Who led the Pedants' Revolt?
What if this wasn't a rhetorical question?
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
And the monk gets his hot dog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor just puts it in his pocket, so the monk says, "Hey, where's my change?"
The hot dog vendor says, "Change comes from within."
Just imagine, for a moment, if there were no hypothetical situations.........
Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One atom seems fine, but the other atom is obviously shaken up.
"Are you all right?" asks the one atom solicitously.
"No!" cries the other atom, looking about frantically. "I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
Comes a knock on the pearly gates. St. Peter asks, "Who is it" A voice says, "It is I."
St. Peter says, "Oh, no! Not another English teacher!"
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "if I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
Erwin Schrödinger is driving down the road when he gets pulled over by a cop.
The cop walks up to the window and says, "Sir, I'd like you to open your trunk for me."
The cop goes to the trunk then returns.
"Sir, did you know you have a dead hooker in your trunk?"
Schrödinger says, "Well, I do now!"
"Whenever I hear about Schrodinger's cat I reach for my gun, and don't."
The biggest lie ever:
My favourite teacher took a drink
But he will drink no more,
For what he thought was H2O
It's a favorite project of mine
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3
For it's simpler, you see,
A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek
She let out a shriek
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"