Wednesday, January 7, 2015

CRAFT and More


Caution: risque language


When I arrived at my office yesterday, I realised that I had left the power lead for my laptop at home, which No 1 son Thomas was kind enough to collect and drop off. That evening when I unpacked my laptop at home, I realised that I had left the lead at the office. Knowing that Thomas was out for the night, I sent him a text message asked if he was able to collect it on his way home and he agreed to do so, commenting that it appeared I didn’t like that lead. I responded “CRAFT”, which is an acronym explained below.

I worked out later that the reason rthat I kept forgetting it was that a day or so earlier I had purchased a new mouse. Whereas my previous mouse had been with a lead, Officeworks told me that all the mouses (mice?) they now sold were cordless. Being used to disconnecting my laptop, then putting the mouse with the lead and the transformer with the lead into the same bag, my trigger for remembering the electrical lead was gone, that trigger being the cord on the mouse.

It started me thinking, however, about acronyms.

WW2 generations used acronyms such as SNAFU and SFA, later came FUBAR and SWALK, then internet speak such as CUL8R.

In the interests of assisting communication, here are some of the more common acronyms that may be useful at some time or other:


CRAFT
Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing
SNAFU
Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
SFA
Sweet Fuck All / Sweet Fanny Adams
FUBAR
Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
LOMBARD
Lot Of Money But A Real Dickhead
FIGJAM
Fuck I’m Good, Just Ask Me.
SWALK
Sealed With A Loving Kiss
DINK
Double Income, No Kids
NORWICH
Nickers Off, Ready When I Come Home   
SWOT
SWOT analysis:
Strengths, Weapons, Opportunities, Threats
SITCOM
Single Income, Two Children, Outrageous Mortgage 
NIMBY
Not In My Backyard
NIABY
Not In Anyone’s Backyard
SOBBY
Some Other Bugger’s Backyard
CAVE
Citizens Against Virtually Everything
AHOYA
Arsehole Of The Year Award
OMG
Oh My God
AKA
Also Known As
ALF
Always Listen First
LOL
Laughing Out Loud
LMAO
Laughing My Arse Off
ROFLMAO
Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Arse Off
BTW
By The Way
FWIW
Fop What It’s Worth
DNA
National Dyslexic Association
(Nahh, that’s not true)
FIIK
Fucked If I Know
FYI
For Your Information
NFI
No Fucking Idea
DILLIGARD
Do I Look Like I Give A Damn?
IMHO
In My Humble Opinion
PICNIC
Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
NSS
No Shit, Sherlock!


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