A few funnies about fathers and sons . . .
How young kids see their dads.
Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.
To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."
Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.
Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off."
An Amish lad is standing beside the road with a big load of wooden crates that just tipped over off his wagon. A man passing by notices the young man struggling to get the crates picked up. The young Amish lad is huffing and puffing and sweating profusely working very hard on a very hot day with the sun beating down on him. The man asks the Amish lad why he is working so hard when it is so hot outside and he could seriously injure himself or get heat stressed. The Amish lad replies, that he needs to get these crates picked up or his father will kill him.
"You need to slow down," replied the man, "before the heat overtakes you. You should take a break."
The Amish lad relents to the advice of his elder, and the two sit under a shade tree and drink some fresh water the traveler happened to have with him.
The man then asked of the lad, "Where is your father? Maybe I should have a talk with him and straighten this all out."
"He's underneath all of them crates," answered the Amish lad.
A pregnant teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says "Can you come and get me? I think ma water has broken."
"Okay," says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?"
"From my knickers tae ma feet."
And to all the Dads, Happy Father's Day for this Sunday . . .
Caution: risque limerick ahead
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, " 'Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."