Friday, January 16, 2015

Funny Friday

Caution: risque items included.

I have previously posted a Funny Friday on the topic of tattoos, here is some more, isnpired by my watching Tattoo Nightmares last night . . .



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An older lady walks into a Tattoo parlor on the seedy side of town. The Tat artist says "How can I help you lady?" The woman asks "Do you do celebrity faces?" The artist says "Sure lady, whatever you want!". She says "On the inside of my left thigh, I want the face of Paul Newman, and on the inside of my right thigh, I want the face of Robert Redford." The artist says "No problem lady, hop on up!" She sits on the tat table, spreads her legs apart, and the artist dives in to work.

A few hours go by and the artist says "OK lady, all done." He hands her a mirror to inspect the job. The lady looks in between her legs with it and says "Hey! That doesn't look like Paul Newman! And this doesn't look like Robert Redford! I'm not paying for this!!". The artist says "Look, if I get an impartial opinion that can recognise the faces, you pay, if not its free, ok?" She agrees. The artist walks out the door of the shop and grabs the first person to walk by, which just happens to be the town drunk. The artist leads him to the open legs of the woman and says "OK, tell me who you see!". The drunk sticks his face into the spread legs of the customer, looks back and forth for a few, then exclaims "Well I don't know who this guy is, and I don't know who that guy is, but the one in the middle is Willy Nelson for sure!!".

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My mum always told me, "Never do something that you'll regret later in life."

I always thought that it was great advice. So I got it tattooed on my forehead.

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I went for my first tattoo yesterday, I decided to go for something simple. So I got 'pain is temporary, pride is for' on my forearm.

Had to stop there, it bloody hurt!

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I went to my local tattooist and asked him to do me an Indian Head tattoo on my upper left arm...

Was I pissed off when he'd finished.  There on my arm was a wonderfully life-like depiction of local corner shop owner Mr Gupta . . .

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I'm suing my tattooist. I looked in the mirror at the job he'd done but he's done it back to front.

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