Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Some more parody poetry . . .

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Theodore Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss, wrote “Green Eggs and Ham” in response to a $50 bet that he couldn’t write a book with 50 words or less. The bet was made in 1960 with Bennett Cerf, the co-founder of Random House, Dr Seuss’ publisher. Having had a success with 236 words in The Cat and the Hat, Cerf maintained that Geisel couldn’t do it again, this time with only 50 words. Geisel won the bet, creating an all-time favourite and his best-selling work that would later go on to become a popular animated Netflix series

By the way: Bennett Cerf never paid up, but Dr. Seuss made a huge win on it anyway. 

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A confession . . . 

I have never liked Green Eggs and Ham, never have, don’t give a damn, you may think it pure delight, to me it is just utter shite . . .   Does anyone really think it’s fun, or am I just a voice of one? 

Let me know. 

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The original Green Eggs and Ham poem appears at the end. 

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Some parodies . . . 

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A Modern Curse 

by Charles Clive, 2012 

I do not like your mobile phone. 
I do not like its ringing tone. 
I do not like it here nor there; 
I do not like it anywhere. 

I do not like it on a plane, 
nor when I’m on a crowded train; 
not in a bus, not in a car, 
not even in a crowded bar. 
I do not want to hear it ping 
or, even worse, Madonna sing. 

I do not like the sound of pop; 
that wretched noise has got to stop. 
So let me make this mighty clear, 
your phone, I do not want to hear. 
And, should it ever start to ring, 
I’ll come and smash the wretched thing. 

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The original . . .

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GREEN EGGS AND HAM by Dr. Seuss 

I am Sam 
Sam I am 
That Sam-I-am! 
Than Sam-I-am! 
I do not like 
that Sam-I-am! 

Do you like green eggs and ham? 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 
I do not like green eggs and ham. 

Would you like them here or there? 

I would not like them here or there. 
I would not like them anywhere. 
I do not like green eggs and ham. 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 

Would you like them in a house? 
Would you like them with a mouse? 

I do not like them in a house. 
I do not like them with a mouse. 
I do not like them here or there. 
I do not like them anywhere. 
I do not like green eggs and ham. 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 

Would you eat them in a box? 
Would you eat them with a fox? 

Not in a box. 
Not with a fox. 
Not in a house. 
Not with a mouse. 
I would not eat them here or there. 
I would not eat them anywhere. 
I would not eat green eggs and ham. 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 

Would you? Could you? In a car? 
Eat them! Eat them! Here they are. 

I would not, could not, in a car. 

You may like them. You will see. 
You may like them in a tree! 

I would not, could not in a tree. 
Not in a car! You let me be. 
I do not like them in a box. 
I do not like them with a fox. 
I do not like them in a house. 
I do not like them with a mouse. 
I do not like them here or there. 
I do not like them anywhere. 
I do not like green eggs and ham. 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 

A train! A train! A train! A train! 
Could you, would you, on a train? 

Not on a train! Not in a tree! 
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be! 
I would not, could not, in a box. 
I could not, would not, with a fox. 
I will not eat them with a mouse. 
I will not eat them in a house. 
I will not eat them here or there. 
I will not eat them anywhere. 
I do not like green eggs and ham. 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 

Say! 
In the dark? Here in the dark! 
Would you, could you, in the dark? 

I would not, could not, in the dark. 

Would you, could you, in the rain? 

I would not, could not, in the rain. 
Not in the dark. Not on a train. 
Not in a car. Not in a tree. 
I do not like them, Sam, you see. 
Not in a house. Not in a box. 
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox. 
I will not eat them here or there. 
I do not like them anywhere! 

You do not like green eggs and ham? 

I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 
Could you, would you, with a goat? 
I would not, could not, with a goat! 
Would you, could you, on a boat? 
I could not, would not, on a boat. 
I will not, will not, with a goat. 
I will not eat them in the rain. 
I will not eat them on a train. 
Not in the dark! Not in a tree! 
Not in a car! You let me be! 
I do not like them in a box. 
I do not like them with a fox. 
I will not eat them in a house. 
I do not like them with a mouse. 
I do not like them here or there. 
I do not like them ANYWHERE! 

I do not like green eggs and ham! 
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. 

You do not like them? So you say. 
Try them! Try them! And you may. 
Try them and you may, I say. 

Sam! 
If you will let me be, 
I will try them. 
You will see. 

Say! 
I like green eggs and ham! 
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am! 
And I would eat them in a boat. 
And I would eat them with a goat… 
And I will eat them in the rain. 
And in the dark. And on a train. 
And in a car. And in a tree. 
They are so good, so good, you see! 

So I will eat them in a box. 
And I will eat them with a fox. 
And I will eat them in a house. 
And I will eat them with a mouse. 
And I will eat them here and there. 
Say! 
I will eat them ANYWHERE! 

I do so like green eggs and ham! 
Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am! 

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So there you have it, as I said,
I'd rather you give me a limerick instead.

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