Some Olympic humour . . .
David Cameron starts delivering his speech for the London 2012 Olympic Games. He begins his remarks with "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh."
Immediately his speech writer rushes over to the lectern and whispers in his ear: "Prime Minister, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath."
It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London . . .
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
"McTavish, Scotland ," he says, "Discus," and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of pipe and slings it over his shoulder.
"Waddington-Smythe, England ," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks.
The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.
"O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."
The government have advised people to watch out that they're not being sold fake 2012 Olympic tickets.
I think I'll be alright though. My tickets for the men's wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough.
A guy goes to the Olympics and sees a man carrying a long pole.
He asks “Are you a pole vaulter?”
The man replies “No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”