Although I post reminiscences and personal observations about the past, I have tried to avoid this blog becoming the equivalent of a face book or twitter page setting out what I did each day. Today I am departing from that policy and presenting a few anecdotes about some recent personal items. Again there is a cuation that there is ome risque content.
Yesterday I was in conference with a client when my mobile telephone rang. Usually someone else in the office will take my mobile and answer the call but no one was available on this occasion. I said to my client “I’ll just get rid of this call.” Still looking at my client’s documents and turning over the pages, I answered. The caller was my wife, Kate, who asked “Are you with someone?” I intended to say “Yes, can I call you back?” My mind on the documents, it unfortunately came out as “Yes, can I get rid of you?” “Yes, but you’re in deep excrement when you get home.”
The above story is reminiscent of the old joke about the chap who tells his friend that he is in strife with his wife for having made a Freudian slip at the breakfast table. His friend asks what was said and he responds that having intended to ask "Would you pass the salt, please", he had instead said "You ruined my life, you stupid bitch."
I hasten to add that this scenario does not apply in my case. Okay, dear?
Rosie is a solicitor who has been with me for close to 20 years, dating from when she was a law student. Indeed I was honoured to be invited by her to move her admission to the Roll of Solicitors of the Supreme Court of New South Wales when she finished her final year. Rosie was married at that time but did not yet have any children. Now she has two lovely daughters.
She frequently sends me jokes and the like, the type of things sent by emails, by mobile phone text messages. Recently she sent me a risqué play on words and I responded by sending her a tongue twister:
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt,
Not a punt cut square but a square cut punt.
It’s round in the stern and blunt in the front,
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
A little later she sent me a text message in reply:
Love the tongue twister.
My girls got to my fone and now they’re reciting Mrs Puggy Wuggy all over the house, emphasising cut punt as loud as possible!
My No 2 son, Elliot, turned 18 a few days ago. Because he is in the middle of his Higher School Certificate exams, he wanted to postpone a party so we went to dinner instead. We gave him his gifts at the dinner. I had found two of the most awful ties possible – one with fluoro coloured roosters and chickens and one with golf clubs (he doesn’t play golf) – which I then wrapped in birthday paper. He opened the gift and was thanking me for the gift, telling me later that although he felt obliged to be kind, inwardly he was thinking “Oh, my God.” After a short time I told him that it was a joke. Now everyone thinks I was mean.
Here are the ties:
The final item also concerns Elliot, who is known to his friends for some reason as Errie.
Elliot’s gf is named Maddy (Madeline) and she is a charming young lady. One of Maddy’s friends gave Elliot a bunch of flowers for his 18th, but flowers with a difference. She had gone to the trouble of making a birthday bouquet out of chocolate dipped strawberries, with little vests, bowties and his name. The display used 3 types of chocolate and there was even a decorated Tim Tam, all of it in a glass vase full of jelly babies and sour jubes.
Such a sweet thing (no pun intended) to do.
(Click on the images to enlarge).