Thursday, April 14, 2022

READER CONTRIBUTIONS WEEK, CONTINUED: MORE WORDPLAY

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Byter Anthony P, a friend and colleague, sent me an item about lexophiles.      

What is a lexophile, I imagine you are thinking.  I know I did when I received Anthony’s email so I looked it up. 



I then received an email from Byter and relo by marriage Ron T in the US, telling me he liked the puns post.  His email:

Good morning –

Otto, these are puns I will use over, and over, and over.

Thank you so very much – I’ll be the life of every meeting and party I attend, that is, iof I can remember them.

I usually require many cups of coffee to start my day, not so this morning. These puns triggered everything in my brain needed to get things going.

I always check your Bytes and, with my coffee, my day is started – no coffee needed today.

Many thanks again.

All the best to you and your loved ones.

Ron. 

The thing about puns is that people either love them or more commonly loathe them, so Ron is exceptional.

I replied to Ron that if he thought those puns were good, he should see what would be appearing  tomorrow. 

He responded “Otto,  that's a challenge!  Can't imagine topping this morning's offering. It was great.” 

So Ron et al, see how you enjoy today’s wordplay.

 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Anthony’s email:                                             

An annual competition is held by the 'New York Times' to see who can create the best original lexophile. 

This year's submissions: 

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. 

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. 

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. 

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore. 

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. 

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. 

I got some dead batteries that were given out free of charge. 

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. 

A will is a dead giveaway. 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now. 

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired. 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed. 

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye. 

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. 

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. 

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? 

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. 

When chemists die, they barium. 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. 

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

S’more . . . 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. 

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 

The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. 

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner. 

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under. 

A boiled egg is hard to beat. 

When you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall. 

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses. 

A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

 


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