Sunday, May 2, 2021

MORE RATE MY PLATE


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A revisit to Rate My Plate.

Rate My is an online community of members that like to share, via photographs and comments. whatever is on their dinner plate. The group has over 500,000 members.

Below are selected pics and comments from the Facebook page at:

The fun is in the comments.

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Full English to start the weekend by Damien C


Reader comments:

Maybe with the rest of your weekend you can go out and buy yourself a toaster!

I see you're eating it outside, in the dog house are we?? After telling the missus that you were only having 1 or 2 with your mates at the local but it turned into 11 or 12, you ignored her 18 texts got back at 2 in the morning and ended up sleeping in a bush in the garden.

It all looks good but you really need some tomatoes or beans or something to keep it from being dry. Also that should be toast and not dry sliced white bread. This isn’t soup.

Sorry but I instantly saw two penises that may have seen a bit too much sun for the past little while. On the left.

Is this breakfast or high tea? Lose the bread and butter! Looks drier than a nun’s gusset. Needs baked beans and brown sauce. Your egg looks like an amoeba from my biology class. Some of the right ingredients are there but on the whole you could do much better. 4/10

Good enough to eat is that๐Ÿ˜‹ I too like plain, crusty, unbuttered bread but just for the egg, and talking of eggs, that's pretty darned good too with its crispy bottom and runny yoke๐Ÿ‘

Good choice not to have beans. They don’t belong there.

I’m hoping that’s pepper on the egg and not charcoal. Could be improved by the bread being fried.Oh, and Get rid of that red muck bottom left.

Mushrooms are the devil's ear buds, white bread I'm sorry to say is just pulped paper. Anyone who thinks congealed blood is appetising is sick.

Almost full. May want to use the toaster. And for the love of god, you need something moist on that plate. Bean it up Damian

Oh that looks good. A proper full English. NO BEANS! This is instantly a massive improvement on most offerings on this site, but the addition of a couple of well grilled tomatoes would raise this to another level. 9/10

Add beans and grilled tomato, change red sauce for brown, toast that bread then bob’s yer uncle and Fanny’s yer aunt Damien

Few beans wouldn't go amiss, drier than a witch’s tit and maybe another rasher of bacon and I'm in, Apart from that, not bad

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Crispy Bacun Booty by Becci W


Perfectly cooked bacon

Nice. Cooked properly, and placed in the bread properly ๐Ÿ‘

I’m confused... is this a deconstructed bacon sandwich, or simply bacon on bread?

Now that is how bacon should be , slap some sauce on it, i would go for HP on this occasion.

Just how I like it, and straight out of the pan, not kept warm so it turns into leather, so will be soft to eat yet crispy, and kinder to my teef. You get a good 10 from me for this, now gimme๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜Š

Bacon butty not booty. Looks delicious, though. Perfectly cooked bacon.

Bread needs to be buttered with smooth peanut butter. Don't knock it unless you have tried it. Delicious it is ๐Ÿ˜‹!

It’s bacon but it’s been laid out in the shape of a chicken... I can’t un-see this!

Looks like grilled roadkill

Loving the bacon to bread ratio, now do the right thing and put some pepper and brown sauce on that bad boy

How can you not like a bacon sarnie just the smell on its own of the bacon cooking ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค you should make an air freshener of that bacon aroma ๐Ÿคฉ

Sweet Mary and Jesus and the wee donkey it’s a bloody butty , it’s not a pirate treasure

Crispy?!!! More like CREMATED ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ. Also streaky bacon is the only acceptable crispy bacon. Back and middle bacon should be cooked just enough but not too much ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿคค

Butter on a bacon sandwich!! I thought there was a law against that?! Don't tell me, you suffer from gout?

Aaargh! You disgust me for putting that on here because it is too good for this page! You should be ashamed of yourself! Now drop it on the floor and roll it in some dirt or something and come back! Honestly!!

Bacon looks like the sole of a leper’s foot.

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Chicken Dinner by Stace R


It looks like my cat with the dodgy guts just used your plate as a litter tray!

That gravy looks like chocolate sauce. Judging by the rest of the plate I wouldn't be surprised.

Profiteroles, mushy peas, and roadkill - must try harder

I’ve never put melted chocolate on my dinner - I suppose it hides the dried up chicken

Dinner and dessert in one, chicken, spuds & peas, with chocolate sauce dressing, not for me but whatever tickles your fancy.

Geez...I thought you had poured chocolate sauce on it...not gravy...boiled spuds too ...cudda roasted them ...mushy peas are for chips...utter shite...well done proper ๐Ÿ‘Œ

That's the worst plate of food (if it is food) I have ever clapped my eyes on. Mushy peas are to eat with fish and chips ffs. What the hell are you playing at? Better stay by the toilet tomorrow!!!

Firstly, potatos do better when actually cooked. Secondly, that chicken is about as dry as a corpses fanny after being cremated. Thirdly, it was so nice of you to regurgitate your peas for our entertainment.

Dry chicken, tinned mushy peas and boiled spuds finished off with chocolate sauce, absolutely no redeeming elements to this car crash ๐Ÿคข

Apart from the fact that mushy peas have come straight out of the devils backside that gravy looks more like ice cream topping , you have ruined a chicken there matey

Well that’s the dog’s dinner, so what are you having?

Is that gravy, or does your dog need a vet?

There's no winner winner with this chicken dinner AT ALL

Genuinely thought I was looking at some kind of organ autopsy. Don’t think this would taste much better!

Sometimes you see something that utterly stops you in your tracks. I looked at this photo for three minutes and it still hasn't made sense to me. Why would a person do this? If these ingredients were humans, we'd be putting them in care. ☹️

I'm guessing you're still single Stace ?
        
Don’t know where to start with your amazing offerings.. looks like you farted and followed through.

Hopefully you’ve got Stevie Wonder round for dinner.

Sweet mother of divine jayzas what in the name of God is that, quails eggs chocolate sauce, peas and something that's supposed to be chicken ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ

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Cheese on Toast by Zornitsa G


I’m impressed by the way you managed to make the cheese look burnt and uncooked at the same time, great skills!!

Far too much cheese used!! ๐Ÿง€๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜ต But absolutely love the finishing touches showing off your fantastic art skills ๐Ÿ˜

It's quite impressive to fit a whole kg of cheese on one slice of bread

It's just far too happy for my liking, how can you bring yourself to eat him?

I can’t say anything bad ๐Ÿคฃ its a happy cheese on toast , I think you’re evil if you eat it ๐Ÿ˜œ

Even if it does look like something you'd serve at a kids birthday party, it's still miles ahead of some of the dishes on this page 5/10

I swear that's the nurse that administered my Covid jab last Tuesday.

Putting the exemplary culinary skills to one side, artistically, van Gogh would have been proud of this masterpiece.

He looks very happy considering he's going to be eaten, digested and shat out into a toilet pan

FFS Zornista, what is that? Sigmund Freud would have a field day analysing this monstrosity.

You've spent far too long making your cheese on toast Happy when in reality you're crying out for A McDonald's

See you’ve went for the “ cheap cheese that don’t melt”, just grows a skin like Freddy Kruger’s face.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I’ve never wanted to punch food before. New feeling.

Looks like a child's drawing of a minion ๐Ÿ˜‚

It’s a skill to turn cheese into a tired old pair of tits Zornitsa...

Looks like Sponge Bob Square Pants

Did you name it “scarface” ?

WTF did you do to Spongebob?

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Corned Beef with Mash & Beens by Justen B


Just rest this plate precariously on the side of the couch. Why not? Also, that fork on the couch is exempt from all germs probably.

beautifully cut beef, mmmmmmm. Justin this looks just soooooo good why wouldn’t you show it off on the arm of the sofa? The cup holder I love to. Get your feet up pal enjoy your dinner and watch Ready Steady Cook

It’s so frustrating when professionals use this page to show off their creations to massage their own ego’s !! ‘Yes yes, you’re amazing, well done you’ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Only a true gastronome would have the foresight to marry those delicately balanced flavours on the same plate. I salute you!

Your bean to mash ratio is ridiculous and that corned beef looks like it’s been frisbeed across the room and by luck landed on your plate. It’s like you’ve just given up. I can only hope the rim of your plate manages to hold back the bean overboard situation that is imminent.

Quality meal, bit overboard with the beans but other than that, restaurant quality stuff right there

Only one Charlotte potato was harmed in this meal. I feel sad that it gave it’s life for this.

The fact that you don’t know when the beans will tumble off the side gives this dinner an edgey vibe!

The thought of those beans going over the edge of the plate is giving me anxiety.

You know when you get that feeling after being on holiday and eating out every night... especially in America where portions are big and everything comes with cheese sauce ... and you're desperate to go home for some simple no frills food... well this isn't that...

I’m concerned, there is no barrier between that tsunami of beans and your cream sofa ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

The amount of respect I have for you is about as thin as the gap between those beans and the edge of that plate

I honestly thought I was on the MasterChef page. The juxtaposition of that corned beef carved to perfection against the random, one might say, landscaped mash is clever enough. Then bringing it together with haricot beans suspended in a tomato coulis coulis makes it a work of genius.

You take the word 'Basic' to another level. Three great ingredients, so little imagination.

Big wide world out there, go out and meet people.

I'm wondering if all three of these items could be used to retile my bathroom

An absolute pauper’s dinner. Rotten.

1939 called, it wants it rations back.

I’d rather eat your cheap carpet

With that many beans on the plate I'm sure your living room ended up resembling that scene from Blazing Saddles when Mongo and his crew shared a bucket of beans by the camp fire. It became a legendary fartfest. .

This meal looks so bad...even the potatoes are trying to hide from it.

Don't let mum see you resting your plate on the arm of the settee like that.

I’ve seen more appetising plates of dog food.

If I’d had all my teeth knocked out in a freak shower slipping incident, that would probably be my go to meal choice.

Looks amazing, you are so imaginative with your food.

I’m not sure you’ve got enough beans there! ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Your corned beef looks like offcuts of the living room carpet my parents had in the 80s. ๐Ÿ˜

I wasn’t aware that you could make corned beef hash look any less appetising but you’ve gone and done it ๐Ÿคฎ

This my friends is a culinary masterpiece ......here we see the e deconstructed corned beef hash.....all the best restaurants do a ‘deconstructed dish’ well down Chef Justen oh by the way - who in earth spells Justin with a bloody E????

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Homemade Cabbage Soop by Margaret H


The Polish people love cabbage soup especially with some sliced Kabanos in it. Gorgeous.

Looks like the dog puked on your plate Maggie love

This is genuinely one of the worst things I've ever seen and I've seen my fiancรฉe give birth twice now

I think even the cabbage walked away from whatever slop that is ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Margaret if the definition of soup is grey mess you re winning! Stick to the cats and knitting!

Have to admit I’ve eaten many places but never have I been served soup on a plate! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Ah... as prepared by Linda Blair when she spewed it out in the Exorcist. Knew I'd seen it before! Complete with meaty chunks by the looks of it too. Lovely.

Nothing quite like a meal, that blends in with the rest of the table ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Oh dear Margaret. Should have left that in the 1970’s along with rest of your decor. Looks like it may have come off the back of your wallpaper

Dear Margaret, I am sure you are a beautiful human but this really has ruined my Sunday๐Ÿคข. It looks like it’s been left on a doormat and hopefully somebody can wipe their poop stained shoes on it to make it more appetising๐Ÿ˜œ

Soup is meant to be eaten with a spoon and not a knife and fork. All I see is a plate of work house gruel.

I'm not sure what's worse, the placemat, the plate or the cat vomit !

With the tray and cutlery maybe we should start a ‘Rate my Plate, Antiques Edition’.

If that's not a good reason not to go vegan I don't know what is..Eating soup with a knife and fork..you’re a wrongun..๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Looks like you scraped grease off your oven and poured it onto a plate. Disgusting!

Looks like something that fell out of my shnoz when I had a heavy cold

Looks like dog puke after it's ate dog puke

FFS Margaret, let's start with the placemat hideous, plate horrendous, cutlery is manky and that plate of lizard pus you've put on that plate is the worst I've seen on here.

You know when your dishwasher stops working? It’s normally because Margaret’s been cooking soup in the overflow pipe ๐Ÿคข

Margaret, really sorry that your Dog threw up on it just as you posted! ๐Ÿคฎ

I have never, eaten soup with a knife and fork. That reminds me, I need to clean the fish pond out๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿคฎ

Margaret I’d rather eat out of bins than this

You're supposed to use a litter tray, not a plate.

Soup served on a plate ๐Ÿค”. To be eaten with a knife and fork...... I don’t think you’ve picked the right cookery book up Margaret.

In the future if my husband ever has a bad comment about my cooking I shall show him this picture as a reminder things can always be worse.

Can we have a picture of it before you ate it and shat it out.

Honestly, I think I’d rather eat the placemat.

The carpet table mat looks more appealing than this abomination ๐Ÿคข

Look like the warnings in the back of a cigarette packet๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข

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Classic Mince & Beens by Paul N


Beautiful presentation but overly fussy for me

Oh my what an amazing platter, perfectly presented. You are on your way to Masterchef

Stunning work. I love the contrast between the braised beans and the slow cooked tender pulled beef

Classic, nothing classic about this. If you think this is acceptable and appropriate then I dread to think what your house looks like. Mind you, you must have done some hoovering as it looks like you have emptied out the contents of the bag, mixed it with sludge out of your drain pipe and pushed it through a mincer, added some cheap cost-cutter beans and chucked a rock cake on the plate! 1/10, outstanding, a masterpiece,

Presentation is amazing beans slightly underdone for my liking but love the way you kept them away from the mince in a way only experts appreciate ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

Never before have I seen a 5 tone colour picture of food, of which 2 colours include the plate and table, fail so miserably not only as an evening meal, but also as a piece of modern art.

Classic - adjective: "judged over a period of time to be of the highest quality and outstanding of its kind"

I think we can all agree that the word "classic" has been catastrophically misused in this instance.

I love the lighting, looks like you've just slid this through the slat of a dungeon door in the basement where you keep your victims

You sir have restored my faith in “classic dishes” ๐Ÿง

I cannot even find the words..... what on earth is this? I'm thinking you've been living in a cave and have never seen a restaurant, cook book, cookery show!!!!

This looks like a sheep has been hung, drawn and quartered and slopped onto an old camping plate during a rain storm on a camp site in Aberystwyth.

At least the tins you opened have been freed of their burden.

Brilliant ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป
There's been too much edible stuff on here lately!

Classic?? In what sense ? I have seen divorced couples look better together than this “ beans and mince” combo .

Do you get your inspiration from the menu in your local care home? ๐Ÿคท‍♂️

Whilst farming I once found a lamb in a ditch that died some time previous. I had to fork it out from the mud and dump it in a slurry pit. It looked more appetising than this.

Nice one Paul, pretty sure that’s gonna come out faster than it went in and probably look much the same.

I didn't know Chernobyl was supplying the UK with jacket potatoes, but a little radiation will make that skin deliciously crispy. And the potatoes too come to think of it

You might as well just scrape that down the toilet, cutting out the middleman, which will also save you a few blood vessels and bog rolls!!

Unfair that we now have offerings from what is obviously a professional chef posted on here!๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผ‍♂️

Paul N..... you are welcome to the group but your parole isn’t up till 2045. Stay strong brother

As a Glaswegian, where mince n tatties is part of our cultural food heritage, this photo offends me.

I'm sending Oor Wullie doon tae kick ye in the plumbs wi his tackity boots!

The delicate way that you have barfed ๐Ÿคฎ onto the plate is a projectile masterpiece ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ณ Top Marks for not getting it over the table...

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Pesto Pasta with Tempeh and Black Been Noodles by Adam S


Congratulations on you dog crap and vomit concoction you must be very proud. Thought most people would leave this outside where the dog did it not plate it up.

It's a good job you told us what it is, because it looks like a huge dollop of dog poo with chunks of undigested sosig roll in it. And this is why we love Rate my Plate! Well done ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ‘

Fantastic, it looks like you've ate the food, shat it out, ate it again then vomited it up onto the plate, exactly what we expect.

Omg I literally had a bit of sick come up when I looked at this

That looks like the results of 15 pints of lager, a doner kebab, then it aggravates the stomach ulcer and i vomit on the pavement.

All in all a good night out ๐Ÿ™„

Adam I’d imagine this is what it looks like when a bird has eaten a belly full of worms and then burped it down it’s babies throat.

That’s more like it, to be honest I was getting a bit fed up with all the gastro pub shite on a square plate malarkey. Excellent effort ๐Ÿ‘

Looks like you’ve scraped the contents of a few nappies to create this masterpiece ๐Ÿคฎ

That reminds me, the dog has some sort of bacterial gut infection. Must ring the vet.

My dog did something similar to this on the walk this morning, I gotta admit I did my best but couldn't pick all of it up due to the wetness. I imagine this to smell the same ๐Ÿคข

Good grief. It looks like garden slugs & cheese.

If you’re going to feed your dog vegetables then you should probably chop them up first. That must have hurt on the way out.

That reminds me, must go and unblock my sink!!!

I’m guessing that plate comes with a biohazard warning.

Some one pass me the bleach so I can soak my eyes in it!

This took me right back to 2008 when I had gastric flu

A month or so ago my cat ate a load of caterpillars and puked them up. His vomited caterpillars looked more appetising than this.

I remember when we were kids at school and we used to scrape our plates into a big drum to go for pig swill. This is the contents of that drum.....

Jaysus you need to get that dog to the vet straight away. He needs a few bob Martin's. Serious dose of worms. Bob Martin's will sort him out in a few days.

And the best plate of regurgitated dog food goes to........... drum roll please
yes! its
Adam S ๐Ÿ‘

You win for the worst thing I have yet seen on here. I’m on a diet, well done for helping me lose my appetite ๐Ÿคข

Imagine being on the very cusp of death from starvation, your stomach eating itself from the inside. Imagine if this was your proposed savior. To quote Jud from Pet Sematary, "sometimes, dead is better".

Sorry Adam, I'm struggling with this one. Are you sure it's a meal and not the physical manifestation of your empty miserable and unhappy existence?

I’ve seen better looking food on the pavement at 4am on a Saturday morning

Do you always have a plate handy when you can't make it to the toilet

That's the worst thing I've ever seen and I've watched my grandparents sex tape!!!!

I’m trying to work out if you cooked it, threw it up or shat it out.... I don’t think I want to know the answer ๐Ÿ˜‚




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