Thursday, September 17, 2015

Some more limericks

Caution: risque content follows . . .

We've got a new maid called Chrysanthemum
Who said 'I have just come from Grantham, m'm.
I lost my last place
In the sorest disgrace,
Cuz I snored through the national anthem, m'm.'

There was a young lady from Powys
Who asked of her lover “Just howys
It possible for you
To perform as you do?”
Quoth he “An amalgam of ability and prowys.”

The limerick's callous and crude,
It's morals distressingly lewd. 
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding;
It's designed for us vulgar and rude! 

An actor, in furious rage,
Muttered this to an actress on stage,
“When I’d fallen for you,
I had thought forty-two
Was meant for your bust, not your age!”

“My girlfriend wants me to ski,”
Said the flabby young cellist, “But Gee!
With Leopold Stokowski,
Mussorgsky, Tchaikovsky,
That’s quite enough skiing for me.

A baritone star of Havana
Slipped horribly on a banana.
He was sick for a year
Then resumed his career
As a promising lyric soprano.

A blonde woodwind player named June
Arrived at rehearsal too soon. 
A man in the band 
Put his flute in her hand, 
And it changed to a contra-bassoon.


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