February 2000 and was drawn to announce his retirement.  Sadly, Charles Schulz died the night before, aged 77, of a fatal heart attack.  He had also been suffering from cancer.

The last original Penauts strip, which ran on 13 February 2000, shows Charlie Brown telling a person on the telephone that Snoopy is unable to come to the phone in that he is writing.  The rest of the strip shows Snoopy sitting at his typewriter, thinking, with a note from Charles Schulz which reads:

Dear Friends,

I have been fortunate to draw Charlie Brown and his friends for almost fifty years. It has been the fulfilment of my childhood ambition. Unfortunately, I am no longer able to maintain the schedule demanded by a daily comic strip, My family does not wish "Peanuts" to be continued by anyone else, therefore I am announcing my retirement. I have been grateful over the years for the loyalty of our editors and the wonderful support and love expressed to me by fans of the comic strip. Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy...how can I ever forget them...

Charles M Schulz

(Click on the image to enlarge).