After watching all the hundreds of tons of fireworks on the telly on New Year’s Eve, in my excitement I forgot to turn off the standby button on the TV.
Hope I haven't increased my carbon footprint too much.
The wife is going out tonight.
"See you next year!" she merrily shouted as she left the door.
I opened the window as she was strolling down the street and shouted, "Tell me that in approximately three and a half hours and I'll be really happy!"
For all my Scottish mates, the 1988 calendars are the ones you can now pull out and use again.
Americans are so stupid!
Did you know they aren't celebrating New Year until 8 'o' clock tomorrow morning!
Bet the fireworks look shit.
One of my resolutions is to take more risks.
I then had a Quality Street without looking at the flavour
My New Year’s Evolution is to learn how to spell
I've spent the last two days spinning in circles. New Year’s Revolutions.