ANECDOTES

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Syndicated cartoonist Gary Larson, whose off-the-wall comic strip, The Far Side, appears in hundreds of daily newspapers, was once invited to speak to a graduating class of history students at the University of California at Berkeley. "My first controversial cartoon," Larson recalled, "was of Santa Claus writing in his cookbook on nine ways to serve venison." The result? Larson was deluged with hate mail.

Nonetheless, an editor stood by him and gave him a word of supportive advice: "'Just keep doing it the way you're doing it,'" Larson recalled, "and I have... I can't think of anything much sadder than hearing a different drummer in your head and marching to the same beat that everybody else does."

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Winston Churchill entered a men's washroom in the House of Commons one day and, observing Labor leader Clement Attlee standing before the urinal, took up his stance at the opposite end of the room. "Feeling stand-offish today, are we, Winston?" Attlee chirped. "That's right," Churchill replied. "Every time you see something big, you want to nationalise it."

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St. Thomas Aquinas (1225–1278) was a genius and a brilliant theologian, but he was also quiet, gentle, full of wonder, and the size of a fullback. People mistook his innocence for idiocy when he was a young monk and called him The Dumb Ox.

One day, his fellow monks ran up to him and said: “Thomas, come see! The pigs are flying in the sky!”

Thomas jumped up and bounded to the window. The other monks shrieked with laughter.

He was silent for a minute, then quietly said: “I would rather believe pigs can fly, than that my brothers would lie to me.”

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There are two versions of how the Mongols killed the Caliph al-Mutasim when they sacked Baghdad. The more realistic one is that he was rolled into a carpet and trampled to death by the horde, the Mongols’ own method for putting princes to death without shedding royal blood.

The other, as reported by Marco Polo, is that he was locked in his treasury with all his jewels and baubles with no food or water and left to die reflecting on how he should have spent his gold on an army rather than wasting it on his own vanity and greed.

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In 1899, a young Winston Churchill was starting out as a writer. Problem: there was an American novelist of the same name whose works (at the time) were more well known than the British Churchill's. What follows is a good humoured correspondence between the two.

Letter from Winston Churchill (UK) to Winston Churchill (US)

London, June 7, 1899.

Mr. Winston Churchill presents his compliments to Mr. Winston Churchill, and begs to draw his attention to a matter which concerns them both. He has learnt from the Press notices that Mr. Winston Churchill proposes to bring out another novel, entitled Richard Carvel, which is certain to have a considerable sale both in England and America. Mr. Winston Churchill is also the author of a novel now being published in serial form in Macmillan's Magazine, and for which he anticipates some sale both in England and America. He also proposes to publish on the 1st of October another military chronicle on the Soudan War. He has no doubt that Mr. Winston Churchill will recognise from this letter -- if indeed by no other means -- that there is grave danger of his works being mistaken for those of Mr. Winston Churchill. He feels sure that Mr. Wiston Churchill desires this as little as he does himself. In future to avoid mistakes as far as possible, Mr. Winston Churchill has decided to sign all published articles, stories, or other works, 'Winston Spencer Churchill,' and not 'Winston Churchill' as formerly. He trusts that this arrangement will commend itself to Mr. Winston Churchill, and he ventures to suggest, with a view to preventing further confusion which may arise out of this extraordinary coincidence, that both Mr. Winston Churchill and Mr. Winston Churchill should insert a short note in their respective publications explaining to the public which are the works of Mr. Winston Churchill and which those of Mr. Winston Churchill. The text of this note might form a subject for future discussion if Mr. Winston Churchill agrees with Mr. Winston Churchill's proposition. He takes this occasion of complimenting Mr. Winston Churchill upon the style and success of his works, which are always brought to his notice whether in magazine or book form, and he trusts that Mr. Winston Churchill has derived equal pleasure from any work of his that may have attracted his attention.

to which Winston Churchill (US) replied:

Mr. Winston Churchill is extremely grateful to Mr. Winston Churchill for bringing forward a subject which has given Mr. Winston Churchill much anxiety. Mr. Winston Churchill appreciates the courtesy of Mr. Winston Churchill in adopting the name of ‘Winston Spencer Churchill’ in his books, articles, etc. Mr. Winston Churchill makes haste to add that, had he possessed any other names, he would certainly have adopted one of them.

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