Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Some more about old age . . .


I received an email from Jake K of Savannah, Georgia in response to the old age poem:
Thanks for the Senior Citizens alphabet! I am fast approaching 70, and could tick off quite a few of the items on the list. 
I won the genetic lottery and am enjoying better health than many in my baby-boom cohort!
Thanks, Jake.

I also received an email from friend and trivia team member Kerrie B:
What happened to M?
Ironically the letter M in the poem is for Memory and I don’t know why it somehow disappeared from my posting. And no, it’s not the case that I forgot to include it.

Thanks, Kez.

So, posted below, is the correct poem, plus 2 more about getting old . . . 

New Alphabet:

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

The Alphabet For Seniors

A's for arthritis, 
B's the bad back, 
C's the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline, 
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention, 
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it low; 
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, 
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex? 
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; 
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? 
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, 
T is for tinnitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow, 
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, now what's going 'round? 
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have - in my mind!

Prayer for Old Age

God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.


I'm Fine, How are You?

Author unknown

There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

Arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.

I'm fine, how are you ?

A repost from past years . . . 

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