Thursday, September 10, 2015

Some more limericks


Caution: risque content and language.

First let me explain that I'm cursed.
I'm a poet whose time gets reversed.
Reversed gets time
Whose poet a I'm.
Cursed I'm that explain me let first.


The bustard's an exquisite fowl
With plenty of reason to howl.
He escapes what would be
Illegitimacy
By grace of a fortunate vowel.

There once was a man named Heinz,
Who wrote poems of only two lines.

A nearsighted couple named Kelly
Are now stuck fast belly to belly
Because, in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.

A preoccupied vegan named Hugh
picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
He took a big bite
before spitting, in fright,
"OMG, WTF, BBQ!"

(The beauty of the above limerick is that the last line works as letters or the words that the letters stand for.)

While out on a date in his Fiat,
The man exclaimed "Where's my key at?"
As he bent down to seek,
She let out a shriek:
"That's not where it's likely to be at."

There's a sports-minded coed named Sue,
Who's been coxing the varsity crew.
In the shell Sue is great,
But her boyfriend's irate,
When she calls out the stroke as they screw.

There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She replied, "Bless my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."



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