Friday, April 30, 2021

FUNNY FRIDAY

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Caution: Risque humour ahead.


A few days ago I posted an item about coincidences and said that I didn’t regard them as portents or omens, nonetheless I threw salt over my shoulder and rubbed a rabbit’s foot.

That reference to a rabbit foot for luck reminded me of a story from years ago when my son was working in the legal practice with me. I looked it up in Bytes and had another head scratching chuckle reading it.

I have checked with son Thomas and he is okay with me reposting it. The post was on May 24, 2013, but the photo of Thomas dates from 2008.

Here is that post . . .
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My son Thomas, who works in my office (and who has now completed his law course, graduation in July, WD) had carried out some tasks for John, an elderly, eccentric Scottish client. John took a liking to Thomas and would often pass on bits of advice, tell him some stories and so on.

Not long after Thomas had completed the tasks mentioned above, he received a letter from John in the office mail.

The letter said that:
  • the item enclosed was for good luck and should be worn around the neck;
  • John’s father had been an ace poacher in Scotland and had never been caught;
  • his father had told him to wear one but he, John, hadn’t and he was nicked in 1942;
  • there was an extra one for a friend.
Inside the envelope was a wrapped parcel which smelt horrible. Tom opened it and found two rabbit’s feet…


John died a couple of years ago. We never did find out whether he was serious or if it was a joke. 

I suspect that he was serious.

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SOME HUMOUR:

Because of my posting the above anecdote in Funny Friday back in 2013, I had added some jokes about rabbits. They appear below.
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A priest was assigned to a new church and wanted to see how seriously the attendees took Easter. He approached one person and asked the meaning of Easter.

She replied that Easter is when a giant bunny brings candy for children.

Ok, how about another, so the priest asked someone else. He says Easter is when all the children colour eggs, and the adults hide the Easter eggs and let the children participate in an egg hunt.

Ok, how about another, so the priest found a conservative looking person praying quietly, and he hoped she appreciated the meaning of Easter.

She described how Jesus carried the cross and then was crucified, and then his body was put in a cave with a rock at the entrance. Good so far thought the priest but then, Easter Sunday, the boulder magically rolled away from the cave, Jesus was resurrected ... and stepped out of the cave and saw his shadow, and he knew there would be 6 more weeks of winter
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A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn blushes, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally givth a thit"

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Sister Claire and Sister Teresa are driving down a desert highway when the devil appears on their hood, making threatening gestures.

"Quick," Sister Teresa says, "Show him your cross!"

Sister Claire leans out the window, shouting:

"Piss off you bastard! I'll kick you in the fucking balls if you try that shit again! Don't mess with me, you prick!"

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

There was a young girl of La Plata
Who was widely renowned as a farter.
Her deafening reports
At the Argentine sports
Made her much in demand as a starter.

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LAW SPOT:


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GALLERY:







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CORN CORNER:

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar...

The rabbit says, “I think I might be a typo.”
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A rabbit, a monkey and a lama walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them, and goes: " I think you're ALL in the wrong joke."

The rabbit says : "Man this is worse than when I was just a typo."
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A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood.

The nurse asks “What's your blood type?”

The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
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A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit “What can I get you to drink?”

The rabbit says “I have no idea, I’m only here because of autocorrect”.

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