Friday, March 6, 2015

Funny Friday

Caution: risqué content follows

So here we are, another Funny Friday.

Last week's content was all words, with one visual.

Today it's all visual, well, okay, one word item . . .

Certain Jewish cultures prohibit a man and woman not married to one another to hug or kiss. Such a ban extended to dancing, an activity that was seen as inevitably leading to lewd conduct. At weddings the men danced while the women looked on. In many communities, especially among the Hasidim, this practice continues to the present day. 

This has given rise to a great bit of humour, which was posted in Bytes some time ago and is worth a repost . . . 

A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counselling.

The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realise it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."

''So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

"Well, okay," says the man, "what about sex? 

Can we finally have sex?" 

"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah* within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

"Doggy style?" 

"Sure! Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?" 

"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No," says the rabbi."Absolutely not!”

"Why not?" asks the man.

"It could lead to dancing!"

*Mitzvah: a religious commandment, in the sense of a good thing 

Recently some of us at the office were discussing different memorable T shirts we had seen at shops or other public locations.  Many of the T Shirts depicted below came out of that discussion.  Rosie offered three of the most risque that she had seen in public and they are included below.  

Corn Corner:

Q: Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel? 

A: It’s called "Cheeses of Nazareth. 

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