Friday, October 12, 2012

Funny Friday


It’s Funny Friday again. 

For your reading pleasure I present you with three delightful stories of responses of some elderly persons. . . 

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Has it ever bothered you when the doctor's assistant asks you why you are here? Of course you feel compelled to answer, though you have to answer in front of total strangers in the lobby. Many times, your reason for being there can be quite embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. 

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing doctor for today?" 

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied. 

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." 

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. 

The receptionist replied "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." 

The man replied "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answers could embarrass anyone.” 

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. 

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked "Yes??" 

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. 

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear sir?" 

"I can't piss out of it," he replied. 

The waiting room erupted in laughter. 

The moral of the story is: If you mess with seniors, you're gonna lose 

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An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old tired mule. 

The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. 

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. 

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 

"Hey old man, have you ever danced?" 

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance .... never really wanted to." 

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. 

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. 

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. 

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. 

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 10 gauge barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's arse?" 

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir ... but... I've always wanted to." 

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Corn Corner:

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat." "But madam,” he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!" The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"

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