Friday, June 26, 2015

Funny Friday


It's Friday again and that means both the end of the week and some humour. (It also means that my only begotten daughter, in whom I am well pleased, arrives from Dubai for a 2 week stay).

Whilst wondering what the theme could be for Funny Friday, I received a cartoon by phone text from Byter R, who shall remain nameless but who is female.

That cartoon was:


I had a sense that R knows all of these dwarves personally.

That also suggested the theme for this Friday.

Before I am accused of being insensitive, or of making light of something that is a major female stresser, let me say that I agree with the comment sometimes attributed to Gloria Steinem/Florynce Kennedy:"If men could have babies, abortion would be a sacrament."  So it is with the Big M, if men were to go through it the way women do, society would grind to a halt).

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My internal thermostat has only 2 settings... 

1. Hypothermia 

2. Eternal Fires of Hell. 

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My 18-year-old girlfriend is mad at me because I "know nothing of women".

Probably just her menopause making her a bit temperamental.

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Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light
Bulb?

Woman’s Answer:

One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this
House knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CABINET for the past 27 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR DOES THE LAUNDRY!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF DIRTY CLOTHES THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!!

I’m sorry. What was the question?

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Menopause:

When you long for the old days of PMS.

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Corn Corner:

I was playing poker with my mum and a couple of her friends, when they all get a hot flush.

It's the last time I play cards at the menopause support group.


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