A poem utilising a limerick format for its stanzas . . .
Confessions Of A Serial Plant Killer
- Cynthia C. Naspinski
Oh, I wish that I had a green thumb.
All my houseplants are looking quite glum.
I never can tell
Why they're looking unwell
Or why so many succumb.
Have I failed to give enough water?
Have I watered them more than I oughta?
Are they getting too hot?
Is this not the right spot?
It's like sending poor lambs to the slaughter.
The hard, undeniable fact is
Many succulents, ferns and a cactus,
A begonia, a fig,
Many palms, small and big,
Have been victims of my malpractice.
I confess I'm a serial killer.
Many end up as mulch or land filler.
I kill far more plants
Than snails, thrips or ants.
Or an army of green caterpillar!
Though houseplants are deemed beneficial,
Should these perish, then it is official:
I'll waste no more dough
Just to watch 'em die slow,
For my next plants will be artificial!_____________
So here is my version the same theme:
It’s been one of my lifetime regrets,
My plants dying causes upsets,
But an idea fantastic -
They’ll now be of plastic
And so will all of my pets.