Thursday, September 6, 2012

Funny Friday


  



Byter Charles sent me an email which included an item “Swearing at Work’.   Shortly thereafter my father in law, Noel, who has been mentioned in the last two Funny Fridays, rang me to offer another item he thought might be useful in the future, the Indian naming joke, a classic oldie but goodie.  That was enough of a sign for me, the Universe was telling me that this week’s theme should be ‘swearing’.  But be warned, risqué language and content follows:

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Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 new and innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.



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A Native American lad asks the tribe’s chief how he names the tribe’s children.  “When a papoose is born,” says the chief, “I enter the teepee and hold the child in my arms, then I walk outside and the first thing I see is what I name that child.  That is why your brother is named Lone Eagle and your sister is Moonlight on Water.  Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”

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A 5 year old is taken to school daily by her grandad. One day when he wasn’t feeling very well his wife took her. That night she told her parents that the ride to school with granny was very different. “What made it different?” asked her parents. “Well, gran and I didn’t see a single tosser, blind bastard, dick head, prick or wanker anywhere on the way to school today.”

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Corn Corner:

The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.
"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" 
"My daddy said it." Johnny responded. 
"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "you don't know what it means." 
"I do, too." Johnny corrected. "It means the car won't start."


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