(Before I am accused of being sexist, let me say that my wife thought the above was accurate)
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches.....his little face lit up when he tried to walk.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking.........And then I saw her face
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidently swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.