-----o😊o-----
It’s an interesting
conundrum: Australia, a democracy, has compulsory voting in Federal, State and
Local elections where citizens get fined for not voting; the US, also a
democracy, leaves it to its citizens to decide whether they vote or not. What happens to government of the people, by
the people, for the people when the people won’t go out and vote? Should the
people be forced or do they deserve the governments they get?
Another
interesting difference. In the US they
vote for the Pres. We vote for a candidate
in our Federal electorate and the party forming government picks its leader and
Prime Minister.
Ponder those points as you relax this Friday with some funnies.
Enjoy the weekend, readers, and stay safe.
The usual warning: risque items ahead. (I sometimes think that acts more as an enticement than as a warning).
-----o😊o-----
SOME HUMOUR:
I accidentally
called my wife a ‘trophy’ the other day...
She shot back,
“Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn’t mean you win
anything!”
------oOo------
Premature
ejaculator seeks lady for short term fling.
Lady in question
must have large breasts, full lips, a nice ass and... OH GOD... never mind...
------oOo------
I saw them
shaking hands
like it was 2019
------oOo------
When googling
Gary Oldman, be very careful....
....I forgot the
'r' and went down a rabbit hole I wasn't prepared for.
------oOo------
This
fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally
fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.
At a kennel
specialising in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.
When they asked
the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.
When they
instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws
with dexterity.
They were
impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).
That night they
had friends over.
They were so
proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog
and showed off a little.
The friends were
impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog
tricks, as well.
This stopped the
couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
Well, they said,
"let's try this out."
Once more they
called the dog, and they clearly pronounce the command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink,
the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in
concentration, and bowed his head.
-----o😊o-----
FROM THE VAULT:
An oldie but a
goodie:
A woman walks in
to a tattoo parlour and tells the artist she would like two tattoos, one of
Matt Damon on her left upper thigh and one of George Clooney on her right
thigh. After hours of work the tattoo artist is finished and holds a mirror in
between the woman’s legs for her to view.
The woman
says,'' I don’t know if these really look like Matt Damon and George Clooney
and I’m not paying for this if it isn't right!''
The artist says
“How about if I get a total stranger off the street. If he says that the tatts
look like Matt Damon and George Clooney, you pay me.”
She agreed. They
got an old man in and asked him who he thought the tattoos looked like.
The man said
"I don't know who the one on the left is, or the one on the right, but the
one in the middle is Willie Nelson!"
(An alternative
version has the woman in London getting tattoos of Prince Willian and Prince
Harry. The man asked to identify them says he doesn’t know who they are but the
one in the middle is definitely Boris Johnson).
-----o😊o-----
LIMERICK OF THE
WEEK:
There was an old
man
From Peru, whose
lim'ricks all
Look'd like
haiku. He
Said with a
laugh "I
Cut them in
half, the pay is
Much better for
two."
-----o😊o-----
GALLERY:
-----o😊o-----
CORN CORNER:
What is
something with 8 eyes, 8 legs, and 8 hands?
8 pirates
------oOo------
What’s the
largest export of Great Britain?
Independence
days
------oOo------
A guy approaches
a beautiful young woman in a short dress at the jukebox.
“Wow. Great
thong.”
She pours her
drink on him and walks away.
“I’m thorry, was
it thomething I thaid??!!”
------oOo------
The recipe said,
“Set the oven to 180 degrees.”
Now I have no
idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
------oOo------
A man goes to an
ice cream shop and asks the worker "Do you have tuna ice cream?"
The worker looks
at him confused and says "no".
The next day the
man goes to the same ice cream shop and asks "Do you have tuna ice
cream?"
The worker says
no again.
The man goes to
the ice cream shop for the third time and asks the same question and the
worker, fed up, says no and decides he will make tuna ice cream for the man
when he comes the next day.
So when the man
comes the next day and asks "Do you have tuna ice cream?" the worker
says "Yes, I have tuna ice cream,"
The man looks at
him disgustingly and says "Yuck!"
-----o😊o-----
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